Fútbolita

So we all know that Senor Joan Laporta is standing for Barca elections again this year. And here he is looking like a St. Regis butler and kissing the Queen of Jordan’s hands. Isn’t she just gawwwwjus! Anyway, Polonia (a part of the Catalan comedy sketch show Crackovia) decided to spoof his presidential web video – this time with that horrid Chicken Little jingle. 

And yes, you know you want to watch it… even all you overzealous Real Madrid fanaticos! Don’t disappoint us now…. Sergio Canales probably loved it too. 

Step away Laporta … you don’t want to be anywhere near Sepp Blatter, the ignorant velho! Yet again, he’s gone out to say some insensitive merda about John Terry’s cheating scandal… at an IOC gathering. There’s been a huge outcry from futbolitas all over the world after he made an rather unnecessary reference to Latinos. Classy!

“Listen, this is a special approach in the Anglo-Saxon countries,” he Swiss told reporters in Vancouver. “If this (cheating) had happened in let’s say Latin countries then I think John Terry would have been applauded.”

First, no one in their right minds would ever applaud a cheating scandal – not even Botox Berlusconi, if he wanted to make a reference to extreme cases. Secondly, did the press in Argentina celebrate after what Kun, The Dona and even Carlos Tevez supposedly did to their own partners? NO!


Whenever Star Wars comes on and they cut to the Yoda/Swamp setting, you immediately picture SEPP because that’s his real scene right THERE. He should not be addressing football’s biggest issues at all. And at at least the Jedi masters listened to Yoda. If they had a swamp near his office, only Jabba the Hut would bother to pay SEPP a visit once a decade.

via AP, Star Wars

Yes, you can always count on the Crackòvia characters to quell your midweek misery. With these guys around, you know that you’re guaranteed to have a laugh. This time, check out this skit centered on Senor Pep and contract renewal with Barca. Or better still, Laporta’s INSANE reaction to the news as he breaks into a sing-and-dance! Oh amigas, these men deserve an academy award for their facial expressions alone. GAUDEIX! (enjoy)

It looks like zio Ranieri is getting himself all worked up – or rather, excited – over the possibility of the ToniTotti pairing for Roma this weekend against Genova. He even compared the spectacle to Drogba’s favourite film, Avatar! Ok, we made that last bit up about your beloved Diving genius, but whatever you say, Tsu’tey the clan leader is still his twin.

“There are more expectations to see Totti-Toni than (the opening of) ‘Avatar’ itself” said Ranieri. By the way, the film opens to the Italian public on Friday and you know Marcello Lippi already bought his 3-D glasses in hopes of seeing the tribe’s princess in all her blueness. “Let’s hope that the captain recovers (from tendinitis). When he is fit, will talk about how he can play for Roma,” added Ranieri.

One of Argentina’s starlets, Eduardo “Toto” Salvio is set to become an Atletico Madrid player… and yes, he’s touted to be Kun Aguero’s replacement (so that he can finally make that dream move to wherever he wants). Los colchoneros fans must be thrilled!

It cost 8 million to bring Toto to the club (caro, tal vez?) because his former club, Lanús charged EUR 6.8 million and the Argentine Football Association paid an additional 1.2 million euros. The rest will be paid in installments and the player arrives in Madrid on Friday. Toto is probably frantically packing away now, knowing that neither Forlan nor Kun will not be sharing their toothpaste tubes with him!

The Barca Elections are back and while the club’s vice-president, Jaume Ferrer, has declared that he wants to run for position of president this year, Joan Laporta feels “hurt to learn this from the media” instead of from Ferrer directly. “Of course we not limit the choices of anyone to be president and we have already discussed this,” Laporta said.

One interesting addition to the Barca elections if the grand-daughter of the club’s founder itself, Emma Gamper. She will be backing candidate Jaume Guixà, who is also running for presidency. “ Is a great thrill for any (of us) to have the legacy of Joan Gamper in their ranks and I have this privilege,” said Guixa.

As always… here’s a spoof from the Crackovia folks about Sandro Rosell - the club’s former director, who is also running for president. Genial!

via Reuters, El Mundo Deportivo

Now now, doesn’t that look amazing? A Laser light show right in the middle of the Nou Camp? The last time Senor Laporta demanded for this to happen was when Barca won the treble. And ya’ll know how passionate he is about Catalunya‘s independence so it was obvious that he was going to pull all the stops to make it increïble!

Anyway, Catalonia and Argentina played to a friendly yesterday and of course, Bobojan scored in their 4-2 victory. To be fair, The Dona’s men were without influential players like the Messiah so they fielded a… well, tired side. Also, speaking of The Dona, we found him in the stands! In case you miss him….we’ve got photos.

Joan Laporta looks like a proud 5-year-old who loves peanut waffles in that photo. Oooh!

Anyway, the Barcelona president has accused Real Madrid of ‘breaking the market’ after Potter Perez submitted a bid to price Kaka away from AC Milan for $92 million.

“We adjusted to the market, which we believe should be the (case in the) world of football and other clubs with common sense and responsibility are also trying to (do the same)” he said.

“The normal setting will be to ensure that the clubs are well managed. We’re looking for players who want to enhance their prestige in sports – the reference is now Barca. They know that we are well regarded and have a good projection. We have always maintained (that),” he added.