Members of an Italian mafia group have been arrested after police uncovered their plans to abduct none other than Senhor Mourinho! What were they thinking? He’d win them all over in quindici minuti! “Giovanni, I like your spirit but you are not listening to me no? I asked you to shave off your beard on Thursday. I don’t like these things. To become European Champion, you must do it or we don’t talk about it,” he’d say while making the table in a spare Lazio shirt.

Anyway, the authorities found strong traces of wiretapping, photos and the coach’s home address in one of the mafia’s homes in Genoa. Gattuso was cleared of all charges, however, after being found cutting his fish in his restaurant while listening to Andrea Bocelli.

So all eyes will be on Dopey today as he prepares to announce the seleção that’ll face Ireland next month. Everyone’s wondering about The Dinho but unless he stops himself from hitting all of Milan’s hot spots with Boriello and starts showing some discipline, there’s no chance for a return. Dopey is all about discipline and consistency so never cross the line or he’ll scream “vá embora!” and that’s the end of you.

And as for the list of strikers, El Pato has been nursing an injury for 24,241 years so he might not make it. Nilmar has been average (at best) for Villarreal so he might be left out. Fabulousoooo and Robinho will probably get the green light since boot camp ain’t the same without them.

Pep’s legacy, Crackovia style – what else do you need to know about it?!

Last but not least, Ricardo over here would like to tell all his fan girls not to worry about his sports hernia problem. Instead, they should finish all their homework and eat on time. Who are we kidding? The best FanGirl breed still belongs to the Kakazetes!

“I feel good. The sports hernia does not bother me any more. It has disappeared, but I still need to do specific recovery work like any injured player does. Last week it was rumored that it is a chronic problem which isn’t true. It isn’t just in Spain where there has been talk about me not being able to return to my old form. It also happened in Brazil and Italy, but it simply isn’t true.”

Roma's De Rossi shows his love to his other namorada, Mari!!! / via Gettyimages

]]> http://futbolita.com/2010/02/08/picture-of-the-day-399/feed/ 1 http://futbolita.com/2010/02/08/la-liga-novela-negredo-pique-higuain/ http://futbolita.com/2010/02/08/la-liga-novela-negredo-pique-higuain/#comments Mon, 08 Feb 2010 07:26:32 +0000 Ash http://futbolita.com/?p=7451

What a dramatic turn of events for Alvaro Negredo! Stellar performances from the past two weeks and a Sunday Señor title (don’t you know you get a tub of Ben & Jerry’s for that?!) wasn’t enough to tide Alvaro over for another week. Tipo scored an own goal and got himself sent off last night in Sevilla’s 2-1 loss to Zaragoza. Se destacó, hombre?

Elsewhere, Geri The Pout Piqué also got himself sent off within 24 minutes of Barca’s encounter against Getafe. Immediately, all the Catalan dance clubs extended their operating hours to 7AM and changed their music genres from House to Rock. Because you know… there’s no party unless DJ Pique turns up!

Anyway, even with nine men down, Barca obviously emerged unscathed and won the game thanks to goals from The Messiah and Xavi. They then proceeded to the club and were approached like this…. (ok, ok we’re really kidding here).

Anyway here are some of our favorite photos from the La Liga weekend. Madrid’s The Pied Piper of Higuain looks to be in fine shape (in every possible way, yes yes) for the World Cup! The Dona better draft him into his Argentinean squad pronto and quit trying to figure out what the fuss about the Superbowl is about.

via Reuters, AP, Marca

]]> http://futbolita.com/2010/02/08/la-liga-novela-negredo-pique-higuain/feed/ 0 http://futbolita.com/2010/02/08/continuacao-da-opera-de-robinho/ http://futbolita.com/2010/02/08/continuacao-da-opera-de-robinho/#comments Mon, 08 Feb 2010 06:51:17 +0000 Ash http://futbolita.com/?p=7448
Haven’t we all seen this from Robinho before? The jersey kissing and outraged facial expressions? Only this time it’d better be for a good cause because Dopey probably still considers him a favourite for SELECAO BOOTCAMP : South Africa!

“He fulfilled what he promised and I was happy with his performance. Robinho decided the game. I think (by Robinho being on the field) it just gets better for the Saints. With the three of us playing together  (Neymar, Robinho and Paulo Henrique), we hope to give joy to supporters,” declared Neymar aka Santos’s Fetus Extraordinaire after their 2-1 win over Sao Paulo in the Paulista Championship over the weekend. Sim, estamos tristes….

What a safe statement, Neymar. Everyone knows that upon his arrival, Robinho was treated like Sultan and fed a bowl of Premium Turkish delights. King Pele personally saw that all this was taken care of… that’s how it really works!

via UOL Brasil

It’s the little things that count most these days for Juventus and in yesterday’s encounter against Livorno, they needed defender Nicola Legrottagli to save their ASSinis! And look, our Sunday Señor this week even pulled up a holier-than-thou shirt after scoring which translates to “Jesus is the Truth”. No surprise here… Nicola is known to be one of the more religious Italian footballers who is anti-homosexuality (like Cannavaro) and whose favourite book is the Holy Bible. Could Nicola be the Kaka of the Serie A? Quick, Francesco Coco asked for a rehabilitation slot!

Here’s a bonus of Nicola looking bored at a DSquared Fashion show in Milan. The models don’t wear anything at those shows so it’s safe to say that he’s in disagreement!

via Reuters

Guess what Berlin's new US ambassador received upon his appointment at office? A calendar featuring the German national female team! / via Gettyimages

Seedorf welcomes Diego to his Japanese restaurant, "Finger's" in Milan. Chuka kurage, anyone?!!! / via Globo

One upon a time, before the grease, step overs and the Jersey Shore Makeover, Greaseaño was a shy young lad. “Este menino tem potencial,” said a deep voice in his head while he was filing his nails in Madeira. Alas, today that young boy has turned into an exquisite creature – one who quickly morphed into a tipo legal in our books after a nice 1am phone conversation. There’s no point being in denial, futbolitas. You will discover it someday too. Also, in our opinion,  Greaseano remains one of the most professional “jugadores” to date. So today, quickly pick up all the spray tan cans you can find and sing: “Feliz Cumpleañossssss!!!”

“Quien es mas guapo…. quien tiene mas sex appeal? Cristiano, tu Cristiano! Pim Pam Pim Pam…”

The Spanish tabloids caught up with Guti at some event where they asked him one of the Cheesiest Questions Alive aka “Do you feel like falling in love (again)?” Con toda seriedad, who asks that?! Even your toes are cringing… admit it. Anyway, equally cheesy Guti answered the journalist: “Who does not (like it)? Not you?” Oh damn, where’s CQC Brasil when you need them? You know they would’ve said something classic about falling in love with his eyebrows….

Anyway, the background to all this is that Guti and his wife, Arancha are divorced with two kids. Since then, he has been linked to a bevy of mujers including university student, Paula, Spanish actress Amaia Salamanca and someone he was photographed with in Miami. Apparently, the girl just wanted The Fame, like Gago Gaga. “I met her, we (were together) for a few days and she seemed like a good girl, but wanting to be rich or famous with a picture of me is ridiculous,” he said. Pim Pam Pim Pam!

via FC Gold Pride, Hola

Oh look, it's Goldilocks Puyol on a holiday! / via Que me Dice