Fútbolita

Amigas, all we have to say about last night’s game is that the Rossoneri threw it away like a Carl’s Jr burger wrapper on a marshmallow stove. Despite The Dinho’s brilliance, men like Huntelaar and Dida need to be taken out because they obviously switched off in the second half and Leonardo couldn’t locate their manuals so that explains the 3-2 loss. Debería darte vergüenza! You should be playing for Disney FC and NOT AC Milan. Where’s the CLASS, hombres? You’re supposed to be the best European team in Italy with eight trophies… so act like it and don’t play like Merda!

And by the way, Rafael (who lost those luscious curls..!) did a pretty good job trying to cover the likes of The Dinho. What a hardworking menino. Um aplauso para ele, por favor. If you want Becks to reassure you…. watch the video below!

As for Los Blancos, they have a lot of incentive to reach the Champions League final so losing 0-1 away from the Bernabeu wasn’t such a bad thing. Não, este não é um caso de duplo standard – it’s just the fact that Real know that if they don’t make it to the finals, everyone will literally get into a bitch fit!

Greaseano seemed muito tranquilo about it all and said: “I’m calm. In this competition you have to suffer. I’m sure that we will give a good answer in the return game and that we will win. The Bernabeu will help us. We will have to give to give it everything from the first minute until the last. The tie is not lost.”

via AP, Reuters, FIFA

Oooooh, e aí mano, Leonardo the Fine One?!!! We hope our eyes aren’t playing tricks on us – because if that’s the case, Dolce & Gabbana should abandon all fashion collaborations with Italy’s players immediately! Instead, they must do a full editorial spread with coaches like Mourinho and Senor Pep. All our mums would do more than bid on that…

Anyway, Milan are doing something exciting for Christmas – and no, that does not translate into Uncle Fester Galliani’s role as Santarina (eww!) Instead, they’re encouraging fans to bid on autographed photos that were taken and commissioned by D&G’s Stefano Guindani. The first batch of photos have been revealed – and we can’t wait to see Nesta’s Gattuso’s and Pato’s overall ferociousness next month! In the meantime, enjoy Marco Boriello, Huntelaar (aka The Original Christmas Elf) and Pippo all looking absolutely fineeee in suits. Ya’ll better appreciate!

Click here to bid!

“Now now everybody, queue up if you want to hug Huntelaar!” were the instructions in Italy last night. Yes, the Christmas elf whose stint at Real can only kindly be described as a Spectacular Flop scored a double for the Rossoneri last night. Folks, this was against Catania…it should’ve been a gol-fest! Nevertheless, three points is what’s most important here so yes it’s time to appreciate Berlusconi’s Babies.

Pippo went all out to question his yellow card last night but we’re guessing he must’ve either dashed past the offside flag a little too excitedly or tried to emulate that Middle Eastern dancer.

via AP

This man is a tragic case of Real Moneda’s Merciless treatment of their players. It’s like dating Greaseano – you never know when you’ll actually get dumped until he blatantly ignores your presence despite your efforts or laugh at your texts by the poolside (Herpey Hilton!!)

Anyway, Uncle Fester and Leooooo decided that it was about time they did something with the Kaka-Gold-Money-Pot. Like purchasing new strikers, for example. We’re not sure if this will work with Pato’s “I want to be a second striker” bitching tirade but let’s hope Christmas Elf Huntelaar gets more playing chances. What he can be assured of is the “Milan warmth”. The Rossoneri are probably the most family-friendly team in Italy and Huntelaar will be giving out candy in no time.

“Milan is a special place for the Dutch (players),” he said, upon his arrival at the Milan airport yesterday.

“I know Van Basten very well as he was my coach in Ajax and (in) the Dutch national team. Milan must have a good season.”

This photo screams Awkward!!! You know Ancelotti is feeling guilty about leaving the Rossoneri, so he has to act all innocent and put on that inquisitive face for Guapo Leonardo.

Anyway, the Milanistas are reportedly interested in ousted Real Moneda striker, Huntelaar. Poor hombre couldn’t even last one season! It feels like yesterday when us folks were talking about the “Huntelaar VS Diarra For Champions League Spot” debate.

“If there’s a chance for us to buy, Huntelaar is (definitely) a player we will consider,” said Leonardo.

A seven goal thriller against Spain’s oldest club, Atlético Bilbao, saw the Christmas elf Huntelaar netting in two crucial goals yesterday. Oh Madrid, everyone is still pretty sore from that midweek merda performance.Still, Huntelaar is this week’s Sunday Señor! (a project that we’ve brought back from the grave). Enjoy the random selection of photos under the cut including one “with” Johan Cruyff…

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The royal Madrileños only managed a 1-1 draw against city rivals Atletico Madrid last night. Surprisingly, they chose to adopt a defensive tactic from the beginning and exerted some pressure on their visitors.

Atletico’s first goal courtesy of Diego Forlan came out of swift counter-attacking and effectively destroyed Madrid’s defensive play. And it was Kun’s crucial cross that led to the goal!

Christmas elf Huntelaar pulled one back for Real in the second half, but even that goal didn’t please the crowd (Madridistas are never satisfied) so they continued to look for their chances to score. There was a slight controversy in the dying minutes of the game as Kun believed he was unfairly brought down.

“It was a penalty,” fumed Aguero. “It was the final incident in the game but you aren’t going to get a penalty in the dying minutes at the Bernabeu. I looked at the clock and there was a minute left and he (the referee) wasn’t going to give it.”

He’s right. We all don’t want to admit some things about Real Madrid and referees. Also, how does Raul manage to look annoyed 24/7 of the time?

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gzvqN26I5Q]

Los Blancos smashed six goals past Real Betis last night with doubles from both the Pixie, Huntelaar and record king, Raul. The other goals were courtesy of Sergio Ramos, Oliveira and the Pied Piper of Hamlin, Gonzalo Higuain.

Ah, Raul seems to be getting better with age. And Huntelaaaaaar is an exciting prospect to look out for!

Overall, it was good game for Madrid who are now seven points adrift of Barcelona. It’ll certainly be an interesting Wednesday night Champions League meeting against Liverpool.

“The team have grown as a whole,” said Grandma Juande Ramos after the 6-1 win. “All the players are talented, but they must use it to help the team. All the players have improved and the team is benefiting.”

Pixie-faced striker, Huntelaar has spoken up about his pain about not being able to play for Real Madrid in the Champions League. You may recall Real Madrid’s ‘quest’ to field both cup-tied strikers in the European competition. But UEFA rejected their proposal and Real chose Diarra to face Liverpool instead.

“The worst is over but it will not be easy to watch the game on TV against Liverpool. It was very bad (when they chose not to field me) but I complied. It is a (harsh) reality because I know that I might have been on the field playing,” he said.

Huntelaar is obviously in pain – so we hope Charlie and the Chocolate Factory reruns can help to ease it a little.

We are mesmerized by the photo of Sergio Ramos‘ hair-in-the-wind pose above. He is quite special because apart from his workmanship, he’s able to condition his hair to perfection all the time.

The real star of the Real Madrid show yesterday, however, was Arjen Robben (along with strikers Huntelaar and Diarra, who both made their debuts). The Dutch winger scored the only goal of the game thanks to a left-footed shot and nearly got a second when the ball hit the top of the bar. It was enough to secure Real a 1-0 win over Villarreal.

Huntelaar is still lacking match fitness, so he was substituted ten minutes into the second half. But of course, the Christmas elf was pleased with his debut. He also spoke about his ‘hopes’ about being picked to play in the Champions League.

“Of course I would like to play in the Champions League, but it’s not up to me. I will respect the coach’s decision no matter what,” he said. “It will be a great game against Liverpool and hopefully we will be able to progress. But now, we must concentrate first on our next game against Mallorca.”

So of course, the joke of the day is that only one of Real Madrid’s two recent signings – Huntelaar or Diarra – will be allowed to feature in the Champs League. This is due to UEFA’s standing rule that teams are only allowed to pick one player who has previously played in the UEFA Cup to play in the Champions League.

Predrag Mijatovic, Real’s joke of a sporting director, is trying to ‘sort things out’ with UEFA now. Calderon has threatened to burn the Christmas tree down, so they must all move at rapid speed! Rápidamente, rápidamente!

Marca, the Spanish newspaper conducted a poll among its readers. More than 80% of them want Huntelaar to start for Juande Ramos. And we can clearly see they’re all mesmerized by the Christmas elf himself…

Real Madrid’s favourite pink boot man of the moment, Marcelo, has spoken about his new teammate Huntelaar and how the Dutch striker can help to boost Real’s frontline, following Horsey Van Nistelrooy’s injury woes.

“He is a great striker. I’m sure he will help Real Madrid a lot for the rest of this season and in the future,” said the former Fluminense player in a press conference.

Asked about the presence of many Dutch players in the team – they are now six with the new addition- instead of Brazilians who normally dominate the squad, Marcelo replied: “They are excellent players. I don’t think we should have to think about their nationalities!” (Yeah, he’s just being PR and nice).

Marcelo also spoke about the difficult month of December – Real is slated to face Sevilla, Barcelona and Valencia in what is sure to be challenging matches.

“We know the Spanish championship has many complicated games. We need to focus as much as possible and work hard for each one,” he said.