Dear God, what is happening in this photo? Can BodyHeat Tanning Salon please claim their oversexed customer agora before he becomes a crisp chicken?! We need Greaseano to be on the Hot Chicks With DoucheBags website immediately and this photo will be the front runner. He’ll win it all… and take over the world!
Anyway, Greaseano has passed his Real Madrid medical and will be unveiled officially in a few hours. Fans are already waiting outside the Bernabeu holding up posters and painting their faces as we type. We’ll update tomorrow when he actually puts on the shirt and screams “Hala Moneda“. Yeah, yeah stop reminding us that we’re supposed to be RM fans.