Oi chicos y chicas! It’s Blind Items Monday again, which means while you were busy at Oktoberfest, our sources ditched the beer in favour of Red Bull and made some investigative calls to bring you these truly sizzling Football Puzzles! Who’s the serial cheat and Twitter perv? Get Crackin’!
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Our first player, Mr.X, is an A-List Footballer, who is highly-respected and regarded in his country among home supporters and the football world. His status is almost that of a ‘legend’ and role model at the club he is playing for. Mr. X has been ‘blissfully’ married to his beautiful wife of many years. Like many of his compatriots, Mr. X does not speak a word of English and has never played in the Premiership. But his record for cheating exceeds the number of individual trophies he has won. At a recent party, Mr. X was seen flirting with numerous women but eventually left the party with three young girls. When his wife rang Mr X’s teammates to ask where he was (it was close to 5am), they were more than happy to cover up for him, saying that he was busy “playing the PS3” in their apartment. By “PS3″, they really meant the 3 Girls.
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This rather good-looking football personality (he’s no longer playing, by the way) enjoys the Moet & Chandon bottle of premium champagne in his hotel room more than going out to social events, where he’s likely to be mobbed. Nothing wrong with that, except he often walks to the lobby in his slippers and white bathrobes – with nothing underneath – and enjoys creating a scene with his drunk talk. Although he made the transition from former star to a fixture at fashion events recently, this player is a recluse and would rather be filing his nails in the hotel room than meeting what he claims are “dull, fake people!” Oh, and he’s neither European nor Latino.
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This player scans through his Twitter Followers list to look for ‘pretty girls’ and DMs them to meet up for ‘dinner’ and ‘drinks’ on Saturdays. Two of the girls in question tell our sources that when they (excitedly) responded to him out of naivety, they were completely unprepared for what awaited them. The girls said : “We were told to get into a huge car, where there were five other non-football, leery looking ‘friends’ who came with him. When they made us sit on their laps and got touchy feely, he (the player who was driving) just laughed & it was clear they all weren’t just ‘up’ for dinner or drinks. So we told him to stop the car, we needed to get out at a petrol kiosk to use the toilet, and we just ran for our lives.” Hint? : If you guessed Premiership, you’re right!
