Tchau BRASIL! Looks like my previous friendly banter with The Dutch Futbolita may become reality…

Is it just me or has this World Cup been full of the most WTF moments in recent memory, or what?! Reigning champs Italia finishing last in their group, Germany losing to Serbia, USA classifying first… not to mention the most painful of all: Spain losing their first match…

But we’ve done it-we’ve finally made it to the quarterfinals. Things were looking scary (read: embarrassing!) with our loss to Switzerland, but menos mal, we’re in!

In Spain’s third edition of the Battle of the Hispanophones, we take on Paraguay in the Quarterfinals as we vie once step closer to the final match on July 11th.

Paraguay, or the Italia Sudamericana as the Spanish press is calling them, has shown to be very corrosive against teams they are not comfortable playing against. In their first match against the reigning champs, the Paraguayans were able to force a draw by matching Italy for possession of the ball.

If pressed, Paraguay will try to extend the field of play with long crosses and take advantage of free kicks to get past Casillas. Furthermore, Spain should watch for the Paraguayan counter-attack.  Roque Santa Cruz is without a doubt the best on the team, but for what it’s worth, I think Cardozo and Benitez are pretty good too. However given that Benitez plays for Pachuca, he lacks the experience of playing European style football-aprovéchalo España!

El Guaje has proven again and again that he is the star of the La Roja offensive this World Cup. He will no doubt continue to be, but his teammates will certainly add shine to his star power. Let’s not forget-praise Iker!-Spain has only conceded two goals so far this tournament. Let’s hope Casillas can continue to hold the hope of a nation in his capable hands. Torres also has to continue working to creating holes for Villa, as the Madrileño has the speed-on a good day mind you-to blow past defenders. You just know he is dying to get a goal of his own though this tournament. Like Samson, I blame his goalless streak on his new haircut. Note to El Niño: Sergio Ramos is having and will continue to have a great World Cup effort AND he still has all his luscious long locks, vale?

I still think using Fabregas to shake things up late in the match is working great, but El Gran Bigote del Bosque shouldn’t be wait to drop a Cesc-bomb until the 80th minute. Perhaps as soon as the 55th minute? Same goes for Silva and Llorente. Hell, why not really blow the Paraguayan defense away and put Torres in at the 70th minute?

IF we go to penalties (boring!), I think the kickers for Spain should be:

Villa (you shall be forgiven for your miss against Chile, te lo prometo)
Torres
Xavi
Xabi Alonso
Iniesta

Let’s hope it doesn’t come to this.

Following some crazy, crazy times at the Bernabeu (cops taking away my beer in Spain? RUDE!) and difficulty finding a bar with authentic ambiance, I really have no clue where I’ll be watching this match. In my porra with my friends, I had bet we’ll win 3:1… vamos a ver, ¡Vamos España!

"Batalla de los muslos" between Pujjjjol, Greaseano and Villa! / via AFP

All week long it’s been wet and rainy in much of [allegedly always] Sunny Spain—perhaps one last ja! ja! from the weather gods before the unrelenting hot hot heat of a Madrileño summer—but that hasn’t stopped Madrid from becoming swept up in the storm of World Cup madness. Newspaper kiosks on every corner are selling la bandera Española for 1€ a pop and even Burger King has Spanish scarves on offer.

But with every World Cup that comes, we are reminded that Spain has suffered its share of heartbreak and disappointment—Michels’ “gol fantasma” in Mexico ’86, pobrecito Enrique’s broken nose in USA ’94 and the disallowed goals in Japan-South Korea ’02. For years Spain has been synonymous with underachievement and disappoint on the global playing field. However for the first time in recent memory, it seems the whole world is finally looking to Spain to win the World Cup—but ask anyone here what they think of la Selección Española’s chances are of finally bringing the Copa Mundial home after it has eluded us for years, and chances are it will be answered with typical Spanish circumspect character:

Says Juan of Madrid, quoting Deus Dixit of Manifiesto Futurista, ¡En pie sobre la cima del mundo lanzamos una vez más el reto a las estrellas! [Roughly translating to, Spain is at the top of their game at the moment, but once again we face the challenge of the other Soccer Superstars of the world.] Juan went on to say that he believes Spain to have the best team they have ever had, but hesitates when asked if Spain are the favorites—”nobody can say it’s going to be easy, nor has it already been decided.”

Jesús, also of Madrid, counters with: “I see Spain as weak—in the Selección Española there are very good players, but together as a team? I do not know how they’ll work together…” It goes without saying that Jesús later confided that he is not much of fútbol fan. Duh.

So how has Spain shaken this so-called perennial underachiever tag? Besides winning the Eurocup in 2008—our first major award in over 40 years—many point to the “Generation Barça”—players who currently play for Barcelona or have gone through the ranks of FC Barcelona’s cantera

Being the staunch Real Madrid fan I am, my cule primo cheekily asked, “Is your joy going to be ruined at all knowing it’s FC Barcelona winning for Spain?” To which I think I can speak for all of Spain when I say, “Barcelona, Madrid, wherever—we are all united during the World Cup.” Even Xavi agrees, proclaiming he is not just of Barcelona and will dye his hair the resplendent colors of the Spanish flag if Spain does indeed go on to win the World Cup. While I feeeeel Spain, I’ll stick to showing my love with my freshly painted yellow manicure.

In other Spain news, the prodigal son El Niño Torres has returned! Cannot wait to see the yin-yang of the strike force of Torres and David Vill, tempered by the ebb and flow of passes from Xavi and the infamous Spanish midfield. The rumored XI to start:

Villa-Torres
Busquets-Xabi Alonso-Xavi-Silva
Ramos-Piqué-Puyol-Capdevila
Casillas

How, pray tell fellow futbolitas, does that rank up in your ideal La Roja line-up?

So where do I plan on watching this first game? Good question. Will the match be broadcast on a giant screen at Plaza Colon in Madrid as it was done during the Eurocup 2008? I’ve called the city councils, I’ve called the television channels and I’ve called the press offices, only to be answered with the irresolute “I dunno.” Thanks for nothing.

Well one thing I DO KNOW for sure is, come Wednesday June 16th, you’ll find me wearing my CultZeros Fútbolita camiseta, waiting with baited breath at 15:59, ready to cheer on La Roja as they finally put to rest the underachiever tag with éclat.

¡A por ellos!

Here we go again with the “Villa al Barça!” talk again, except that there are substantial facts to back up the rumours. Yes, El Guaje has apparently passed his medical examination at the club headquarters and his transfer fee apparently cost 50 million euros. Ka-ching to Valencia!

According to the Catalan press (fuentes muy fiables or very-reliable-sources!) Villa will be unveiled officially as a Barca player on Friday afternoon. It’s a mini el clasico, if you think about it, because everybody wants to watch the CL final at the Santiago Bernabeu… but the Grand Reveal will be at the Nou Camp! Nevertheless, every top flight footballer must play for either Barca or Real at some point of their careers. Es este el momento para Villa?!

via Blaugranas & El Mundo Deportivo

Amazing! This is where Iniesta, Puyolita, Pique the Pout, tio Del Bosque, Ramos the Raver, David Villa, Xavi etc will bunk at during the World Cup in South Africa. Looking at the beauty of it, you’d half expect an angel to float out with a tray of donuts. Visitors can also expect Bobojan to sleepwalk in the middle of the night (oh, please call him up Del Bosque!) and probably a mini Kinder Bueno vending machine for Cescy. There has to be a mud spa somewhere in there…

Meanwhile, the Argentineans will be basking in the sunlight with baskets of empanados in the University of Pretoria! The Dona chose a slightly more educational setting to set up base, because well, you know, the Messiah probably whispered it to him in passing. Kun asked for one nearer to the discotheques and as we speak, millions of students are applying to do their exchange at University of Pretoria! (In case you haven’t seen Brazil’s...)

Photos via Globoesporte

The Messiah struck again in last night’s demolition of Valencia and for the record, David Villa no iniciar el juego. Of course, how can you possibly deny this man (on the pitch, we mean!) Winning 3-0 was largely thanks to his hat-trick but the very charming Senor Valdes also delivered when they needed him most. Buen trabajo, tipos! On a note, Titipo Henry deserves a standing ovation for pulling his shorts like that. Spandex, anyone?!

“During the first half we have been comfortable, but then the circumstances of the side and the merits of our rivals, with Messi captivating the audience, swung the balance in their favour,” said tio Unai Emery.

via Reuters, Gettyimages, El Mundo Deportivo

Yes dear amigas, we had the honour of speaking to a Futbolita Favourite : Senor David Villa himself last Friday! And he knows about all you passionate chicos & chicas and spoke about everything about La Seleccion to his two adorable daughters Zaida and Oyala. Here are excerpts from our interview with him including bits on his love for Valencia and Nando Torres. As usual, we’ll post the full version later. Esperamos que os guste!

On Futbolitas 

“I think it’s wonderful to see more women attending matches every time. Football is a universal sport for both men and women. I think women are very passionate when they are encouraged (to play) on the pitch so it’s also positive for us.”

On his Family & La Seleccion

“I would love for my daughters to come along and see me at the World Cup but that is not possible. Olaya only turns one in the summer and I don’t think it’s good for them to travel so far just to watch me. But I still dedicate every goal I score to them and my parents might come and watch me in South Africa.”

“I think Spain (is in) a tough group as all other groups. When you go to the World Cup final phase, there is no easy group and no easy opponents. We’re playing a few games within a short time and will have to do very well to beat any team. Hopefully, we can win and achieve something important!” 

 On his David Villa Camp

“It’s one of my personal projects. To me, education is very important to children. So from day one, I wanted to build a campus, where we can educate children on the values of coexistence, respect and solidarity. This year marks the third year and we have many people from all around Spain and even abroad,” he explained.

On Loving Valencia

“I only have good things to say about Valencia and its people. I have been here in this city for five years and from day one, I was received with open arms and the fans have shown me their affection every day,” he said. “So yes, they make me feel at home and it is true that this is my second home. I just want to show my appreciation by putting in my best efforts.”

Photos via Reuters & AP / Interview © Futbolita

“I think against an opponent who have played some good matches so far, we’ve been very focused and very compact in defence and attack. Furthermore, after the sending off and 2-0 in our favour, we were able to stay on top,” declared Senor Unai Emery.

As a bonus, here’s Albelda with his mujer, Vicen!

via Reuters, AP

Look, even David Albelda can’t help himself from smiling for the cameras! And you can’t really blame him, after Los Che battled back from a goal down to win this away match against Athletic Bilbao last night. Goals by Villa and Mathieu cancelled out 16-year-old Iker Munain’s strike (the young striker is a cross between the Pique and Torres breed, in case you were curious and even if you were, shame on you for checking out jailbaits).

Also, Queridos futbolitas, everyone loves The Villa at Valencia, so if all goes as planned, he’s all set to be a One Club man ala Raul The Great One. Ignore the calls from distant lands, tipo! We can’t imagine him elsewhere. The only image in our minds of Villa is the exact same one portrayed in that photo above…. where he’s smiling blissfully in a sea of sunflowers.

Roma wins Il Derby Capitolino

We thought Juventus’s Chiellini was the real Phantom of the Opera, but damn, De Rossi has the moves to pull it off! Anyway, Roma’s fans will definitely be celebrating their victory over their fiercest rivals, Lazio in the city today. Their ultras went berserk again – letting off firecrackers and fighting in the stands, but like the Messiah (below), they all wanted to see the Opera.

Nevermind that – Marco Cassetti’s only goal was enough to secure all 3 points for Totti’s side. Even he couldn’t help himself during the celebrations by taking off his shirt – but Cassetti went one step further by knocking down the advertising billboards. Dude, ti credi di essere cool? (dude, you think you’re cool?!)