So unless you’ve been dancing to the sounds of Ne-Yo with Sepp Blatter all month long, you’d know that tonight’s Champions League fixture will be one of the most exciting ones of the season. It’s the showdown between il Rossoneri & NaniUnited!
The bad news is they always photograph the visiting teams when they come to the San Siro, but gracias a Dios we have a couple of the Milanistas training on their own including El Pato’s raver shoe. You know you’ll be able to spot that colour in the dark…. all he needs now are a couple of glow sticks and the look is complete!
Senhor Leoooonardo has stressed the importance of focus in today’s game. That’s right tipos, ya’ll better CONCENTRATE and the last thing Pallone d’Oro (Golden Balls) Beckham needs to do is to get emotionally attached….and he already is! ánimo!!!
“We must be almost perfect, flawless. I want to see the same performance I saw at Real Madrid during the group stage; I think that was our best game this season and when we played the best football. We must repeat that,” said Leonardo.
They don’t stand among our favorite teams but we had a blast covering Man United when they travelled to Malaysia for their Far East tour. All our preconceptions of them were wrong and they’re all really nice hombres- everyone from the folks in their entourage to the players!
We spoke to Anderson, Fabio, Nani, Rooney, Tosic, Evra, Carrick and even Sir Alex, Kiko Macheda and Paul Scholes briefly.
Rather excitingly, we met one half of our fav Brazilian twin-defenders, Fabio! And among other things, we told him he had sexy hair (thanks to Mari and Sabrina Sato for the inspiration). He chuckled – eyes twinkling – and said, “Obrigado!” By the way, the boy is left-handed and has soft hands. Sadly for us, Rafael wasn’t around for us to hang with so we gave Fabio the Futbolita camisa instead. “Ah, futbolita. Muito prazer!” Fabio said, taking the shirt with a smile. Charming!
We also met Nani - who believe it or not – is the friendliest hombre around and exudes NO douchebag behaviour whatsoever! Halfway throughout our convo, he said to me : “You speak good Portuguese, did you study it?” I replied, “Yes!” and Nani said, “Yes, you speak it well. Very good.” Then he added that he was bored in the hotel and there was nothing much for the players to do following the Jakarta bomb blasts and tight security. So I had to ask : “Do you guys feel sad that Cristiano is gone?” and he replied : “Well, we are getting used to it.” Tosic – who was next to him – told us he didn’t like the weather there.
This reminds us of a story our amigo told us about a young Mexican journalist who had travelled half the world to see Greaseano at his Nike boot launch earlier this year. Except hombre looked exactly like CR – immaculately-gelled hair, silver studs, a nice tan, even wearing the player’s jersey. The man proceeded to shriek in the press conference room when he had the chance to ask his idol a question – one which evoked laughter from everyone in the room. Greaseano himself was slightly taken aback by his own twin… how sad!
Anyway, the Portuguese dance troupe have arrived in Albania for their World Cup qualifying game. Oh Nani, couldn’t you have at least smiled for the excited young girl who had waited the entire morning for you? What’s with all the broody facial expressions? At least ‘Gay Times’ Sexiest Man Award Winner, Greaseano, signed autographs for airport employees!
Is that supposed to be some kind of cool pose, Queiroz? He’s trying so hard to fit in with the I-Love-90s-Pop-Music squad of his but it ain’t working, tio!
Anyway, Portugal will play Albania this weekend and all the players know the importance of the game. “If we don’t beat Albania, we will miss the World Cup,” declared Greaseano himself. And if he doesn’t stop tanning, he’ll become his own WAG.
Ronaldo and Anderson, two of out of the trio of United douchebags as seen above, will (finally) be doing their part to help the victims of the Santa Catarina disaster in southern Brazil.
More than 109 people have been found dead and many victims were killed by mudslides. Eight cities in the northeast of the state were isolated, as bridges collapsed and roads were blocked by floods and mudslides.
Said Anderson, “I spoke to Cristiano Ronaldo and he thought it was an excellent idea. Soon after, a group explained what was happening in Santa Catarina. As a Brazilian I am very saddened by what happened there, but it was a great joy to see that people from other countries were sensitive enough to help Brazil. We will do our part and to bring a swift recovery to the beautiful state of Santa Catarina.”
And by helping, we mean that they will be ‘autographing’ their shirts after today’s game, which will be auctioned in Brazil. The funds collected will be given to the associations helping in the recovery.
Perhaps the douches should stop spending their money on vice girls, whores and brothels or discotheques. The amount they spent on booze can help more than one family who’s been affected by the incident!
Ronaldo celebrates Nani's 24th in Lisbon prior to the team's departure to Brazil - 17/11/2008 | Futbolita's note : The cake fails miserably.
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