So the million dollar question for you Greaseañies today is – WOULD YOU TAP THAT? Well, mano looked pretty clean cut at at the launch of his “I’m wearing this for the World Cup” Nike boot launch yesterday. And the Portugal jacket looks ridiculously comfortable (almost like the blue/white selecao bootcamp ones!) Anyway, he also revealed that he speaks to Kaka a lot because they understand a common language and they both share hope for a Brazil/Portugal final on July 11. Você acredita? (do you believe?)

Here’s another brilliant Crackovia episode again – this time featuring two Barca presidential candidates on their way to watch Barca play Stuttgart. Nunez and Gaspart approach the counter to purchase a ticket at the airport – but Nunez is taken aback at the price. You’ll love his classic reaction!

We were surprised at Senhor Julio Cesar’s poor eye injury last night. It kinda reminded us of Rustu Recber, the intimidating Turkish goalkeeper who happens to be our amiga’s favourite goalie of all time – don’t ask. Anyway, it’s high time we applaud the Inter manos for their hard work – particularly Lucio, who has been hailed by the Brazilian press for his performance against Chelski last night. Also, what a stunner from Diegol…. and Cambiasso!!

via AFP, Reuters, tv3

One upon a time, before the grease, step overs and the Jersey Shore Makeover, Greaseaño was a shy young lad. “Este menino tem potencial,” said a deep voice in his head while he was filing his nails in Madeira. Alas, today that young boy has turned into an exquisite creature – one who quickly morphed into a tipo legal in our books after a nice 1am phone conversation. There’s no point being in denial, futbolitas. You will discover it someday too. Also, in our opinion,  Greaseano remains one of the most professional “jugadores” to date. So today, quickly pick up all the spray tan cans you can find and sing: “Feliz Cumpleañossssss!!!”

“Quien es mas guapo…. quien tiene mas sex appeal? Cristiano, tu Cristiano! Pim Pam Pim Pam…”

Ya’ll have to admit that Bruno Oro does a pretty awesome Greaseaño Portuglish accent in Crackòvia! (thanks Elliot) It’s almost impossible not to laugh. If the Madrid boys are watching (not quite possible since this is shown on Catalan TV.. but there’s the interwebzzzz!!) they’d probably be cringing like pájaros locos. Well, especially Kaka.

Anyway, in this episode, Guti, Sergio Ramos, Potter Perez and Greasey wonder about the ’secrets’ behind forming a team that is capable of destruction i.e. spreading a ‘riot’ to the rest of the world. Guti’s fur jacket has a life of its own!!

After weeks of rally and support, it has now emerged that River Plate’s promising midfielder, Diego Buonanotte may be discharged from the hospital in two days following his horrifying car accident which claimed the lives of his three friends.

“He’s a very peaceful guy, he’s not a “night-man” and he was not drunk. It was a tragedy, his friends died and nobody expected that. He was so sad and I couldn’t believe it. I hopes he can get over this and find peace in his life,” says a River Plate futbolita, Sabrina, 18 from Buenos Aires.

“Everything went as planned for the operation. Now, we can only wait for his recovery,” said Pedro Hansen, River’s medical chief. As they say in Argentina, Fuerza Diego!

Meanwhile, Greaseano has hit back at Osasuna fans who yelled vulgarities at him at Real’s last game, including the evergreen “hijo puta es” and “Cristiano muérete!” It’s rare to want to be on his side, but this time, we must say that he gets the last laugh.

“Being made unwelcome (during matches) is normal to me. I’ve been there many times in England and ended up being voted the best player in the world.” Ouch!

Look who scored in Milan’s 5-2 thrashing of Genoa last night? The Italian Stallion, himself, Boriello…. and (brace yourselves), Huntelaar! All we can say is they both did a good job of covering for Pato while he was out spreading garlic butter with Sthef. As for Huntelaar, scoring via penalty doesn’t constitute much, but it’s still a goal and unless you do something else, no one is going to be very impressed. At least he did better than The Dinho, who failed to convert a spot-kick… but listen, Thiago Silva scored too OK?

Il Davide featured in the game too (of course) and Leonardo said he “trained in all positions” due to the unexpected injuries prior to the game. So how do things look for Juventus this weekend, then, uomini?

via Reuters, Wenn & Ole

• What’s with the Wolverine look? He looks 91 instead of 19… tipo needs a razor blade. Now! Unfortunately, Milan only managed a 1-1 draw against Marseille last night. The good thing is that Boriello scored (and has been doing a great deal of that lately). As a result, we’ve been left to eat our own words… è triste.
  
  “I am very relaxed and above all happy to be playing again, as six weeks ago I was in the stands,” declared Boriello. “Now I am playing, scoring goals and since I came back the team hasn’t lost a game. It’s great to feel the faith of the fans and the Coach. I can hear they call my name more when I step on to the field.” Alas, they were actually yelling “Boboboring…!”

• Meanwhile, Rafaella Fico’s boyfriend (according to her), the Greaseano himself, made his long-awaited return to futbol last night against FC Zurich. Yes, rapaz is desperately in need of a tan but everything else looks in place. The Pied Piper of Higuain scored the only goal last night and as usual, it was a beauty. Oi Pellegrini, forget Raul The Great One… start Pipita in all the games with Benzema!

• Remember when Cirque du Soleil welcomed The Dinho backstage a few months back? Well,  Nene, the Brazilian striker from Monaco was also recently invited backstage to hang out with the performers from the awesome circus troupe. Said the former Palmeiras man : “I met four Brazilians who work as artists and coordinate the show. They complimented me and said they are very happy that a Brazilian is the top scorer of the French Championship.” Clowns are the best!!
  



via marabelo (Youtube), Reuters & Globo

“I don’t believe I will watch the World Cup on TV. I will be in South Africa because we will qualify. We’ve improved since the qualifiers, but it’s not easy. “I don’t play in all positions, so the bad form is not because I am not there. It is impossible to have a team at the top all the time; every team has its bad moments.”

Photo via AP

Our eyes!! Sálvanos! Our friends here want you to pay attention to the Crease on the Grease in this picture …. can you see it? Many of you chicas may be wondering why we had to put you through the pain of Greaseano Watching two weekends in a row. Yes, it’s sad but he makes it so easy for us, sometimes. In a span of a few days, we’ve established that 1) he can’t sing, 2) cries for love 3) enjoys getting his feet massaged 4) is loved by Peruvian witch doctors and 5) can’t wear his shorts properly. Amazing!

Anyway, tipo over here is posing in what appears to be his Castrol Ranking spot. He looks amazingly annoyed to be in third place, and although Titipo Henry and The Messiah both preceded him in by coming in first and second respectively, Kaka ended up in 85th place. That’s absurd! One more thing – Milan’s Christian Abbiati was hailed as the “best performing goalkeeper of the last 12 months”. For someone who conceded 27 goals in 28 appearances, that does not make sense. Dammi il pane… now.

via Gettyimages

So Your Lady of perpetual Grease is enjoying a feet massage and earning £16000 a minute, just by just sitting there and being a Douche. Ok, não se zangue, he’s just recuperating and according to los blancos, he’s focused on “getting rid of (his) bone edema (injury) by lymph drainage, a process used to alleviate the damaged zone.”

“My ankle no longer hurts, I think I am ready to play,” he declared. Also, he wants to play the return leg of the Milan-Madrid game at the San Siro on November 3. Oh yes, they do need him now, do they?

In addition, Greaseano has been doing contrasting exercises in cold and warm water in the pool and has been at the gym toning his muscles. Meanwhile, his Amor Mio Raffaella Fico is nowhere to be seen (that’s not her fo’sho). And if you haven’t seen the edited version of his musical masterpiece yet, watch it below. Our housemates are throwing frisbees on the door for having it on loudspeaker. Ayuda!!!!

Fotos de David R.Anchuelo

Move along now pessoas, there’s nothing dodgy about Messiah’s Barcelona contract. So stop flashing him mean, accusatory looks!

Apparently, FIFPro weren’t too happy about Senor Laporta and his bow-tie wearing ways. They’re questioning the validity of the contract, which binds tipo here to the club till 2015. Are you kidding? We’ll be 92 years old by then.

“The renewal contract (Messi) was held in full compliance with state labor law and in accordance with Article 18.2 of the Regulation on the Status and Transfer of Players from FIFA, which allows employment contracts longer than five years where, as in this case, the local law permits,” said the club.

Barca folks have also stressed that the contract “strictly respects the law and, more specifically, the provisions applicable arising in relation to duration of contract and unilateral termination clause.”

And with that, we invite the world’s best vocalist, Greaseano Gaga, to sing for ya…

Well, it looks like Greaseano was badly missed in Madrid’s first 2-1 defeat of the season to Sevilla. We like it that they’re finally losing because Potter Perez needs to know that he cannot assemble a perfect squad with his moneda. Still, you know he’s at the golf course with Jorge Valdano now, enjoying a club sandwich on a lovely summer day!

Anyway, Jesus Navas and Renato both scored for Sevilla and Fabulousoooo is muito feliz. “We played really well and are on a roll at the moment,” he enthused. “If we continue playing like that we can compete with Real and Barca at the top.” Meanwhile, Madrid committed mistakes in their set pieces and were paid to pay for it in the 66th minute. Kaka acknowledged the loss and said, “We knew we would lose at some stage. We were beaten by a good team and we need to improve some things.”

Well, ya’ll know that Sevilla should not be messed with and it’ll be nice to see them emerge as La Liga’s surprise package this season. They’ve been underperforming in the last few seasons and perhaps, all this could change... correcta?