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Yes Kun Aguero, we know you’d like three additional kids in future with The Dona but lighten up lady!!! Messiah is unimpressed and you’d best leave all the petty family talk off the pitch.

Anyway, the Argentinean tipos have started their training sessions under the watchful eye of Kun’s suegro. And already, Messiah has isolated himself from the rest of the team (naturally). He sleeps in a five star hotel with an entourage comprised of his brothers Rodrigo and Matías as well as a Barca rep, Juanjo Brau. He doesn’t watch TV or listen to music, said Argentinean journalists, but spends his time on PlayStation instead. The football association claim that they “don’t want to isolate him completely” – but they seem to be doing exactly that.

“It’s harder to talk to Leo than Obama,” joked The Dona. Or maybe it’s just a tactic by the Albicelestes to get our hombres to relax about the prospect of facing a lethal Messiah. Não, não!