This looks like an ad for D&G don’t you think?! Seriously, what is Palle d’oro even doing on the pitch? All of us already have nightmares of Luca Toni with his new number 30 shirt and now GoldenBalls has returned to wreak havoc on the city of Milan. Prepare yourselves, amici!

Well, at least Balls of Gold is honest with himself about that nightmare move to the Bernabeu in 2003. “I only won something in my last year at Real Madrid. I would have stayed in Manchester until the end of my career,” he said, implying that he does indeed regret listening to whispers from the coat-wearing uncles at Real.

In other news, only €63 million and Galliani’s fake acting separates O Pato from a Madrid move. They’re targetting a July transfer but of course he’s not che stupido, right?