Fútbolita

Bienvenido, tipoooo! We’re so thrilled to finally see Özilita in the La Liga. The choice of club may not be everybody’s favourite, but at least MouMou has some solid goals for Real in mind and you know he doesn’t care about the politics in the backroom. As far as Senhor Treinador is concerned, Flo Perez is just a fruit seller in all of this.

Said Ozil : “I spoke to my advisers and looked at the options but I always wanted to join the best team in the world, and to play under the best coach in the world, Jose Mourinho,” I spoke to him and he convinced me. What we spoke about will remain between him and me but that’s why I am here.”

Here he is, doing the Obligatory Madrid-Medical Pose! You can’t join the club officially until you agree to a photo with wires all over you! Also, you gotta Ozil’s ghetto get up with the white shoe, ya’ll.

Meanwhile, here is Internacional’s Rafael Sobis with the club flag… as he celebrated their Copa Libertadores win last night! Yes, Nilmar and Pato’s former club defeated Mexico’s Chivas 3-2, and they promptly walked away with the title of Libertadores champions. Parabennns, Internacional fans!

All the Cescy lovers (ooh, snappy!) at Barca must be feeling a little disappointed at the fact that a move back to Catalonia did not materialise. But that’s fine, because Chamakh and him are getting along just fine at Arsenal. Let him spend a few more seasons with the gunners then maybe Pique can do something to convince him of a return!

“I’m sure that someday he will join the club again. Although he is now working in London, he will always remain a culé,” said Pique to El Mundo Deportivo. Yes indeed, who knows?

via Elisa Estrada, Reuters, Gettyimages,

Oh dear, it looks like The Dona’s soap opera has resumed for your viewing pleasure! Take out the popcorn from the micro’ cos it now seems that team director Carlos Bilardo, has refused to rule out a ‘strong possibility’ he might return as coach. What was the whole point of making that speech last week then? His daughters Gianinna and Dalma (above) don’t think it’s very funny!

“If Diego comes and talks, I don’t know what can happen. It’s all a question of talking,” Bilardo declared to Todo Noticias. “The possibility of another meeting (between Maradona and the AFA) exists.” Hold on to your seats!

The next Nando Torres of Madrid aka Sergio Canales has arrived for pre-season in Los Angeles! Bershka just called, and incidentally they are looking for a new spokesmodel. Canales’ electric blue shoes are so ferosha and with Potter Perez signing the boy’s cheques now, he’d be able to get them in five different colours. Que suerte!

Speaking of which, we’re always in Bershka (it’s a fashion store from Spain) pretending to fist pump and picking out clothes for the other Sergio… Ramos. It’s a lot of fun!

The complexity of Kun Aguero Papa’s hair, matching shirts and Cesc Bomb’s half-smile will open up a new investigation among all of you, we’re sure. But what’s equally perplexing is the fact that these tipos will make their own cameos in the fourth installment of the film ‘Torrrente‘. The movie is a Spanish comedy which often involves issues like the police, crime and the mafia.

Obviously, director Seguro knew that that they’d both done some singing and acting (not Broadway, but it’s still something). Sure, Kun’s singing suits the Tone Deaf crowd, but Cesc Bomb’s charm will be selling the tickets in no time!

via Marca, SkySports, David Anchuelo

Apparently, a fraction of uptight Arsenal fans are furious at the fact that Pepe “Party” Reina and Pique the Pout slipped on a Barca jersey on Cesc last night. Ahora… que es una broma! There’s no need to get all offended, especially since he owes a lot to Barcelona for making him the player he is today. What’s wrong with a little joke? They just won the World Cup, so that’s a license in itself to have a little banter!

Anyway, since we’ve got a lot of futbolitas in the house who’re simply in love with La Furia Roja, here’s a bonus video of the FIESTA!

There’s been a lot of talk about Fabregas and an “impending move to Barca” after the World Cup. Now even Xavi has declared that besides the card games and vending machine trips at midnight, the boys of la Seleccion have also been having heart to heart talks!

“I would like him to come to Barcelona, and I have told him so. I have no doubt that Cesc would triumph at Barcelona,” he said.

Anyway, many of us believe that Cesc Bomb will be a regular starter when the World Cup starts. According to former English referee Graham Poll over at the Dugout, he could force his way into la escuadra de partida against the Swiss. Vamos!

Speaking of which, they’d better not let Iniesta and Pujjjjol bunk together, or else….

So you know how the transfer tales have been following good ol’ Fabregas over the last couple of months. From Real Madrid to Barcelona, they just won’t stop talking about the Arsenal crack! Of course, the ever brilliant Crackòvia went to spoof it all complete with a SONG AND DANCE number to none other than the Tom Jones cult favourite. And yes, it features everyone from Florentino Perez and Laporta to Gunners chairman… Peter Hill-Wood!! Brace yourself for CESC ON!

It must feel pretty damn good to be scoring a brace on Christmas weekend…. just ask Cescy! Elsewhere, Rafael Curly Fries Da Silva managed to earn himself yet another yellow card against Hull City (oi cara, parar de sonhar com vacas ok…) In contrast, the dude needs to stop thinking of that brand new webcam waiting beneath his Christmas tree.

Speaking of Cescy, we found a rather epic photo of the Spaniard trying to convince you that his eyes are indeed magical. So go on now – have a look (and that also applies to you, hombres! Don’t get all shy…)

via Forocoches

via Gettyimages

Cescy is disappointed that he didn’t get to start against Belgium but fortunately, este vato has been catching up with episodes of My Little Pony and brimming with positivity. “I would like to play more, but I consider the decisions of Vicente Del Bosque and I respect them,” he said yesterday.

“It is obvious that everyone wants to contribute more, but when you try to take advantage of those minutes (you’re given), you go into the field with the best attitude.”

Indeed – Cescy also warned that no one can intimidate the Gunners or Arshavin’s madcap hair this season – so you’d better watch out. “Clubs try not to let us play our style of football and some use questionable tactics, but we will not be intimidated by anyone.”

Added Uncle Del Bosque : “It’s a pity that after seven wins in seven encounters we still aren’t qualified, and that’s largely because of the pressure from Bosnia.” Spain will play Estonia later today… and these senors only need 1 point to qualify!

Just because the photo makes Cescy look like he’s literally basking in the grandeur of it all, we decided to post it for your enjoyment.

Anyway, Real Mierda are really getting on everyone’s nerves aren’t they? Ever since Harry Potter Perez announced his candidacy to be the club’s president, everyone from monsieur Arsene Wenger to the gardener’s cat has been linked to a move to the Bernabeu next season. But fear not because he’s probably going to ignore Perez’s text messages and naughty gifts on Facebook. No one takes the post of ‘Real Madrid coach’ seriously anymore. It’s like a part-time job. Grandma Juande knows that. Why do you think they found red lace in the dressing room?

On the Arsenal fans, monsieur said : “It makes me feel appreciated and even more regretful that we couldn’t give them what they wanted this season. I am very respectful for their faith in me. It’s very warming and it makes me even more determined to pay them back.”

Why can’t Ancelotti do the same? He’s playing mind games with the fans! But everyone should watch and learn from Mourinho.

Ok, Cescy is getting nervous and it’s raining. Still, if you are like us and refuse to listen to 99% of the people around you, you can still appreciate Arsenal ahead of tonight’s clash against Foreignchester United. At least they have a solid, impressive youth strategy that Real Madrid do not.

“To play football well, you have to be happy to play. It’s not because you say to players that if you don’t do this or that, you will die. That doesn’t make them better players,” said Monsieur Wenger.

“No matter what happens (tonight), I believe this team will make a big impact in the game and that is what we want to continue to develop.”

Fantastique! With that, we eagerly welcome you to tonight’s Champions League semi-final with a picture special. There’s a bonus of Hair Grease and Rafael da Silva (olá, querida!) too. We know, we couldn’t help it.

Quick! Someone get this kid his Fruit Loops or he’ll get pissed!

Anyway, today’s a big day for the Arsenal niños because they will meet Foreignchester United at Old Trafford. They’re the only EPL side we genuinely love so we hope they do themselves proud.

“We have built a young team because we wanted to develop a special way of playing, a special spirit. We think when the players have been educated together from the age of 16-24 there is something special that I hope will come out at this level of the competition,” said Monsieur Wenger.

As a bonus, here are some photos. Fashionista Arshavin’s hair is gleaming in the glorious sunlight – how ferosh!

In the end, friendship is all that matters in football – especially if it involves your fellow countryman. Santi Cazorla and Fabregas obviously knew that following last night’s 1-1 draw between Villarreal and Arsenal.

But let’s not forget Marcos Senna’s beeeeeautiful strike in the 9th minute, from nearly 30 meters out. We nearly choked on our tomatoes at the sight! Credit must go to the Gunners for fighting back in the second half although they made some fouls which were clearly uncalled for. There were also plenty of fast balls and Adebayor’s bicycle kick in the 65th minute was surprising – but highly deserved.

“We tried everything to win the game but it’s true that our level dropped a little after the first half,” Senna said after the game. “Right now, Arsenal have the advantage because they scored an away goal but if we can win there, we will be in the semi-finals. And I believe we can do it.”

Potential high fashion Russian model player, Andre Arshavin, has (apparently) successfully completed a move to Arsenal for £20 million.

Arshavin’s club, Zenit St Petersburg confirmed today that negotiations were in place to see the midfielder at the Emirates stadium, according to the director general of the Zenit, Maxim Mitrofanov (what an exotic name!).

The British press have also speculated that Arsene Wenger had requested for the boardroom to sign Arshavin due to an imminent spell out on the sidelines for Cescy Fabregas. He’ll be available to the squad in February.

Also, Arshavin and Huntelaar will make perfect Christmas elves, admit it! He’s wearing Marcelo’s “ladybird” pink boots too!