Fútbolita

Bom diaaaa, amicis! Before you go out there wearing your Juande Ramos bear suit, let’s celebrate Friday with another one of CQC’s all-out “assault” at the Copa do Brasil final (which Santos won, of course). Ya’ll know the hero of the week is Neymar, for scoring for both club and country but Andreoli went to the fans instead and managed to pick out a few ‘superstars’ from that lot.

And as a bonus, here’s a video Macheda walkin’ and talkin’ in the USA without being stopped! This would be completely impossible in some parts of England. Uh-oh… it seems like Americans aren’t feeling the ‘Kiko Kraze’ yet!

While we wait for Crackovia, to make its way back to our screens, Felipe Andreoli and Oscar Filho from CQC are ready to show you just how louco the Corinthians and Palmeiras fans can be in CQC! In this video, they ‘face-off’ against the other, yell at overenthusiastic fans, freeload on the food and best of all, they don’t even spare the players in the post-match mixed zone.

Admittedly, we do miss the best sketch shows to have ever come out of Spain, so here’s a little bit of Crackovia – featuring a brilliant Pep Guardiola to keep you wanting more! Best of all, it comes with subtitles. Enjoy.

Bem-vindo to the Friday CQC Club! Today, we have another zany clip of Fabregas kissing a Spanish male reporter (classic) and a recent one of Felipe Andreoli at the Deco/Messiah event which was all the rage in Brazil last week. Fabregas pulled a IkerBonero, planted un beso on him and the CQC reporter instantly fell in love!

It’s been a bizarre week. Yesterday, an Australian dude admitted to us that he was “physically attracted“ to the Spanish team. Ooo, ésa es la verdad!

BEM-VINDO to the Friday CQC Club! In this episode, our favourite Brazilian reporter Felipe Andreoli approaches Franz Beckenbauer like they’ve been hanging out for the last century or so and hunts down all the Brazilian ministers and former players, including Bebeto and Cafu in South Africa!

Watch out for the part when Andreoli tells Beckenbauer : “You know President Lula? He’s also known as President Calamari!” (which is true – Lula translates to ‘squid’ in Portuguese!)

In this other video, Kaka tries his best to stay patient and strike impossible poses – featuring a globe – for a magazine cover. Seriously, all the guy wants to do is to sleep in with Baby Luca! We’ve also discovered a fair amount of Kaka haters this month, so as usual, they can just proceed to the LEFT.

Happy Friday… aka the best day of the week! Our favourite journo from CQC, Felipe Andreoli, seems to be missing in action these days so all the spotlight has been going to Rafael Cortez and his footballer interviews. Here he is quizzing Robinho about everything from the selecao to choosing between United and Santos and even the way he pronounces his name with a “Rrrrrobinho”. Speaking of which, the whole CQC crew had better be heading to South Africa, or Brazilian TV will die of boredom!

Also, the other video that is sure to get everyone amused is this Crackovia parody of MouMou, winning the Champs League and getting into a little kerfuffle with Moratti. Look out for the song and dance number towards the end of the clip. It’s what legends are made of!

So here’s Neymar trying to joke around with the CQC host, Rafael Cortez. And it could only mean one thing… the return of the much loved Friday CQC Club!

The gang from the Brazilian TV show was in Rio earlier last week to catch the official ‘convocation’ of the selecao Brasileira. Of course, what’s CQC if they don’t storm halfway during training or wait outside player shower rooms (in this case, Robinho’s?) todos eles são os melhores!

It’s been a while since we had our Friday CQC Club, in honour of one of the craziest shows around. In this episode, the Dutch reporter attended a Milan game at the San Siro, went a little crazy and spoke to Clarence Seedorf about being called the ‘panther’. Meanwhile, Huntelaar did not stop to talk to our poor vriend – his own countryman – over here at all. What a douche! Disculpe, but Overrated is the word here.

Felipe Andreoli and Rafael Cortiz of CQC are back! And this time, they went out to wreak havoc in Cape Town, the venue of the World Cup draw. As usual, these folks are muito louco and simply brilliant. You must see how they chased (and made fun of) the likes of Beckham, Figo, Carlos Bilardo, Dunga, Cafu and everyone else who had the misfortune (or fortune, perhaps!) or being stopped by them at the red carpet.

Beckham probably received the best treatment out of the lot. “You are very beautiful, very beautiful (but) I have a problem – my girlfriend loves you more than me!” declared Cortiz to the English player. Becks replies : “I really don’t know what to say.” Meanwhile, Andreoli told Becks at the red carpet : “Here’s a gift from Brazil (hands over a flag). This is good luck for England – because you know, we always win.”

The best part has to be when they stopped the ministers and political figures at the red carpet. Andreoli told the Switzerland contingent : “You should ask for Federer, he’s a good player!” and everyone stopped to laugh. Later, he attempted to give Argentina’s Carlos Bilardo (aka The Dona’s best friend) a bottle containing his piss (well, supposedly, of course…)

Meet Monica Lozzi, one of the crazy hosts of CQC whom we love because totally in-your-face! Check her out in this video with fellow reporter Danilo Gentili as they attended last weekend’s Brasileirao games (Goias/Sao Paulo and Corinthians/Flamengo). Besides the crazy fans, look out for the part where Monica hugs the Sao Paulo players (especially Hernanes) to comfort them for their loss! Fantástico!

• That’s The Dona’s son, Diego Sinagra and not a reincarnation of Wolverine, mind you. He demands that you give his papa all the respect in the world! “He was brutally attacked. Qualifying for the World Cup is his victory. My father deserved it as well as the rest of the nation. Of course, the football team can and must improve, but players like Messi are back to what he was before. I’m sure my father will bring great joy to the people of Argentina,” he declared. By the way, Diego Jr’s mother is Cristina Sinagra, a Neopolitan woman whom The Dona had an affair with when he was at Napoli. And no, he probably doesn’t get text messages from The Dona’s favourite son, Kun Aguero. Qué triste!




• Uh-oh.. it has now emerged that Riquelme is in talks to move to Corinthians! No surprise there, he said so himself earlier this year. Corinthians’ President, Andres Sanches said : “I will not deceive spectators and say that Riquelme has (already joined). Once we are endorsed by the investor, we will start negotiations with the club and player. For now, there’s nothing.”
• It was Del Piero’s 35th birthday yesterday, and they still love him despite his injuries. That’s the mark of a true captain! Trezeguet says “Hmmmm”.



• Last but not least, we can’t say adieu without a little CQC and Andreoli loconess. Here’s Futbolita’s Favourite Host at Sorin’s last professional game against Argentino Juniors last week. From daring them to eat a peach to asking the trainer and players in the dressing room politically incorrect questions, ele é um gênio!

Photos via La voce di Napoli & Reuters

Ei futbolitas, many of us may be familiar with the louco Brazilian CQC gang (even Felipe Andreoli officially knows how much nós adoramos!) In case you happen to be living under Fabio Capello’s rock, it’s a politically-incorrect current affairs programme that stands for ‘Caiga Quien Caiga’. You can still catch up with their madcap antics… no sienten miedo.

Anyway, perhaps you’ll remember The Dona’s visit to Inter’s camp earlier this year when Mooourinho couldn’t help but ask for an autograph. Well, Miguel Rocha from CQC Portugal went stalking the Argentinean around the Giuseppe Meazza and posed absurd questions to Hernan Crespo, which were met with equally classic one-word answers. “I invite you to come play for Portugal, OK?” he said to which Ragdoll Crespo nodded! Special guest appearance from Ibracadabra included.

So we all know that Rio will be hosting the 2016 Olympics… but the man of the moment has to be Felipe Andreoli, the host of CQC, a popular TV show in Latin America and parts of Europe (you may remember this Chilean tipo teasing players at the Bernabeu). As for Felipe, he went around chasing the Brazilian contingent with an obscene photo of Pelé, shared the ‘good’ parts of Rio with other delegates, cut an onion to make himself cry to get a hug from President Lula and went on a separate mission to give a number 13 shirt to Obama. In all, eu amo esse programa!

(Muito obrigada por isso, Mari!)