Fútbolita

Bien, so we modified this week’s theme a little bit to fit with the following GuapoVela video, which you will all be expected to analyze and watch. Here, he talks about missing goal opportunities and how you must always “come back” and persevere in front of the net. Yes, never give up, folks!

“Even if you miss 15 times, when you swing the (ball into the) net, your efforts will be rewarded,” he declared.

As all you chicas would say, “Quince veces suena bien!“ (fifteen times sounds good)

There’s been a lot of talk about Fabregas and an “impending move to Barca” after the World Cup. Now even Xavi has declared that besides the card games and vending machine trips at midnight, the boys of la Seleccion have also been having heart to heart talks!

“I would like him to come to Barcelona, and I have told him so. I have no doubt that Cesc would triumph at Barcelona,” he said.

Anyway, many of us believe that Cesc Bomb will be a regular starter when the World Cup starts. According to former English referee Graham Poll over at the Dugout, he could force his way into la escuadra de partida against the Swiss. Vamos!

Speaking of which, they’d better not let Iniesta and Pujjjjol bunk together, or else….

It’s 4-1… and everybody loves The Messiah! Even if he were to walk into my kitchen now and hand my father a bowl of uncooked eggs, papacito would probably go on to poison the whole family. Anyway, although we do feel bad for Samir Nasri and Denilson, they MUST have seen this coming, Nou Camp and all. Meu deus, even Bobojan was in his own league last night! And there’s no need to flash us the PedoGrin, gente he is 20!

Anyway, Barca will go on to meet Inter in the mouthwatering semis (Ah, don’t you love family reunions, Eto’o and Ibracadabra?!!)

As expected, it was certainly an emotionally-charged game (viste Dani Alves!?!!) Of course monsieur Wenger saved the best quotes about “Zee Lyonel” for last. He declared that the player was “from another planet, like a player on Playstation”.

via Gettyimages

We just wanted to bring your attention to Bobojan, whom we failed to highlight in yesterday’s weekend Señor wrap. Granted, tipo’s looking a little too delirious here but he wants all you Gooners to know that Barca will NOT be playing chess against Arsenal tonight. “I think it’s a magnificent scenario. Arsenal will come here to win the match; they need to score and I’m sure they will also plan to play attacking football, because they need the goals,” Bobojan declared.

Meanwhile, the GuapoVela also enjoyed some time off with Fran Merida and a bottle of Jaffa Juice during training yesterday. Unfortunately for Barca, Ibracadabra, Jeffren and Toure are huge doubts for the game, but as monsieur Wenger always says… nous allons attendre. We’ll wait and see!

In other news, Douchiewalla Deco has declared how he’s a lot happier playing for Portugal, especially since Brazil failed to call him up many, many years ago. Bastante, homem! We’re OVER you, man and that’s said with a Finger-snap in a Z sign.

“With my career, the most normal thing would be to play for Brazil. There are players of the Brazilian team that did not do half of what I did (for the club) and wore the Brazil shirt,” he said. To be fair, he has a point. I mean, look at Ramires!

He also added that “With the players we have, frankly, I see no greater team. Maybe Spain has more solutions, but there’s no other selection superior to ours”

via Reuters/AP

So yes, we know everyone’s still reeling from the Arsenal/Barca game which is why Sneijder feels a little lonely! Thanks to Diego Milito, Inter managed to defeat CSKA Moscow narrowly (1-0) last night but it wasn’t exactly the easiest game to play in. We’re not sure what’s it going to be like for them in Moscow next week… but tipos need to find inspiration ORA!

Here’s a photo of Cesc picking up the ball after scoring the penalty for Arsenal last night. Yes, who wouldn’t want to pick up the ball immediately and do a celebratory jig?! Even we are surprised that they did managed well against Barca. And say what you will about the Spaniard but…. Cómo inspirador! España va a estar orgulloso de tener un capitán como él un día! Fighting back to make it 2-2 is bloody impressive.

Unfortunately, following the game, both Cesc and Arshavin are suspected to have picked up injuries and in the Russian Roulette’s own words: “Perhaps I won’t be able to play for another two or three weeks. It is not a relapse of my old injury, this is a new one.”

T’was a wet day in the office for the Blaugranas yesterday, but this did not prevent Geri the Pout Pique from splashing about at training! Ibracadabra was a brilliant choice of a personality to speak to ‘la presse’ although Titipo Henry would’ve been better, seeing that they’re facing the Gunners. Also, don’t forget to watch the match in HD tonight so that your Russian dreamboat, Arsh, can be seen in all his glory!

“I know I haven’t performed my best against English teams, most recently when Manchester United played Inter. But that wasn’t easy. In Italy, the team’s focus is on preventing goals. Where I play now, it’s more important to make the goals. It’s a different way of playing and it’s one that suits me better,” said Ibra.

via AFP, UEFA

The coolest part about this ManPile is probably the fact that everyone’s colliding into one another – and NOT for the ball. Anyway, Senor Bendtner remembered to wear his Thunderbirds pair of boots last night and scored a hat-trick in Arsenal’s 5-0 demolition of Porto! Ohhh, the pain! Looked like Benfica really did send an eagle to the Emirates stadium after all.

Anyway, Titipo Henry has now come out to declare that the Gunners are going to win something this season. “I know lots of people have a go at (Wenger) over the lack of silverware but every year they are near the top,” he declared. Hmmm.

On a side note, donde esta Carlos Vela?!!

So Senhor Felipe Melo has decided that he really does love the city of Turin – and would like to stay and help Juve win more trophies. And why not right? When he returned to his former stomping ground of Fiorentina last weekend, the tifosi loooooved it!

“No, thanks. It is a pleasure to be observed, praised by a technician as good as (Arsene Wenger), but I have eyes only for Juventus. I’m just focused on my work here. My goal is to play well at Juve,” he declared.

The way he said it – it’s almost like the Gunners are made up of flirty chicas prancing around in Carnaval samba outfits! Yes Dame Denilson, that’s quite possible. o que é sonho!

Arsenal may have lost to Porto last night but Senor GuapoVela here needs to work harder if he wants to intimidate the linesman. Pippo Inzaghi gives part-time classes on that when no one is looking, so tipo Carlos better sign up pronto before all the slots get filled up! Luca Toni already graduated with honours two seasons ago but Pippo never mentioned a money back guarantee. A Sneaky man!

Anyway, the Gunners are now mulling over their 2-1 loss to Hulkamania Porto. Yeah, Fabianski probably needs to find a watering hole asap after yesterday’s performance. Gooners, if you see him walking in the streets of London today, do not hesitate to hand him a lawnmower and a Spandau Ballet CD. He will immediately do a back-pass with those things… you’ll see!

Our dear amis at SambaFoot finally presented Fabulousooooo with his “Best European Footballer in Europe” or Samba d’Or award at the Sevilla HQ on Monday. And thanks to many of your votes, he won it! My my, doesn’t it look muito legal? Je veux que le prix! Of course he didn’t juggle this ball…

It was pretty interesting to hear Fabulouso speaking about his family. “(My family) is not used to calling me before the games. Usually, they call me (after) to know how was the game. My mother never watches the games, she is too nervous,” he said. “She is afraid I will get hurt. One day, I left the field injured, having seizures during a game between Palmeiras and Ponte Preta. I had to leave in an ambulance. After that, it was very difficult for her to watch a game.” (Read the full interview)

The Dona has already decided on 50% of his World Cup list and says that he will tell the players after Argentina’s friendly with Germany next month.

The Messiah, Carlito Tevez, Pied Piper of Higuain and Kun were all called up for the game, leaving no space for Boca’s Martin Palermo. Futbolitas, it’d be a shame to leave him out of the WC squad seeing that he played a HUGE role in Argentina’s qualification in the first place. But as they say, competition is incredibly tough… Prepárense, muchachos!

via Ole, SambaFoot, Reuters

So you know how the transfer tales have been following good ol’ Fabregas over the last couple of months. From Real Madrid to Barcelona, they just won’t stop talking about the Arsenal crack! Of course, the ever brilliant Crackòvia went to spoof it all complete with a SONG AND DANCE number to none other than the Tom Jones cult favourite. And yes, it features everyone from Florentino Perez and Laporta to Gunners chairman… Peter Hill-Wood!! Brace yourself for CESC ON!

How many different ways can you wear lace? Is Denilson sneakily telling Dunga that he wants a World Cup spot by dribbling about in that jersey? What kind of music does LacePod give you exactly, Cannavaro? And as for Arshavin…breakfast anyone? You’d best watch the ad for yourself… and try not to snort at Materazzi’s take on the role of a Boxer. Che ironia!

We’ve been meaning to publish this great photo featuring Martin Abram, a Gooner from Croatia and Senor Guapo himself, Carlos Vela, for a very, very long time. So since the Gunners are playing United this weekend (oh dear, we got our fingers dipped into the Juve/Lazio and Depor/Madrid instead), here’s his awesome tale of hair gel and sombreros told especially to Futbolita!

“I asked Vela to put it the sombrero on and take a pic with me, but he didn’t want to spoil his haircut. The haircut really looked like he put lots of effort in it, so I didn’t want to ask him again,” said Abram (above), a 22-year-old student from Split.

“Few of us, Croatian gooners, went there (to Arsenal’s preseason). I always liked Mexican players, was so happy that Vela finally came, that was his first time at Arsenal preseason, after his loan at Spain (Celta Vigo), so my friend and I decided to make it special for him. We got sombreros from friends, our friend already had the Mexican jersey, and we were ready to attend every training with the sombreros and we’d applaud Carlos whenever he came, or was leaving training.”

“Not once he forgot to say HI, smile, and ask us how are we, not to say, he never refused to take pics with us, sign whatever we wanted etc. Brilliant lad. But we did some of those stuff to other players as well, its not like we were there just for Vela. We wanted to make everyone feel special, and important for Arsenal.”

Our amigos alerted us to this horrid incident which took place in Angola yesterday, the venue of the African Nations Cup. Tongo’s team bus (carrying the likes of Arsenal’s Oil City’s Emmanuel Adebayor, seen above, being comforted after leaving the hospital) was attacked by gunmen who opened fire and killed the bus driver. Nine other passengers were injured – including the team’s press officer (unbelievable!)

The way the striker explained the frenzied situation really puts you there with him. Said Adebayor : 

“It was as if we were still living in dream. I was the one who had to carry the wounded ones into the hospital. It is these times that you realize that (this was) really happening. Everyone was crying and calling their families. I think that it was the worst time of day.

“To be honest, without the safety (of Angolan military), I would not be here talking. Perhaps you (would be) talking about my dead body. I think many players want to leave, I do not think they want to participate in this tournament more because they have seen death.”

We can only hope that the neighbouring South Africa’s efforts to step up their military efforts will prevent something like this from happening at the World Cup. No one can do anything to prevent separatists or guerrilla trouble-makers from doing what they want to do and there’s no justifying their actions! Querido Deus, por favor… proteja as equipas.

via Reuters, AP

• You and I know that 2010 will be a bloody exciting year for futbol - so if you aren’t counting down to the symphony of vuvuzelas in South Africa already, you’d better start inmediatamente! Happy New Year’s Day, futbolitas.

• Guess who desperately needs to start the year on a clean slate? It’s none other than… Luca Toni! After complaining about  being underused and mistreated by Mistress van Gaal at Bayern, Italy’s Most Awkward striker has now officially joined AS Roma on loan until June 30. Obviously, he’s banking on that transfer to help him get into Lippi’s World Cup squad. Oh for the love of Ranieri, is this man deluded? Someone will have to air courier us a live cactus if Luca gets called up!

• Lookey! Another Brazilian has joined Arsenal on a long-term deal. It’s the U-17 meninho, Wellington and the Gunners have bought him from Fluminense for a cool $10 million. Of course, Wellington is still considered a fetus (much like Coutinho) so he’ll remain in Brazil until he turns 18. And as they say, experience is key so he’ll have to win as much as he can with Fluminense (cue the collective snorts!) before officially becoming Denilson’s BFF in London.

• Yes, you’re looking at specially-commissioned stamps of Zizou in aid of the ELA – a European foundation against Leukodystrophy (a genetic disease which attacks the nervous system). We must say that Zizi resembles the handsome French actor types in these portraits and no, we’re not referring to Gerard Depardieu…. how dare you! Oui, des amis, Zizi’s more like the type who murders the heroine and gets away scot-free in a movie because he’s just so suave. Ah, when did it all come to this, you say? Je ne sais pas!
  



• The man who is capable of causing a fire alarm to set off at a fertility clinic aka Senhor Mourinho has declared that he’s fighting a “lost war” with Italian journalists. Awww, cari colleghi (dear colleagues) – what have you done now?! “I do not feel uncomfortable in this country. When I say I am (not loved) here, I am referring to my relationship with the media. For me, it is the fault of journalists (but) for them, it’s my fault,” he said.”In that sense, I know it is a lost war from the beginning, because journalists are many and I am only one. I lose this war, but not my independence, my way of being politically correct and always saying what I think. But I think with a little more respect we can move on.”
  

via AFP, Abola, Reuters

It must feel pretty damn good to be scoring a brace on Christmas weekend…. just ask Cescy! Elsewhere, Rafael Curly Fries Da Silva managed to earn himself yet another yellow card against Hull City (oi cara, parar de sonhar com vacas ok…) In contrast, the dude needs to stop thinking of that brand new webcam waiting beneath his Christmas tree.

Speaking of Cescy, we found a rather epic photo of the Spaniard trying to convince you that his eyes are indeed magical. So go on now – have a look (and that also applies to you, hombres! Don’t get all shy…)

via Forocoches

Kkk, we know there are many admirers of the GuapoVela here and it’s nice to know that he’s signed a new “long-term” deal with the Gunners. At least there was no Pillowface signing and Carlitos actually put on a nice ensemble for this. Look, Arshavin is obviously the squad’s resident stylist. How else can you explain this?

“I’m very happy to sign a new contract and I’m very excited to be spending more years with Arsenal. I just want to work hard and help this great Club win trophies. I want to stay here for a long time and it’s a great responsibility. I will keep working hard to show the Boss and all the fans why I’m here,” he declared.

Well, they’d better give him more chances to start the games and if you listen to Tio Wenger, then we can all calm down. “Let’s remember, he is still only 20 years-old, so there is still a huge amount to come from this boy. We have invested a lot of time in Carlos, as we put him in Spain for two years to get some good experience,” he said. 

via Arsenalpics, AP

If you can skydive mid-air during a match, then you deserve a special pat on the back from the world’s futbolitas. Arshavin is a fine example of a man you’d like to offer a poisonous periwinkle to – only to feel bad that he’s giving you his best Cat Eye imitation, so you quickly offer him Kellogg’s Froot Loops instead. Yes, we know those skinny Russian Dior Homme model-types don’t eat at all, but Arshavin is clearly not in their breed. He’s way classier than that! He’s the “Where’s the Glamour? This is Vogue, OK?” type of footballer. Shit, tipo can really make it work!

And how did we know? Thanks to our dear amigas at ONTD Football (who unearthed these gems from his personal site), you can now get a glimpse into the world of the Arshavins. Here’s the perfect tourist and father… bringing his son to the Gunners’ games, sightseeing in London and taking photos in the London Eye. Best of all, besides wincing and yelling passionately on the field, he’s got the semi-serious and half-laughing Russian persona that’s perfect for the likes of Anna Wintour. Folks, Let’s lift it Ok?

And in case you were wondering, Lyubov? literally means ‘Love’ in Russian.

via Ontd Football, Arshavin.eu