Remember Shrek and Donkey? Well, of course you do!

River Plate striker Cristian Fabbiani aka “Shrek” has been told to lose weight after he recently tipped the scales at 100kg. Yeah, unbelievable.

“He needs to lose weight. I want him to play ninety minutes – not just half an hour. He needs to lose at least 97% of that extra weight and weigh a few hundred pounds,” said coach Nestor Gorosito.

The Argentinean press loves to call Fabbiani ‘Ogre’ and ‘Shrek’.  In that headline above, “El Hinchado” literally translates to “The Bloated One“. Fabbiani should’ve taken the hint instead of gauging at that backyard barbecue party.

Still, the player insisted that it was his ‘body type’ that was the problem. Whatever the case, you can’t afford to have a 100kg striker wheezing down the field for the ball… it’s a recipe for a joke! Lose weight, hombre!