Fútbolita

Awww, there’s nothing like staying true to your roots. Just ask President Lula! He personally invited both the Santos wonderboys – Neymar and Ganso – to a meeting at a Sao Paulo hotel, just to thank them for choosing to stay in Brazil AND snubbing high-profile moves to overseas clubs. As for Neymar, everybody knows how he turned down a move to Chelski (ha-ha-ha).

“It was a courageous act from the board of Santos,” admitted Lula. The team fought for them to stay, because the boys are extraordinary. It was a lesson that the Saints gave, and I hope others will follow. In other words, teams should fight some more and get entrepreneurs to build a fund to pay (players’) wages because they are artists and therefore they deserve to win by giving performance.”

Of course, in true Lula style, he also joked that Ganso “reminds me of myself when I first started to play football”

There must be a reason Monsieur Gourcuff appears so concerned in that photo on the bench for Lyon. Well, that’s because he’s already imagining the fine scones at the Musée des beaux-arts de Lyon! Not that they even have scones there – it’s beyond our wildest imagination. Anyway, Yoann “Remember me for nothing at the World Cup” Gourcuff will be switching Ligue 1 sides for Lyon this coming season. Just cuz’ it’s more glamorous there and Michel Bastos already called him to remind him about the churrascaria welcome dinner!

“This transfer will take place in preserving the interests of Bordeaux, in full agreement with the coach and the coaching staff and in accordance with the contractual commitments of the player,” read the official statement from Lyon.

GuapoVela and THIS MAN were obviously clapping and beaming with pride when Miss Mexico was crowned this year’s winner of the Miss Universe pageant. It’s muito bimbotic, but congratulations to all our Mexican readers who were also rooting for her!

It’s funny how the Juventus squad is made up of players whom the critics love to hate (and vice-versa). They have Amauri, Felipe Melo, Trezeguet and Aquilani within their ranks and these guys haven’t exactly been in the best of situations. Look at the hate Melo’s been getting… and let’s not start with Amauri!

Anyway, all you snobbish fans can’t yell “perdenti per la vita!” in Turin anymore for Del Piero’s Men walked away with the Luigi Berlusconi trophy last night. Seriously, Milan should be ashamed - it was theirs for the taking!

Botox Berlu – who named the tournament after his father – did a little wave from the stands, but apart from that, he was probably trying to book the first flight to Madrid to get to Irina Shayk! Geez!

Hermanos and chicos, if your sole purpose in life is to be a member of the Jersey Shore and DouchaWalla Walla clan (ok, that was completely made up in five seconds), your duty now is to learn from Greaseano! That look he was giving his namorada – the gawwwjus Russian model Irina Shayk – is hilarious.  Ya’ll know that you can’t just go for a Real Madrid basketball date with Greaseano and talk about the weather. Come on now, Irina… be charmed by the power of the oil-slicked hair!

Anyway, Real defeated Hercules in a preseason friendly last night and the 3-1 win was courtesy of goals from Benzema Bon Bon and Di Maria. The Argentinean also decided that it was best to channel both Pato and Neymar in his goal celebrations. Awww.

via Reuters, AFP

So there was no need to scratch our heads to decide this week’s Sunday Señor! After scoring a hat-trick, surely Antonella‘s man, The Messiah, deserves high praise! She must have done something during the holidays to help her novia find his form again for Barca. And no, it can’t be the churrascaria.

Anyway, David Maravilla must also be smiling, because it’s his first major tournament for Los Cules, and he walked away with a shiny new medal! Un buen comienzo de la temporada, for sure.

And here’s a bonus of Pique the Pout doing what he does best (besides enjoying the DJ lifestyle – no kidding)… showering booze! You know that they’ve got loads of champagne bottles stocked up in the dressing room, so he’s not worried that they’ll run out of it anytime soon. If they do, Bojan can always make a quick run for the supermart near his home.

Our good friend from Buenos Aires once dated the man they call Gago Gaga, but don’t worry, she’s not about to write a book about it cos’ she is a Classy Chica Caliente!

Anyway, amiga’s at no loss now because the player in question has been quite the sad flop at Madrid. Even though Flo’Prez and friends have brought over half of Die Mannschaft (that was a joke) to Spain this season, Gago still believes he’ll have a good season at the club. Yeah, if the lawnmowers decide to have a friendly game at the Bernabeu, perhaps…

“I will stay at Real Madrid this year. I’ve already talked about it with Jorge Valdano (club sports director) and Mourinho, and at no time did they say (that) they wanted me to leave. I am very comfortable and quiet. Some will have to leave but I will stay. What was published out there surprised me. I had already spoken to the coach and Valdano.”

Photos via Gettyimages, OLE

Bien, so we modified this week’s theme a little bit to fit with the following GuapoVela video, which you will all be expected to analyze and watch. Here, he talks about missing goal opportunities and how you must always “come back” and persevere in front of the net. Yes, never give up, folks!

“Even if you miss 15 times, when you swing the (ball into the) net, your efforts will be rewarded,” he declared.

As all you chicas would say, “Quince veces suena bien!“ (fifteen times sounds good)

Bienvenido, tipoooo! We’re so thrilled to finally see Özilita in the La Liga. The choice of club may not be everybody’s favourite, but at least MouMou has some solid goals for Real in mind and you know he doesn’t care about the politics in the backroom. As far as Senhor Treinador is concerned, Flo Perez is just a fruit seller in all of this.

Said Ozil : “I spoke to my advisers and looked at the options but I always wanted to join the best team in the world, and to play under the best coach in the world, Jose Mourinho,” I spoke to him and he convinced me. What we spoke about will remain between him and me but that’s why I am here.”

Here he is, doing the Obligatory Madrid-Medical Pose! You can’t join the club officially until you agree to a photo with wires all over you! Also, you gotta Ozil’s ghetto get up with the white shoe, ya’ll.

Meanwhile, here is Internacional’s Rafael Sobis with the club flag… as he celebrated their Copa Libertadores win last night! Yes, Nilmar and Pato’s former club defeated Mexico’s Chivas 3-2, and they promptly walked away with the title of Libertadores champions. Parabennns, Internacional fans!

All the Cescy lovers (ooh, snappy!) at Barca must be feeling a little disappointed at the fact that a move back to Catalonia did not materialise. But that’s fine, because Chamakh and him are getting along just fine at Arsenal. Let him spend a few more seasons with the gunners then maybe Pique can do something to convince him of a return!

“I’m sure that someday he will join the club again. Although he is now working in London, he will always remain a culé,” said Pique to El Mundo Deportivo. Yes indeed, who knows?

via Elisa Estrada, Reuters, Gettyimages,

Remember Riquelme? No, not Larissa Riquelme (NSFW) who singlehandedly caused a record number of eye surgeries to be conducted in one month. It’s the Boca man himself, Juan Roman Riquelme!

There’s a lot of talk suggesting that he will return to play for Argentina, especially after the dismissal of your royal Messi lover, The Dona. Sergio Batista, the team’s interim coach wants him back, so basically he’s telling Roman to forget what The Dona said about his cat’s clothing – and other insults – and pull his act together!

“It would be good to have Riquelme and Messi playing together,” Batista said. “We had them together in the Olympics and it went well.”

Meanwhile, here’s Gabriel Heinze doing his best rendition of Larissa Riquelme. What? Is there a handphone hidden in there somewhere too?

Via AP, Juan Roman Riquelme Oficial

Obviously David Maravilla has nothing to do with Zlatan Ibracadabra’s fickle-minded nature, but the fact that he’s waltzing past you in a pink shirt should be enough to start us all of to a good note, bubblegum and all.

Apparently, Milan are very excited at the prospect of getting Ibracadabra and his nose to the club, but Barca have refused to talk unless they get ‘one of their players’ in return. Quién? you say. The three names are Pirlo, Pato or Thiago Silva. The last two seem highly unlikely but knowing Barca, they’re not going to settle for has-beens. To be a Blaugrana, you’d better BRING it to the table!

And as for the abundance of pinkness in this post, you know what they say…

Photos via Reuters, EL Pais

A few weeks ago, we wrote about how Eva Langoria has been neglecting her old friend, Rafa Marquez in favour of the new Ferosh Kids, IkerBonero. Well, it appears that she has not forgotten him at all.. because they met at the Red Bulls-La Galaxy game over the weekend!

Marquez was with his namorada, Jaydy Mitchel, a Mexican singer and actress. Of course, her husband Tony Parker also attended the game purely for the debut of Titipo Henry. You gotta show your good friend some support, eh?

Here’s a photo of Arjen-We-Still-Don’t-Forgive-You-Robben with a message to his former colleague, Raul the Great One at Schalke! You all know how much Bundesliga loves the Real Madrid legend now, but Robben thinks that Bayern will be title champs again este ano!

He wrote: “Welcome Raúl, and good luck. But we will be champions. Greetings, Arjen!” And with that, he proceeded to dive over the pavement with the letter.

Here are two video featuring your highness Greaseano and the adoooorável Fabio Curly da Silva discussing ‘their game’.  Greaseano seems a little bit aggressive in his explanations, but that’s just cos’ he can’t wait to go on that lunch date with Irina. As for Fabio, queremos beliscar suas bochechas!

via Bild, Jundabean, Nike Futebol, HOLA!

So you should be familiar with Milene Domingues, one of the most talented Brazilian female futbolitas to rock the stage. In case you started watching football yesterday, she’s also Ronaldo Lima’s ex-wife, and one of his most famous partners (oh come on Bia Antony, you didn’t think we’d remember!) She has also started work as a TV commentator in Brazil.

Milene gave a very interesting interview about her relationship with Ronaldo – and footballers in general. So if you know anyone whose sole purpose in life is to become a WAG, tell them to put down The Situation’s Bronzer Pack and consider Milene’s advise sem demora!

“I have this profile. I’m not good looking babe – I’m a normal brazileirinha. I suffered prejudice when I played football for 12 years and did not date players. As for the boys, they thought (going out) would disrupt the game. For the girls, parents thought that I was not a good influence, because I could masculinize them. (And) I pray that my next boyfriend is not a football player. Nothing against it – I’ve had two experiences and they were enough.”

via O Dia

The only thing we can muster from all Oezil’s bling earring is “Oh Jeah?”. Now, you would think that Perez & Amigos would back off after the humiliation of being turned down by one of the most talented players at the World Cup. But hold your OktoberFest Dirndl gowns because now Marca are claiming that Real have increased their bid for Magical Mesut (kkk, we will come up with a better nick soon) by five million euros!

They just won’t let go, will they? And best of all, wasn’t Barca on the brink of signing Oezilita (yes, sounds better doesn’t it) just a week ago?

“Madrid expects to make the deal official with the player on either Monday or Tuesday,” said the source. “Werder Bremen insists that they will only look at the deal if it is more than 20 million.”

If he goes to  Spain, we can all head out for some Kebabs and Shawarma!

via Marca, Gettyimages