• Noticias : Madrid in Albania, Elano Loves Snow and Ruggeri is Annoyed

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    My my, what do we have here? It’s Elano scooping the lovely snow up with his wheelbarrow. And this is no playground, futbolitas. It’s his own backyard in Istanbul, Turkey! Oh, how we wished all our backyards looked like this. It’s nice to pretend to be a Snow Samaritan sometimes, especially if you’re trying to break into Dopey’s squad and can’t manage hat-tricks every week. But what are we talking about? Elano helped Galatasaray to a 5-1 thrashing of Denizli Belediye on Sunday. Então … acho que você é super cool agora, cara? He must now create and score every week as April’s squad-selection date looms closer!

    As we’ve said before, men who dress well are our weaknesses. Check out Sergio Ramos as he disembarked from Madrid’s plane which landed in Albania. Gurlllll looks like he’s parading down the D&G runway and heading off to Project Ponyway to be on the judging panel. Ferosh!!! Can’t say the same about Jerzy Dudek, though. There are rumours that Gattuso’s restaurant needs a fish-chopping assistant. As for Raul The Great One, okay… we’ll leave it at that before the haters come prancing at us with a Heidi Montag poster.

    Anyway, Madrid were in Albania to play in a friendly game or the “Taci Oil Cup”. Of course they won the game 2-1 (Potter Perez would not have tolerated anything less), Fernando Gago played and the screaming Albanian fans went home happy from the Qemal Stafa Stadium.

    So Argentina’s Oscar Ruggeri is really annoyed that Argentina’s team manager, Carlos Bilardo is being a bitch and not allowing him to assume the role as The Dona’s assistant coach.

    “I did everything I had to do to be in the national squad. I talked to Savino, with Grondona, with Bilardo. I’m still waiting,” said Ruggeri. “A year ago I hoped to be in the selection. A year ago I was quiet and spoke to people on the bench. I think it’s unfair. (Julio) Grondona knows how I handled 11 years in the National Team. I defended the shirt, for me it was my life.”

    via AP, David Anchuelo and Globo

  • Portugal Squad Arrive in Albaniaaaaa!

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    This reminds us of a story our amigo told us about a young Mexican journalist who had travelled half the world to see Greaseano at his Nike boot launch earlier this year. Except hombre looked exactly like CR – immaculately-gelled hair, silver studs, a nice tan, even wearing the player’s jersey. The man proceeded to shriek in the press conference room when he had the chance to ask his idol a question – one which evoked laughter from everyone in the room. Greaseano himself was slightly taken aback by his own twin… how sad!

    Anyway, the Portuguese dance troupe have arrived in Albania for their World Cup qualifying game. Oh Nani, couldn’t you have at least smiled for the excited young girl who had waited the entire morning for you? What’s with all the broody facial expressions? At least ‘Gay Times’ Sexiest Man Award Winner, Greaseano, signed autographs for airport employees!

  • Queiroz And Co’ Para Você…

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    Is that supposed to be some kind of cool pose, Queiroz? He’s trying so hard to fit in with the I-Love-90s-Pop-Music squad of his but it ain’t working, tio!

    Anyway, Portugal will play Albania this weekend and all the players know the importance of the game. “If we don’t beat Albania, we will miss the World Cup,” declared Greaseano himself. And if he doesn’t stop tanning, he’ll become his own WAG.


  • Milan Visit Albania

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    So the travelling Corporate Circus that is AC Milan made their midweek rounds once again to play another friendly – this time against the Albanian national team. They couldn’t pull off a win and only managed a 3-3 draw which went into penalties. These guys are really enjoying their holidays, aren’t they?

    Anyway, The Dinho scored the equaliser and the other goals came courtesy of Pippo and Sheva. But be excited, Futbolitas, because snail eating Gattuso is back. Mattioni also featured in the game along with Thiago Silva. Two hot defenders with very interesting prospects!

    “I feel very secure and the relationship with the players is improving more and more,” said Silva after the game.