Fútbolita

So Boriello decided that he’s had absolutely ENOUGH of the name calling and hair comparisons to Pauly D from Jersey Shore. After a while, you too would like to be taken seriously… especially if your job is to score goals for AC Milan. As Anna Wintour once said…“Where’s the glamour? Let’s lift it!”

Anyway, the Italian Stallion scored a brace against Catania yesterday (in a game which Milan didn’t win, unfortunately) and celebrated by fist pumping like a true guido from the sidelines. Dispiace, amici!! Io non lo dire… and Uncle Fester Galliani, 2-2 is unacceptable!

But of course, the REAL party yesterday happened in Rome where Roma’s 2-1 win over Atlanta means that they are now top of the Serie A table. For the love of Luca Toni… this is a complete turnaround! Mrs. Doubtfire, Claudio Ranier himself, believes that his team is on the way to the Scudetto title. So do not try to mess!

“It’s all to fight for, game after game. There are five left and we have got to play with a great deal of humility,” he declared. “They are all going to be incredibly difficult, but we know the Scudetto is in our hands now. Before we had to depend on the results of others too.”

via Reuters

It looks like zio Ranieri is getting himself all worked up – or rather, excited – over the possibility of the ToniTotti pairing for Roma this weekend against Genova. He even compared the spectacle to Drogba’s favourite film, Avatar! Ok, we made that last bit up about your beloved Diving genius, but whatever you say, Tsu’tey the clan leader is still his twin.

“There are more expectations to see Totti-Toni than (the opening of) ‘Avatar’ itself” said Ranieri. By the way, the film opens to the Italian public on Friday and you know Marcello Lippi already bought his 3-D glasses in hopes of seeing the tribe’s princess in all her blueness. “Let’s hope that the captain recovers (from tendinitis). When he is fit, will talk about how he can play for Roma,” added Ranieri.

One of Argentina’s starlets, Eduardo “Toto” Salvio is set to become an Atletico Madrid player… and yes, he’s touted to be Kun Aguero’s replacement (so that he can finally make that dream move to wherever he wants). Los colchoneros fans must be thrilled!

It cost 8 million to bring Toto to the club (caro, tal vez?) because his former club, Lanús charged EUR 6.8 million and the Argentine Football Association paid an additional 1.2 million euros. The rest will be paid in installments and the player arrives in Madrid on Friday. Toto is probably frantically packing away now, knowing that neither Forlan nor Kun will not be sharing their toothpaste tubes with him!

The Barca Elections are back and while the club’s vice-president, Jaume Ferrer, has declared that he wants to run for position of president this year, Joan Laporta feels “hurt to learn this from the media” instead of from Ferrer directly. “Of course we not limit the choices of anyone to be president and we have already discussed this,” Laporta said.

One interesting addition to the Barca elections if the grand-daughter of the club’s founder itself, Emma Gamper. She will be backing candidate Jaume Guixà, who is also running for presidency. “ Is a great thrill for any (of us) to have the legacy of Joan Gamper in their ranks and I have this privilege,” said Guixa.

As always… here’s a spoof from the Crackovia folks about Sandro Rosell - the club’s former director, who is also running for president. Genial!

via Reuters, El Mundo Deportivo

via Gettyimages

As our dear Roma-crazy amiga said : “I wouldn’t say I’m happy with the team, but it’s good to finally have 3 points! Being le caca is not cool, at all.”

Indeed, Roma’s new coach Mrs Doubtfire Ranieri deserves applause – for today, at least – as he steered the squad to their first win after a long spell of dismal performances. An 89th minute free kick from substitute John Arne Riise was enough to earn them a 2-1 victory over Siena, who were down with ten men. Not the best of starts, but at least it’s something…

Elsewhere, president president Massimo Moratti must be thanking his lucky stars that Inter’s two new signings – Eto’o and Diego Milito both got on the scoresheet to help Inter to a 2-0 win over Parma. Watch Samuel Eto’o's stunning curling shot below…he probably doesn’t mind the fine that comes with removing his shirt!

via Reuters

Ah, we’ve not seen Mrs Doubtfire Ranieri in a long time… but how dare you forget him! Juve’s mighty swords may have dropped him five months ago but he got a new job as Roma’s coach.

He started his career with the I Giallorossi, so we’re guessing it’s a great honour to return as coach. Roma lie at the bottom of the Serie A standings after starting the new season with back-to-back defeats.

“This is a dream come true as I follow a professional journey that began many years ago. I am honoured and convinced I will be able to do and give the best for Roma,” he declared.

Doubtfire signed a two-year deal and he’ll get the chance to play with Philippe Mexès new locks at Siena next Sunday.

Uh, that’s certainly not something to drink to, Mrs Doubtfire! Anyway, we’re sad to announce that Claudio Ranieri has resigned from his post as Juventus coach after two years of service to the team.

“From today, the team will be directed by Ciro Ferrara. Juventus would like to thank Claudio Ranieri for the work he did in the last two years. We would like to wish success to the new coach,” the club announced.

Ferrara is a former defender with Napoli and Juventus and was part of the technical staff that won the 2006 World Cup with Italy. He will now take over as interim coach and attempt to be kind to Del Piero.

As for Ranieri, he needs to find a casting agent presto – preferably for a film involving surviving clowns. It’s a sad day because he was supposed to be in Survivor : Claudio Ranieri with Amauri and Diego, but Juve ruined our entire two-hour pilot special!

A friend once told us about Del Piero and his list of “pornstar girlfriends!” Believable, until we found out he was happily married to Sonia Del Piero.

Anyway, the committed Del Piero thinks Juventus need to play a ‘perfect game’ tonight in order to advance to the next round of the Champions League.

“We played well there a fortnight ago,” he said. “Chelsea played quite a good game and won, we played a very good game but lost. Hopefully we can turn that around on Tuesday night. We have been particularly looking forward to this game and on Tuesday we will have to play the perfect game.”

Actually coach Claudio Ranieri (aka Mrs Doubfire) sounds a little more convincing than his captain.

“The result may be negative at the moment, but it is not terrible. Certainly, we cannot rely only on technical and tactical aspects tomorrow; we need to play with our heart, the desire to win, enthusiasm and passion,” he said.

Claudio Ranieri aka Mrs Doubtfire thinks that the pressure from the Brazilian and Italian press about the issue of ‘nationality’ has not impacted Amauri’s performances on the field.

The Juventus coach said : “This may be something he thinks about (when he’s not playing), but on the field he is always the same. He is having an excellent season and always plays for the team. Amauri is not (distracted). He fought his whole life to be where he is.”

Ironically, Amauri has only scored one goal this year. In the first half of the season, he netted in eleven goals.

Juve’s next game is against Lazio this Sunday and Ranieri is expected to pair Amauri up with Iaquinta (Robin Hood Clone) in attack.