Fútbolita

“Now everybody step aside, Guti is coming through!” were the instructions at the Ataturk Airport in Istanbul last night. Everybody at Besiktas had been waiting nearly a year to welcome him and his tattoos, so can you really blame the human scrum? It was a mini-show of its own! Guti knew he had to wear the shirt moments after clearing immigration. With the “finally, I’m outta Spain… look what I’ve gained!” look.

Of course, news that he had chosen to leave the Madridistas hardly came as a surprise. He has been pushing to leave the club for a while now and stated that he did not want to play in Spain any longer. Now the Gutes can have the finest kebabs in the world and visit all these exotic sites... Life is so unfair!

Ok, we’re only posting this photo because the fabulous Cristianeeee is in it! But as always, the big news in women’s football today belongs to Marta “O Melhor” who has joined FC Gold Pride in the USA. She was formerly a player of Los Angeles Sol (where she did those awesome appearances with Kobe) but sadly, LA Sol’s potential new owners backed out at the last minute as a result, their players had to look for other teams. Unfortunately, no one resembling Roman AbramoRich stepped up to the plate. Anyway, ya’ll know Marta will continue to rock wherever she plays! Ela é incrível!

The Spanish tabloids caught up with Guti at some event where they asked him one of the Cheesiest Questions Alive aka “Do you feel like falling in love (again)?” Con toda seriedad, who asks that?! Even your toes are cringing… admit it. Anyway, equally cheesy Guti answered the journalist: “Who does not (like it)? Not you?” Oh damn, where’s CQC Brasil when you need them? You know they would’ve said something classic about falling in love with his eyebrows….

Anyway, the background to all this is that Guti and his wife, Arancha are divorced with two kids. Since then, he has been linked to a bevy of mujers including university student, Paula, Spanish actress Amaia Salamanca and someone he was photographed with in Miami. Apparently, the girl just wanted The Fame, like Gago Gaga. “I met her, we (were together) for a few days and she seemed like a good girl, but wanting to be rich or famous with a picture of me is ridiculous,” he said. Pim Pam Pim Pam!

via FC Gold Pride, Hola

So Potter Perez and amigos held a Christmas luncheon for the entire Real Madrid family (that includes their basketball players) earlier this week. There was a lot of mingling, laughing and plastic smiles (check out Jerzy Dudek above – does that face scream uneasiness or what?!) Anyway, cocktail was served and Perez also gave a speech to the whole room.

Of course, the best part was when he said this : “You will rest for a few days now and you will have time to think about next year, which will be tough. You must never forget that it is the Club’s Members who rule here. They accept defeat as long as you give your all on the pitch or on the court.”

Immediately, you can visualize the door flying open and a gust of cold wind filling the room! “It is the Club’s Members who Rule Here” will be the only line in Guti’s head as he prepares to fly to Ibiza for the 40,230th time this year.

---

Unless you’ve been busy trying to break into Kun Aguero’s bachelor pad, you’d probably know that Italy’s most well-loved political figure (ha-ha) and Milan’s resident clown, Botox Berlusconi, received a fractured nose and broken teeth thanks to Facebook. Or maybe not…

Both Clarence Seedorf and Thiago Silva went to the San Raffaele hospital (above) yesterday to visit the Prime Minister – and he was apparently thrilled to see them. Damn, Gattuso would’ve been the perfect visitor! (“Primo Ministro, il naso sta cercando un po ‘strana” he would’ve said, which translates to “Prime Minister, your nose is looking a little weird.”) Milan also celebrated their 110-year anniversary yesterday and everyone gathered at the Bagatti Valsecchi Palace to celebrate. Lovely!

Lastly, check out Raver Ramos posing as Aladdin for Spanish portal, Ana Rosa. They completely forgot to cast Alfio Basile as Ursula (The Little Mermaid), Hulk as Hulk… or Julio Baptista as… the beast. Then again, it’s 100% made up of Spanish celebrities so all is forgiven. Money from sales of calendar will go to social projects in Nicaragua. If you want a piece of June’s pin-up boy, then you know what to do!

via AFP, Real Madrid & Ana Rosa

So here comes Higuain, looking as suave as ever on the streets of Madrid. Lovely…! Anyway, the Madridistas all came together to attend Guti’s dinner celebration that the Fallen Favourite held to honour his “14 years at the club in the number 14″ on Wednesday. Raul The Great One couldn’t attend it because he had to be with his wife, Mamen, who is expecting her fifth child. Greaseano gave it a miss too because he was experimenting on the effects of Clear Shampoo on Mama Dolores’s new pet poodle. Kkkkk, the truth is his ankle injury is still being a bitch so he stayed at home cutting vegetables.

Nevertheless, everyone else (who was important to Guti) came and that included Iker Casillas, Kaka, Sergio Ramos, Xabi Alonso, Raul Albiol, Pepe, Karim Benzema, Marcelo, Arbeloa, Lass Diarra and (gasp) Gago. According to the gossip rags, no one stayed up late to partaaaay because of the morning training session they’re having today. Yeah right – you can bet Gago went to Pacha to look for Pellegrini.

Disculpe but Wedgiellas looks like a washed-out 72 year old David Hasslehoff clone…

Images via Hola

My my, The Figos look absolutely perfeito in that photo snapped in Paris last week! In many ways, it’s good that the Portuguese midfielder decided to retire from football completely… He could teach dear Guti below a thing or two about wearing proper pants.

The family roamed the streets of Paris and wreaked havoc just by standing by the corner of the street! Figo’s wife, Helen went into Tartine et Chocolat to purchase perfumes for their three daughters. Yes, you can just imagine the number of times he’s had to hear “New Moon” in the last few weeks.

We’re not fully up to date with Guti’s love life (we usually let our amigas at Kickette do the job) but here he is with horrid looking pants. My dad thinks he needs to stop playing football completely, and ya’ll know that his days at Madrid at numbered following his reported outburst. “I’m a guy who never stops, day or night. I like to enjoy the night with my friends. I don’t see myself going to nightclubs until six in the morning when I’m 60, I see myself doing that now,” was what he told Spanish TV. Kkkk, hacer lo que quieras …

Apparently, his latest girlfriend’s name is Paula and they met recently at a Madrid nightclub (no surprise) and then started dating. They arrived in Ibiza relaxed and happy. It’s Ibeeetha people!!! Everyone’s happy there.

via Hola

• Guti looks into the distance as he wonders about his future at Real Madrid…. All you niños in the USA are the luckiest people as you’ll get to see DC United take on Real Madrid at the FedEx Field with all their stars during the summer. Ticket sales are approaching 35,000. Buy your tickets now!
• Speaking of Real Madrid, a friendly game with AC Milan has been scheduled on August 25 to commemorate their former player and president, Bernabeu. Too early to talk about a possible Kaka backlash.
• David Villa will finally talk about his future at Valencia…. after Sunday. Will he stay or will he sacrifice himself for the club? Who knows?
• Joel Santana, whose English has been mocked mercilessly by the Brazilian TV networks, is ready to face former colleague, Dunga. His command of English will win the game!

Did Guti cut his hair to be on Eurovision? No matter, the midfielder wants to see some of the best players at Real Madrid next season and he believes that Harry Potter Perez can work his wand to bring some magic to the Bernabeu. Cue the collective snorts from all over the world!

“I hope that Kaka, Cristiano Ronaldo and [Lionel] Messi come. At Madrid, there has to be the best players,” Guti told Cuatro.

“We all know what (Perez) did in his day and we expect that he will start a great project, with big players who stay at the club and win many titles for Real Madrid,” he added.

Once again, you can expect all three players to remain within the walls of their current clubs next season. Still, Guti’s call for change speaks volumes about the squad’s need to revamp itself. Hay muchos problemas que necesita un solución!

Guti and his enormous Adam’s Apple (we know that sounded wrong but whatevs) have both been ruled out of el clasico against Barcelona this Saturday. Noooo!

Guti suffered a ligament injury to his left ankle in training yesterday. If you’re interested in the technical details, read on.

“After exploration and tests at the  Sanitas La Moraleja Hospital, Guti (was found to have) grade II sprain of the external lateral ligament without involvement of the bone. Guti will not be selected for the match against Barcelona and depending on the (pain and inflammation), he will be assessed again by the Medical Services to predict the estimated time he can play again,” read a club statement.

Are you going for el clasico at the Bernabeu? If you are, e-mail us por favor!