Fútbolita

THE DEAL IS DONE. Milan have officially transformed into Brasil FC (now where is Ibracadabra going to fit in?) and all they need now is for Kaka to return and complete the rest of the picture! For our own reasons (he-he), he’d better stay at Real for at least one more season.

“AC Milan communicates it has acquired the player Robinho, outright from Manchester City. The Brazilian has signed a contract with the Rossoneri club for four years,” read a statement which was undoubtedly written by Berlusconi’s annoyed secretary.

Right now, you know that the zany producers of “Chiambretti Night” are also probably scrambling to get Robinho on the show. It’d be the best welcome gift ever!

via AP

“Ei Kaka, o que você está fazendo?!!” must be the only thing to come out of Senhor MouMou’s mouth in that picture. After all, Kaka hasn’t been training with the Merry Madrid Men and spent the most of yesterday suntanning and on the chairs next to Wedgeillas. There was certainly a little bit of “Mano a Mano” going on there between the Spaniard and the Brazilian. Even Kaka wanted to find out with Eva Langoria made them all eat for dinner in LA last week!

On the subject of MouMou, his favourite protégé, Zlatan Ibracadabra has declared that he is ready to face his old boss in the upcoming La Liga season. Ya’ll know what will happen if he moves from Barca! There’s simply no way that will happen without some sort of backlash.

“He is the best or one of the best coaches in the world. I don’t believe in Madrid, but I believe in Mourinho,” said Zlatan. Aawww.

via Sky Sports, Gettyimages

BEM-VINDO to the Friday CQC Club! In this episode, our favourite Brazilian reporter Felipe Andreoli approaches Franz Beckenbauer like they’ve been hanging out for the last century or so and hunts down all the Brazilian ministers and former players, including Bebeto and Cafu in South Africa!

Watch out for the part when Andreoli tells Beckenbauer : “You know President Lula? He’s also known as President Calamari!” (which is true – Lula translates to ‘squid’ in Portuguese!)

In this other video, Kaka tries his best to stay patient and strike impossible poses – featuring a globe – for a magazine cover. Seriously, all the guy wants to do is to sleep in with Baby Luca! We’ve also discovered a fair amount of Kaka haters this month, so as usual, they can just proceed to the LEFT.

BEM VINDO to the Matchday edition of Seleção Bootcamp! Don’t you love it that everybody has their headphones on in the morning? What could fofo Nilmar possibly be listening to? Lady Gaga? Meu Deus, we bet it’s Bebel Gilberto…. or Sergio Mendes! In the last two days, the guys have been training at 4:30pm everyday and attending the compulsory press conferences. At every World Cup, teams have to follow a specific FIFA protocol, and it’s no different with the selecao. Everybody has to face the press and if you’re lucky, you get the jokers Luisao or even Julio Cesar, as he proved other day. Or if you want to throw daggers at someone, Felipe Melo will be the man for you – but he won’t take it lightly!

Anyway, caras face off against Portugal today and we feel like we’ve been waiting for this one since FOREVER. Listen Greaseano, please play nice today ou eu vou mandar uma garrafa de GASOLINA para a sua casa em Madrid. Your stepovers can be nice to watch, but today, you won’t be the only one doing it because Robinho is IN THE HOUSE. Forcaaaaaa and BEIJOS to you from the squad….!

via AFP, R.Ribeiro

Finally, the game everyone has been waiting for is just a day away! Like many other people, Brazil too is my second team,after all, it’s thanks to Romario and Ronaldo, that I fell in love with football! How can you not love Brazil,the beautiful football they play,and their warm, cheerful people! Yes Portugal and Brazil have a special relationship, some people will say it’s because we speak the same language. No, it goes beyond that, there is also mutual respect and friendship. But football isn’t about friendship, once the players kick off the match, friendships will be put aside!

That is why a comment made by one commentator on Monday really didn’t go down well with me! ” The two Portuguese speaking ”seleccaos”, will want to go through together,they friends, they will play a friendly, to insure Portugal go through” Seriously man, if I could have hit you with something over the head through my tv I would have!

Ivory Coast isn’t out of it just yet, and with football you never know, therefore Portugal will play to win, as will Brazil, so that they can get first spot on the group! If they play a “friendly” millions will be highly upset including myself, but I don’t see that happening!

The fans are still beaming from the thrilling 7-0 win, they have new found faith that if the same team as that of Monday plays, we can beat Brazil! The team have been hard at work, and when a reporter asked Tiago, if they would be playing for a draw, he looked clearly annoyed, and he let them know, that the squad doesn’t enter a field, and hopes for a draw, in every game they play to win! Ai some people!!!

A big disappointment for this match is the absence of Kaka, every one wanted to watch the two bff’s play against each other! Real Madrid fans had been talking about this game since December, but some ref not worthy of  being mentioned made sure to spoil that one for us!

Best Friends Forever and Ever (Photo AFP)

There are critics that feel that if you are not Portuguese then you have no right to play for the Portuguese squad. And after Monday’s win, when not one Brazilian player was in our line up, (except for Liedson who came on later in the second half), fans haven’t been afraid of commenting, ” We are nick-named the Brazil B team, but look now how well we did without them! ” This is something that has been going on for months, and while many welcome the Brazilian players,others are highly against it! Liedson added fuel to this fire a while back, by saying that his heart would be divided when Portugal played his home country! Oh boy… this week though he said that he didn’t mean it that way(?!) and that his family in Brazil would all be cheering for Portugal… Hm… makes you wonder doesn’t it! Having said that though, he is truly loved in Portugal!

The only question I have is, Will Queiroz play any Brazilians tomorrow?

All I know is if Portugal play with the same fire they did on Monday, then things are looking really good for us! So I am going to aim high, and say the result for this match Portugal 3-1 Brazil.

Beijocas Brasil,but when it comes to loyalty my heart is 100% Portuguese Por isso  Força Portugal!

Signing off,Your Portuguese Futbolita

Monica

OK, Dani Alves has the case of The Morning Face which often occurs to the likes of his fellow countryman, Curly da Silva. When you have a BUS that looks like that, even you can’t wait to rub the sleep from your eyes! Forget about taking the popular “flag car” – the bus is the way to go in South Africa. That’s a bus we’d board in três segundo!

Caras are now in Tanzania to play a match against their national team tonight. Meu Deus, we have many friends in Tanzania and they have told us how the country is going berserk with the selecao’s arrival. They’re also bunking at the Hotel Mövenpik (no relation to the Swiss ice-cream, por favor) so if you happen to be there, please remember to bring a bag of flour for Elano!

via R.Ribeiro

The seleção have checked into their temporary boot camp in Curitiba (poooor fin!) and have taken their medical tests (courtesy of the Atlético Paranaense team!) Poor Nilmar seems afraid of needles while Fabuloso and Elano struggled to be brave men. They boys are also doing muscular exercises daily under the watchful eyes of Senhor Paulo Paixão and Fábio Mahseredjian. Oh Mio dios, those two instructors are not to be messed with.

Unfortunately, Kaka and Fabulouso sat out training but they’ll be back soon. Read more to see a MEGA GALLERY.. and yes, Luisao’s pained expression below wants you to go check it out!

Photos for Futbolita via R.Ribeiro
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So a flurry of messages have been hitting us nonstop after these photos from Vanity Fair’s World Cup issue leaked last night. And hello there ropa interior (underwear!) As we speak, the USA futbolitas all agree that Landon Donovan’s bizarre pose hinges on “unforgivable”.  We’re also sure the rest of you are getting ‘stars’ (literally) from Muntari and Eto’o. As for Pato, we’re pretty sure he won’t be picked by Dopey so that pose will have to do for now! você gosta?

For the love of MouMou… Diving Drogba next to a grinning Greaseano with clashing colours isn’t the best of ideas. Annie Leibovitz should have known better and placed Kaka on the front cover instead! All you need to sell copies is to put the Madrid Bromance on your cover and you’ve got it Finito, éxito!! And yes futbolitas, more updates to come soon.

via Vanity Fair

Chicas and amigos will probably laugh when they read this, but the fact still remains it’s been eight years and Ricky here still remains Jugador más querido for us! It’s also his birthday weekend, and we’ve watched him grow from the awkward 18 year old boy (in tio Scolari’s anti-Romario 2002 World Cup squad) to the genius of a man he is today. He is honestly an inspiration to us all and best of all, Carol is the sweetest bella ever (yes, we’ve been in touch.. more on that comin’ up!) and together with baby Luca, they make one big happy y gawwwwjus family!

Tipo also scored the winner against Real Zaragoza last night, which caps off his birthday celebrations with the Madridistas. And as he always says .. “Um grande abraço!”

via AP, Reuters

So the Champions League trophy finally arrived at the Bernabeu yesterday and tres amigos came together to commemorate its arrival next to President Panda Perez. And in case you’re wondering, Greaseano is talking to Raul the Great One about the new fruit blender that’s out in the market right now because THAT’S exactly what they have in common! Anyway, mujer on the left looks incredibly cheesed off… hermana, chillax! You’re walking in front of Kaka por el amor de dios… there’s no need to rush this one!

via AP/AFP

As the title says, we promise not to disappoint anyone today. It’s pretty obvious that the Madridistas are writhing all over the floor from the name “Messiah” being chanted, whispered or screamed incessantly into their ears. You must remember, however, that Messiah is from planet Mercury (Pele was from Pluto, Maradona from Mars, Valdano from Venus and so on..) and every generation has its own set of indomitable players! You guys can still be Messiahdistas... there’s nothing wrong with that!

Our Madrid futbolita predicted the score correctly on Saturday (alas, it went the other way… 2-1 in favour of Los Cules). As for Greaseano, he declared that “We’re still missing seven games and we know that we can still win the Spanish league.” Someone please tell Kaka to wine and dine his Bromance partner AGORA!

Added Rrrrraul Albiolll : “We cannot fail any more. We will try to win every single game and reach the 98 point mark. We will not let go of the title before then.”

Last but not least, good ol’ Iniesta says everyone should chill the merda out! “The team knows what we have to do. We are aware that we have won a big game, but there are seven games remaining and we cannot stop working until the end of the season.”

As for Pedrito….O HAY thur, mi hombre!

via AFP, Reuters

El clasico’s tonight, and while you’re busy dusting off your Messiah jersey or piling on the hair wax ala good ol’ Greaseaño, it’s time for another edition of “Tres Cosas” or the 3 things game! Last year, we had fun playing it with Barca and Real chicas Messa and Leo, so here we go again with Christina (from Madrid) and Emma (from the USA). Let’s all say “Bienvenido, tias” and buena suerte!

Read more to find out what they’d like to do to OPPONENT PLAYERS!

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The last we checked, Rickeano’s Bromance was still burning as hot as an iron coal. Just look at them… having these little precious moments to themselves during Madrid’s training! Misty eyed Pellegrini feels left out and Ramos the Raver can’t figure out what’s on planet Earth is going on! Anyway, Kaka’s son, Luca, was supposed to arrive at precisely that moment to stretch out his clenched fist so they could form a triangle of life, but they refused to let him on the pitch. Ridículo! Eles são os irmãos no trabalho!

The point of all this blabber is to inform you that Kaka is annoyed with 2006′s party-pooping seleção and would like things to be better this year.

“It sure is a great opportunity to erase the image that left in 2006. We reached three consecutive finals between 1994 and 2002, and what happened in Germany can be considered  normal. It was the end of a cycle, several players were exchanged, and the expectation now is that a new cycle victories starts. I hope this will happen by 2010!”

via Gettyimages