Fútbolita

A few weeks ago, we wrote about how Eva Langoria has been neglecting her old friend, Rafa Marquez in favour of the new Ferosh Kids, IkerBonero. Well, it appears that she has not forgotten him at all.. because they met at the Red Bulls-La Galaxy game over the weekend!

Marquez was with his namorada, Jaydy Mitchel, a Mexican singer and actress. Of course, her husband Tony Parker also attended the game purely for the debut of Titipo Henry. You gotta show your good friend some support, eh?

Here’s a photo of Arjen-We-Still-Don’t-Forgive-You-Robben with a message to his former colleague, Raul the Great One at Schalke! You all know how much Bundesliga loves the Real Madrid legend now, but Robben thinks that Bayern will be title champs again este ano!

He wrote: “Welcome Raúl, and good luck. But we will be champions. Greetings, Arjen!” And with that, he proceeded to dive over the pavement with the letter.

Here are two video featuring your highness Greaseano and the adoooorável Fabio Curly da Silva discussing ‘their game’.  Greaseano seems a little bit aggressive in his explanations, but that’s just cos’ he can’t wait to go on that lunch date with Irina. As for Fabio, queremos beliscar suas bochechas!

via Bild, Jundabean, Nike Futebol, HOLA!

Robinho may have been on holiday in South Africa, but he’d better be worried because Neymar is ready to rock the house! Santos emerged winners of the Copa do Brasil last night, despite losing 2-1 to Victoria, simply because they already won the first leg of the match. Muito legal, indeed and Neymar decided to celebrate by wearing a shirt with a message dedicated to his family (“pai, mãe, irmã e amigos após a partida”) and climbed over barricades to celebrate with the fans which was splendid.

Edu Dracena opening the scoring for Santos, but even though Vitoria turned the heat up with goals from Wallace and Júnior, they managed to contain their opponents and duly celebrated in estilo Brasileiro.

Oh, look what we have here! It’s IkerBonero getting it on again in Los Angeles. Wait, isn’t he supposed to be IN preseason training doing drills or something, with the goalkeeping coach?!! That’s right, this is a pretty “old” photo, but it was still worth posting anyway. All you lucky folks from LA probably already witnessed the Pied Piper of Higuain’s double against Club America last night.

Oh dude, es temprano, pero que está listo! (it’s early, but you’re ready). Keep it coming, yeah?

Last season, all eyes were on Antonio Valencia (who quite frankly, hasn’t lived up to his billing). This season, the United aficionados will be screaming Chicharito’s name like he’s the new Jalapeño mixed drink! So of course, tipo will be feeling a tad bit of pressure when the BPL kicks off and your nine million neighbours start unveiling their AON plastered jerseys with their names personalised.

Whatever the case, Chicharito will not tolerate any hatin’ this season because he’s in the fetus clique with the likes of the Da Silva brothers and they all can throw a mean punch when Berbatov walks past. DO NOT MESS!

And as for his teammate, Anderson, we feel truly sorry for him after learning about the car crash, but this is certainly not going to help his career.

via Reuters, AFP, Terra, Hola

So The Messiah is incredibly exhausted.. but he still has six months to go until they crown the new FIFA World Player of the Year, so tipo has to WORK IT! It must be incredibly tiring to go back to playing football right after the World Cup, so he was nice enough to pick all the players whose teams went out early in the tournament. Obviously, folks like Materazzi had ample time to go for a spa, enjoy a manicure AND get inked at the same time while Lucio, as ya’ll know, has been hitting the bitch with Juan!

Edgar Davids and Kevin Urandi also didn’t have anything to say to Marco and Lucio, so they decided to have their own conversations (as seen below) instead. Seriously, what could Edgar and Lucio have spoken about? Felipe Melo?

It’s that time of the year again… the “Gêmeo Season!” The question is, can you tell the Da Silva brothers apart below? Meu Deus, someone needs to give them a hairdryer, the Perpetual Greaseano look is not working!!

Anyway, caras are now in the USA with the rest of the United gang as part of their pre-season tour. They’d better bring their Futbolita tees along for the ride. Hmmm, Fabio (left) is trying to recall where na terra he put it!

Last, and certainly not least, es hora de Ikerbonero! They’re now officially Pap material, which means you’ll probably be seeing them every morning at the breakfast table as you sip tea next to Arsene Wenger.

Anyway, here they are after enjoying a nice little dinner and getting into Wedgiellas’ car. OK, we don’t really care where they’re heading to or if he decides to get a new haircut, but he’d better keep Sara because she’s one of the few girls he has dated with actual brains!

via Gettyimages, Hola and AFP

In news that is certain to make the Curly Fro Bros (aka Rafael and Fabio) weep for joy, Fabulousoooo has expressed his admiration for Nani United.

“If you are asking me what team I most admire it is Manchester United,” he said. “If you play under Sir Alex Ferguson then you are probably going to win a title or another major trophy.”

Forget it! Papa Perez will sign him before he can even say ‘brigado! And since we’re going on about him, here are highlights from Sevilla’s (unfortunate) loss to Getafe last night…

POOOOR FIN! Boca Juniors are winning again and doing justice to their celebrity fans and proud graduates i.e. Tevez the Tasmanian Devil. More importantly, following his brace against Arsenal de Sarandi, Martin Palermo is telling The Dona to ditch Kun and pick him instead for Argentina! Patience man, the Argentinean attack is getting a little bit too crowded these days. They say the fastest way is to follow The Dona to a weekend spa but disculpe tios!, you’ll have to compete with Veronica Ojedo for that.

Yes, it’s a little dark but it’s Real’s goalkeeper, Iker Wedgiellas, his beard and amiguita, Sara Carbonero! The duo headed out to a little pizzeria in Madrid on Saturday aka el derbi/Messiahdista day! By the way, Saralita is a Spanish sports journalist (a hundred bonus points) and por supesto, she is gawwwwjus!

Anyway, she was with him on the morning of el clasico (the grannies of the world are collectively raising their eyebrows!) and accompanied to “console him” after the game. Onlookers also said they were very “lovey-dovey” and we say por que no?

Yes, Mexico’s little Chicharito aka Javier Hernandez is making all the United fanaticos EBRIOS de entusiasmo... drunk with excitement about his arrival to England. He’ll officially start work in July, which means that he’ll join them after South Africa so ya’ll can stop fussing because you’ll get a preview of what’s to come.

Anyway, looking at tipo, he is clearly the hybrid of Ibrahim Afellay and Cicinho but the ‘little pea’ also has a girlfriend named Leticia Sahagún! Here they are at a Chivas (Chicha’s former club) black tie event… He’d better not dump her for a Jordan lookalike when he comes to the UK. Ten ciudado!

via Hola, Reuters, Medio Tiempo

The million dollar question here is… Does Arjen Robben believe himself to be the lead character from The Transporter? Oh dear, look at that swagger… eine Modenschau?!! Airport security better clear the pathway pronto because Robbie over here is NOT going to take NEIN for an answer.

Here he is below again, looking all serious like he’s on a mission. Seriously now, can’t he take out his headphones like Franck Ribery or at least grow out some hair ala Mario Gomez?! You’d expect a member of the CIA to pop out to hand him a basket of Easter Eggs for Louis van Gaal to sign!

Here’s a selection of photos for you to sift through of the Bayern boys arriving at Munich airport, and a bonus of Fabio and his pillow hair (in the background) laughing at Nani. Que tao engraçado?!!

It’s Easter Sunday this weekend so Bayern coach, Louis van Gaal, did the honours and autographed an orange Easter Egg for the German press. At present, it looks like something off the Alien Invasion set. They should have totally brought the whole basket along complete with autographed OllieKahn dolls… Wo ist die Kreativität?

Anyway, as ya’ll know, Bayern will be facing off against Nani United tonight and Park Ji Sung “wants to play in a Champions League-winning team.” We’ve been fishing for something to say about the Brazilian gêmeos but they’ve seemingly disappeared from the face of the Earth!! AJUDA!

Here’s a video of Ibracadabra, Fabulouso, Greaseano, GuapoVela, Cescy, Kun Aguero Papa, StableBoy Torres & more (we dare you to say it in ONE BREATH!) in a Nike ad, doing what they do best. Enjoy!

Calling all GERMAN & JAPANESE Futbolitas!

There’s still five more days to till the Futbolita World Cup Application process ends and once again, we’d like to thank all of you lovely chicas y chicos for sending it your passionate messages! If you haven’t applied yet (and qualify) – what are you waiting for?

Currently, we also seek more German and Japanese applicants, por favor! Wo bist du.. Mädchen? and while we chomp our our sushis... Doko ni iru no?!

via AFP, Reuters, Nike Futebol

So unless you’ve been dancing to the sounds of Ne-Yo with Sepp Blatter all month long, you’d know that tonight’s Champions League fixture will be one of the most exciting ones of the season. It’s the showdown between il Rossoneri & NaniUnited!

The bad news is they always photograph the visiting teams when they come to the San Siro, but gracias a Dios we have a couple of the Milanistas training on their own including El Pato’s raver shoe. You know you’ll be able to spot that colour in the dark…. all he needs now are a couple of glow sticks and the look is complete!

Senhor Leoooonardo has stressed the importance of focus in today’s game. That’s right tipos, ya’ll better CONCENTRATE and the last thing Pallone d’Oro (Golden Balls) Beckham needs to do is to get emotionally attached….and he already is! ánimo!!!

“We must be almost perfect, flawless. I want to see the same performance I saw at Real Madrid during the group stage; I think that was our best game this season and when we played the best football. We must repeat that,” said Leonardo.

Yes, he’s glaring at you, so you’d better smile. Now! Anyway, speaking of Signore Mancini, it appears that he’s harboring a slight fascination towards the Reject Breed. He told La Gazetta dello Sport that he wants to bring Madrid’s Gaga (otherwise known as Fernando Gago) and Milan’s Flamini to Manchester (“An epic flop. I’d like to forget he never came to Arsenal,” proclaimed an amigo). What’s scary is the fact that Oil City are looking pretty formidable these days at fourth place. Granted, it was kinda Curly Fries Da Silva’s fault that ForeignChester lost the last game. Looking at his careless form, he’ll probably be called to Brazil’s U-15 Olympic squad soon … so não se preocupe, cara!

Anyway, the best quote of the day has to come from Carlito Tevez. He thinks that “Gary Neville is an idiot and a boot-licker. He said I was not worth £25 million just to stay in the manager’s good books.” Oh, it probably sounds a lot better in Carlito’s native language. “Gary Neville es un gran pendejo.. Me dijo que no valía 25 millones. Espero que muere!”  Ah yes indeed.

Fabio and his Foreignchester Friends are in Doha now for a training camp (What? In the bloody middle of the week?! you scream) and the answer is yes. Toño Valencia looks quite confused in that lift – and this reminds us of a conversation we had with a futbolita from Ecuador a few weeks ago. “Él es un futbolista muy bueno. Estamos orgullosos de él,” she said. It also takes us back to one of our football encounters, where we met Patrice Evra in the lift, said that we were journalists (true) from Bolivia (false) and he believed us. “¿Hablas español?” he said. Ummm, bien sûr!

Anyway, Forbes have revised their annual list of the Richest Sports Bodies in the World again – and even Potter Perez lost out on this one! Los Diablos Rojos (Red Devils) are at the top with assets valued at £3.22 billion. The Madrilenos only made it to fifth place at £2.33 billion. Surprisingly, Arsenal are one spot below at £2.07 billion.

And if you’re from the UK and watch a certain show call Misfits, don’t you think that the lead character below looks like a hybrid of Fabio Curly da Silva and Brazil TV host, Felipe Andreoli?

via Reuters and Robert Sheehan Online

Uncle Mancini knows that Robinho’s form at Oil City is already looking like your leftover chicken from last Christmas. Even so, you were incredibly mean not to send him fresh flowers. So now, he’s turning his sights to Ibracadabra and Maicon instead!

Declared ManChin : “I always had a loyal relationship with Ibra. He is a world class player and any coach would like to have him in their team. Also, I would be delighted if I could count on Maicon.”

Well well, It’s pretty obvious that he wants to steal from Mourinho’s pool of favourites.  Don’t you remember how Mou kept on going about how Ibra was the best in the world when he was at Inter last year? C’mon, we all know Ragdoll Crespo secretly cried himself to sleep over that every night!

Also, please don’t hit us with candy canes because we didn’t update about Curly Fries Da Silva’s goal. Obviously, the family gave him a new remote-controlled web cam over the hols and Rafael didn’t end up fighting with Fabio over who’ll be wearing the Futbolita shirt to the family barbecue! Marcar mais golos this year, tipo!

Who drew the pots at the Champions League draw last night? I mean… it can’t be Santa Sepp, now can it? Whatever the case…. the gifts they’ve bestowed upon us all are amazing! United vs Milan, Chelski vs Inter (all the action will be in the press conference room!) and Arsenal v Porto. Meanwhile, Real Madrid will take on Lyon while Barca face Stuttgart.

Nevertheless, everyone knows that the only team who is under immense pressure to WORK IT this season is Real. They have everything to lose, especially since the grand finale will be held at the Bernabeu. In other news, Mickey Mouse Beckham is thrilled to face United when he fulfills the rest of his odd contract with Milan next month – and so are his former employees. “He was a terrific servant for the club and we all hope he will be playing,” said a United spokesman. Uh-uh, seriously… we just want the Da Silva bros to sing on floats during half time OK? Porque é que tão difícil?!

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Also futbolitas, please take a break from decorating your Christmas trees for a while and watch this….

So a sad day has come, and according to reliable sources in Argentina, Gianinna and Kun Aguero have officially parted ways. Kun has already packed his bags and left the family home following allegations that he cheated on his wife with a dancer. So it isn’t just Tiger Woods who should be avoiding the feminism society these days!

Anyway, gossip rags are saying that Kun is “not used to married life” and that the emotional discomfort he is facing at home has led to his dismal performances on the pitch. The main problem was he wasn’t comfortable idea of raising a family yet and while he initially showed good behavior, over time the relationship began to crumble and Gianinna often ‘questioned’ her husband’s frequent nights out.

For now, her intention is to stay a while longer with Benjie to save the relationship. But if it does not work out – according to people close to the family – Gianinna could return to Argentina with the child. By the way, what does The Dona have to say about all this and will blood be thicker than water in his team selection? (via La Nacion with thanks to Kickette).

On the eve of the star-studded World Cup Draw, Mickey Mouse’s Muse aka David Beckham remembers Nelson Mandela! What a great PR team he has… “When I was last here with England, I had the honour of meeting Nelson Mandela. That was the highlight of my career; to meet such a great man and a strong man and such a passionate man about sport and life will always stay with me.”

Lastly, your favourite pair of Brazilian gêmeos happened to arrive at the same time as their coach in a UNICEF benefit earlier this week. They tried to tell their older brother to drive slower but…it was too late, and they got out into the pavement at the same time! Look at Rafael’s face.  Nós queremos beliscar-la!

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via La NacionAFP, Bauer Griffin and WIRE Image

via GETTYIMAGES

Ok chicas, this story cracked us up and the randomness of it all is mind-blowing! Yes, it appears that Greaseano has moved out of his luxurious Cheshire mansion and left Futbolito Fabio a gift.

“He left a refrigerator at his house and mine was broken, so I got his. A VIP refrigerator,” Fabio laughed. “We have not spoken much. Now he’s coming to charge me (for the fridge).”

When asked if Greaseano made him pay cash for the fridge, Fabio laughed again and said : “His Portuguese hand closed the fridge. But seriously, I’m rooting for him too. Sure, he’ll do well at Real Madrid. He is a player who works hard and always seeks to improve more and more.”

Anyway, of course he had to speak about his gemelo Rafael…

“He is recovering from an injury in the right shoulder. The curious part is that I had the same injury which left me out of the squad for a long time. We’re twins (even in injury)” he joked.

Tipo is hilarious and we must say it again…. Seu cabelo e muito legal!

via Gettyimages

Come on now, futbolitas… let’s gather around the fire and play a game! Which one of these lindo meninos is Rafael… and which one is Fabio? This one’s pretty easy and ya’ll know which twin we prefer but didn’t get to meet (hey, at least the other was equally sweet!).

Need more time? By the love of Kun, you need a lesson in Twin Identification agoraaa! [Ok, we'll give you 20 seconds....]

Ombre on the left looking slightly stern is Faaaaaaabio (ya’ll remember his LOL-worthy quote which evoked laughter from Rafael). Cutie grinning to the right is his twin bro. Whatever the case, they both have lovely hair and gostaria de penteá-lo.

A few weeks ago, we were out with a friend and spotted more than 11 “mini-Fabios” with the exact same hairstyle (albeit differences in height, age, weight etc). Interestingly though, none of them were Brazilian. Looks like the Da Silva love is spreading internationally. Adorável!

Photo via Audi

Everybody wants a piece of Leonardo! Thing is… we don’t really understand the significance of this spectacle they call the Audi Cup, though. Granted, they’re major sponsors of Milan, United, Boca and Bayern but with all their pre-season tours, isn’t this corporate tournament a little irrelevant?

As they say in futbol – if you’ve got the moneda – ye gotta flaunt it!

United are slated to play Bayern in the “finale” tonight after the German side convincingly thrashed Milan 4-1 (hello thur, what is going on?) thanks to goals from Thomas Müller’s double and goals from Bastian Schweinsteiger and Saer Sene. Milan will fight for third place with Ursula’s Boca Juniors.

They don’t stand among our favorite teams but we had a blast covering Man United when they travelled to Malaysia for their Far East tour. All our preconceptions of them were wrong and they’re all really nice hombres- everyone from the folks in their entourage to the players!

We spoke to Anderson, Fabio, Nani, Rooney, Tosic, Evra, Carrick and even Sir Alex, Kiko Macheda and Paul Scholes briefly.

Rather excitingly, we met one half of our fav Brazilian twin-defenders, Fabio! And among other things, we told him he had sexy hair (thanks to Mari and Sabrina Sato for the inspiration). He chuckled – eyes twinkling – and said, “Obrigado!” By the way, the boy is left-handed and has soft hands. Sadly for us, Rafael wasn’t around for us to hang with so we gave Fabio the Futbolita camisa instead. “Ah, futbolita. Muito prazer!” Fabio said, taking the shirt with a smile. Charming!

We also met Nani - who believe it or not – is the friendliest hombre around and exudes NO douchebag behaviour whatsoever! Halfway throughout our convo, he said to me : “You speak good Portuguese, did you study it?” I replied, “Yes!” and Nani said, “Yes, you speak it well. Very good.” Then he added that he was bored in the hotel and there was nothing much for the players to do following the Jakarta bomb blasts and tight security. So I had to ask : “Do you guys feel sad that Cristiano is gone?” and he replied : “Well, we are getting used to it.” Tosic – who was next to him – told us he didn’t like the weather there.

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Photo by Priscilla Liu

Sim, futbolitaaaas! We met United’s Brazilian full-back Fabio da Silva (too bad Rafael wasn’t in Malaysia) as part of United’s Asian tour  and told him how we loved his sexy hair. We also spoke to Anderson, Nani, Rooney, Tosic, Evra, Carrick and even Sir Alex. It was a blast… and we’ll have more on this in the next few days so look out for it. Tchau!