Fútbolita

Is South Africa ready to host futbol’s biggest tournament next year? According to reports in Brazilian newspapers, they have good stadiums, excited fans and roads in “reasonable conditions.” As such, South Africa is closing on a “friendlier note” to host the games, a sentiment that wasn’t the case last year.

However, there are still some serious areas that are lacking, particularly South Africa’s approach towards security, transportation and accommodation. All these factors posed problems to the players, tourists and journalists who came for the competition.

“In South Africa, it is rare to see people walking the streets at night. Even hotel staff recommends that tourists do not leave the hotel on foot at any time of the day. A group of Brazilian journalists found their car surrounded by five bandits who broke the glass of the vehicle and stole the driver’s mobile phone,” observed a reporter.

There are also insufficient hotels and accommodation for travelling fans. For example, more than 15,000 Englishmen travelled to South Africa to see the sport and they couldn’t find places to stay as the hotels had already been taken up by locals and the delegations.

Well, the country still has more than 300 days to improve their policies. We don’t want people killed next year and this looks inevitable!

Ah, there’s so much going on in this photo. Ramos the Raver must learn to let go of Villa. After all, it’s been confirmed that they won’t be teammates at club level next season!

South Africa coach, Joel Santana, however, must quickly sign up for English lessons if he does not wish to incur the wrath of everyone who watches the post-match interviews. “Depois the jugadores tranquilo played very well” is the sentence of the year.

If you didn’t catch yesterday’s Brazil-USA final, where on Earth were you? Even Ashton Kutcher watched the game despite Brazilians telling him to “chupa- lo” (suck it) after Luis Fabiano’s unbelievable two goal comeback! Anyway, here’s some of our observations…

• Parabens and cheers to the USA for a spirited and fantastic performance! They should be proud of themselves for that impressive show in the first half. They took advantage of our weaknesses and deserved to lead at the half-time.

• Ramires and Andre Santos made frequent mistakes and wrong passes to sustain the play. Thank God Dunga got our half-time text and took them out for Dani Alves and Elano. No one can run up and down to support the defenders like Dani can. As for Lucio, he redeemed himself after failing to round up the backline to prevent the opening two goals.
• Luis Fabulooooouso! What more can we say? Unable to shrug off his markers in the first half but he stepped it up in the second. Manos won because they were quick, snappy and capitalized on every chance they got.
• Felipe Melo and Elano clearly cemented their reputations as camera whores while Pato shouted the loudest after receiving the cup. Our amigo Rodrigo was in too much of celebratory mood to celebrate to help Brazilian journos organize post-match interviews!

“(The goal) meant everything to me as it was a difficult season. God only knows what I did. Our first half was sad. We believed in the second half. I can only thank the group for having fought to the end.” – Lucio

Photo Credits : R.Ribeiro, AFP and Gettyimages Sport

Photos courtesy R.Ribeiro

It is with great sadness that we welcome you to Day Fourteen – the last of our Selecao Bootcamp specials! Here’s Robinho welcoming you with the “D” face. Determinação, we mean. He’s probably listening to “Beat It” on his ipod as the man behind mysteriously looks on.

Anyway, it looks like Dopey’s experimenting again as he sent Julio Cesar, André Santos, Lúcio, Luisão, Maicon, Felipe Melo, Julio Baptista, Robinho and Nilmar to the gym yesterday. The other players trained at the Orlando Stadium. Everyone’s excited and calm – even Brazilian football president Ricardo Teixeira dropped by to have lunch with the players. Another round of bingo, anyone?

Later, good old Gilberto Silva tried to explain what sets the manos apart from their counterparts. “Brazilian teams always smile and laugh; it’s important for our football. We’re all mates. We enjoy each other’s company. We try to take that atmosphere and camaraderie and transform it into good football, good attacking football.”

It sucks to play for third or fourth place… but at least you’ll get to enjoy the rest of your ‘trip’ knowing that nothing else can be done. Stable Boy Torres thinks there’s no such thing as ‘favourites’ in the Confederations Cup anymore. Yeah, because Spain were favourites and are now forced to play in the losers pool…

“I think the USA have a good chance of winning against Brazil,” he said. “In moments of great importance, there’s no such thing as favourites.”

Like his captain, Puyolita, Torres maintained that he isn’t thinking about the holidays. God, these Spaniards are too serious. Grab a Kinder Bueno already from Cescy’s backpack!

Torres added : “What matters to me is winning before leaving on vacation.”

Oh Dani Alves, how could we love him any less? His goal yesterday against South Africa was perfeito! Great vision and a lot of thought put into the set piece. Mano knew he had a 80% chance of the ball curling neatly in – and he struck it like it was 1974!

As for the rest of the game, a lot of credit must be given to the South Africans. Joel Santana – whose English still sucks – obviously knew Dunga’s men better than he did. They were all over the field – attacking, defending and running back to counter. Luis Fabiano and Robinho were well taken care of by their markers. Andre Santos had a few good chances with the ball. Kaka had a bad game, but a few decent shots at goal. And Ramires could’ve passed to his amigos on the left instead of going for personal glory. Never waste the ball cara, especially when you’re getting clamped down like planktons by your opponents. PASSE!

Anyway, Dani’s goal was dedicated to his two children – Daniel and Vitoria. The tattoos on his toned body were of their names… in case you didn’t notice. A great celebration indeed! Now they all need to sit down and enjoy the remnants of Kleberson’s birthday cake. The question is, are you ready for Sunday’s Final against the USA?

Goldilocks doesn’t think you should mourn or scream at his team for mysteriously losing out to the USA on Wednesday. Instead, you should all sit down and allow la seleccion to take this as a lesson as they battle for third place in the Confederations Cup.

“We know that in football is like this – one day you are the best but the criticism comes after the first defeat. But we must be prepared and this will help us to us grow. We have to start winning again, secure third place in the Cup and prove we can (beat our opponents),” he said.

“ We are thinking about the holidays, but we must fight to the end.”

Oh Puyolita! We hope that he eventually found a decent hairdresser in South Africa. You know he could work Lady Gaga’s bangs and still look the same.

Quick futbolitas, assess their outfits! What on Earth is Elano wearing? Those painter pants have to be thrown out. Pato’s not doing so well either -  he dresses like one of those pizza/gamer douchebags in SuperBad. Amigo, your jeans are horrible.

Andre Santos and Nilmar are wearing the ‘typical ‘baller’ outfit – fitting white shirts, jeans and white shoes. Kaka is a barbecue dad circa 1997 all over again. Luis Fabiano is ready to kill bees with that outfit and Baptista… honestly?!

Anyway, these photos were taken a few days ago when the selecao went out to enjoy a “day of sightseeing” after their win over the USA. By the way, they buy the weirdest stuff when they go out. Like shampoo, soap and chocolates. Just sayin’….

Photos via Antonio Scorza /AFP/Getty Images

Photos courtesy R.Ribeiro

Sometimes, you can’t help but wonder if Kaka is a grown man. Listening to the Backstreet Boys, laughing like a 5-year-old, and throwing a bag of flour are indications that he is going through the Benjamin Button phase. It can’t be filho Luca, can it? Come on now, BSB?

Anyway, the yellow astronauts (jacket-wearing players) and the other players (in purple bibs) played a practise game at the Ellis park stadium yesterday. Robinho went crazy about defeating Kaka’s team 6-4, comparing the victory to “chocolate.” They also practised penalty kicks yesterday.

“It is a difficult game. We must (play) with humility because they play at home. It will be a very dangerous performance from a great selection (South Africa). They are very excited. But so are we. We want to reach the final,” said Robinho.

It’s only six hours away… and Ramos the Raver is ready to entertain you when Spain take on the USA in the semi-finals of the Confeds! Are you excited, futbolitas?

Anyway, FIFA commissioned a research with pretty interesting results on the Spaniards. Xavi’s passing success rate in the final third of the field came out tops at 80% and analysts confirmed that the Spain star has completed more passes in this key area than any other player at South Africa 2009. The squad has an “unrivalled passing accuracy of 78 per cent.” Even our Brazilian manos come in second at 71.8% per cent!

Uncle Del Bosque – obviously beaming with pride about this fact -  reiterated what the statistics otherwise already proved.

“La Selección relies heavily on its attackers, and our solution was to select midfielders who could both defend and create openings. Luckily for us, players like Xabi Alonso, Xavi, David Silva and Andres Iniesta are among the best in the world in this role.”

Welcome to Day Twelve of the Brazilian Boot camp! You know you’ll MISS this when the tournament ends in a few days… we know we’ll be crying for sure! Josue (above) thinks all this is funny, though.

Anyway, half the squad headed to Virgin Activity Academy yesterday to exercise while the rest went to the Olanda stadium to practise. At the academy, players who featured in the Italy game (including Gilberto Silva, Felipe Melo, Ramires, Kaka, Robinho and Luis Fabiano) did weight lifting and low-intensity aerobic exercises. They were mobbed by fans In Johannesburg, who wanted autographs and photographs.

Also, the Brazilians are loving South Africa so far. “Rarely have I seen a gym that is as well equipped as this,” said the squad’s physiotherapist. “Moreover, based on what I’ve seen so far in South Africa, I can say it is a country that has enchanted me the most. Look, I have visited many countries!” (Ok, ok, we know good PR when we see one.)

Photos courtesy R.Ribeiro

We have a plane to catch in a few hours but our boys come first so let’s celebrate their 3-0 victory over the Italians! Luis Fabulouso’s superb finishing and that rather unfortunate own goal (we felt bad for laughing) means that they’ll meet South Africa for a place in the final on Thursday. The third goal happened so fast that Robinho’s goal celebrations were hard to grasp. On hindsight, it’s pretty mean to celebrate someone else’s loss but nevertheless, you have to admit that the Italians were careless and overwhelmed by Brazil’s pace and counterattack. And Luca Toni upfront (sigh…) never really posed a threat. Time and time again, we wait for him to demonstrate his usefulness to the Azzurri but he always disappoints!

Of course, the fans stole the show again and even with all the face paint stashed in our cupboard, we’d never be as creative as them. In the other game, the USA put up an impressive performance against Egypt which means they’ll meet Spain on Wednesday. Any predictions, futbolitas?

Photos : AFP

Kaka is totally doubting Luis Fabulouso’s ability to carry that weight in that photo above (“Oi, you sure you can take it, tipo?“) Robinho, playing the role of the helpful friend, stepped in for the photo. You know that he was totally flirting with the mujer at the front counter five minutes ago.

Anyway, caras who played against USA on Thursday were at the gym to do muscular exercises yesterday with fitness coach Fábio Mahseredjian. According to the team’s doctor Jose Runco, the guys have been complaining that they’re tired and a ‘special diet’ has been prepared to help them cope with the exhaustion. Elsewhere, in the Super stadium, physical coach Paulo Paixão made sure the likes of Dani Alves, Pato and Elano did extensive work on the field. It’ll be Italy tomorrow – so don’t miss it for the world. Get out of the clubs and run home!

That nina on the left is seeing stars. Look at the way she’s looking at Stable Boy Torres! Better still, she’s holding on to his arm for dear life. Oh what the hell? We’d probably touch his blonde mane first before asking a question but her reaction is epic.

Anyway, the Spaniards met a few fans outside their Bloemfontein hotel yesterday and happily (this applies to Uncle Del Bosque) signed autographs for them. Unforch, Xavi looks like a deer caught in ‘daylights’ while Puyol is frowning again. Sonrisa, hombres!

Photos via AFP

Come on, it’s not like you’d even notice if we wrote anything here. It’s Gangsta’ Gattuso caught with his corti down! It is an epic day – one that should be celebrated with a sizzling pan of prawn olio.

Anyway, Egypt are proving to be the surprise package in the Confeds with their 1-0 win over the Azzurri yesterday. It was never going to be a threat with the highly ineffective Luca Toni as a replacement for Robin Hood’s second man, Iaquinta.

Paul Newman Lippi has declared that his team needs to beat Brazil or die. “We’ve simply got to win. We will try to take the initiative (to win against Brazil).”

He added : “We weren’t very aggressive. We didn’t play like we had planned at that stage. When Egypt started to play and scored, it all unravelled and we stopped playing. We didn’t go for the ball.”

via AFP

Dunga in, Diego Hypolito out?! Based on that photo, he might be the perfect replacement for the Brazilian gymnast. Maybe after the World Cup eh, Dopey? O que acha?

Anyway, good ol’ Felipe Melo open the scoring yesterday in manos’ 3-0 victory over the USA! Senhor has been pretty impressive since earning his call-up to the selecao, so his goal was fully deserved. Robinho and Maicon’s addition to that tally, an improvement in defense compared to the disaster against Egypt and great passing made it (almost) like a walk in the park for us. Even Tim Howard admitted it!

“They’re always going to be the better team, right? It’s just for us about going out and trying to give a good showing of ourselves because the best team doesn’t always win. Today it did. We were overpowered, and sometimes you just come up against Goliath and David doesn’t win.”

Also, gymnast Dopey,  PLEASE START NILMAR AGAINST ITALY!!

Luis Fabiano welcomes you to Day Ten of the Brazilian training sessions! We really love how these manos look with tracksuits…. almost like astronauts on a mission.

Anyway, the squad was divided into two groups yesterday where they practised among one another in a short game. Unfortunately, the yellow astronauts fell to a 4-2 ‘defeat’ in the hands of the green-bib wearing players (who were mostly subs). Gilberto Silva complained that the defenders weren’t doing anything (“Tá muita firula aí atrás!”) while Kaka whined at Miranda to start scoring (“Come on Miranda, go!” he said).

The seleção will meet the USA later today.

Photos : R.Ribeiro

That boy on the right seems to be completely mesmerized by Stable Boy’s lovely hair up there. Wouldn’t you be too if you were standing in the tunnel?

Anyway, David Villa scored the winner for Espana yesterday against Iraq and Xabi Alonso’s quick thinking decisions earned him the Man of the Match award. Just like that, Spain are in the semis of the Confeds!

Photos : Getty Images Sport

Good morning everyone… Felipe Melo is NOT amused!

In day ocho of the selecao’s training session at the Super Stadium, Pretoria, the subs played a game against the Under-17 Super Sport United boys. In case you’re wondering, SSU is a team that competes in the Premier Soccer League of South Africa. The selecao won the mini match 2-0 with goals from Baptista and Nilmaaaaaaar. And as for the players who started against Egypt, they had to run around the field. That’s typically Pablo’s (physical coach) techniques before the ball control and technical work starts again today!

After the training session, the Super Sport kids were praised by the journalists for their agility and ability to handle the game well. Of course, they proceeded to take photos with Kaka, Dani Alves, Pato and Robinho afterwards. Juan’s facial expression…. priceless!

Photos courtesy R.Ribeiro