Fútbolita

Sorry Aragoneses (Tenerife goalie in orange), but it ain’t your day today! No matter though, puedes echarle la culpa a la lluvia (you can blame it on the rain) Anyway, the culprit of yesterday’s Barca game was The Messiah yet again because scored a double against Tenerife, which takes his goal tally to 31 this season. There’s nothing left that can be said about this man – except the fact that his girl looks like a carbon copy of our best friend (yes, you can sending your flowery applications in).

Also, we’re not going to steal the thunder from Bobojan and Pedrooooo who netted in the other goals. Buen trabajo!

The World Cup is fast approaching so naturally, half-naked women in jerseys are appearing everywhere at the speed of light to the dismay of our feminist amicis! Seriously though, these Umbro shirts look pretty cool but they forgot to pass Susana Werner (Julio Cesar’s wife in the middle) a pair of gloves. How dare they! Also, Gael Clichy’s fiancee on the far right is totally channeling Tyra Branks. Worrrrk it! (See Diego Forlan’s girl and Abby Clancy ones here)

So here’s tio MouMou, looking incredibly anxious and annoyed at the same time on the eve of the Italian Cup final today. It’d be nice to see the Romans win this one, but of course, Inter also have their eye on the prize. “Three titles would be fantastic, two would be positive and one would be nothing to be ashamed of,” said MouMou.

But don’t underestimate, Roma and Mrs. Doubtfire Ranieri, gentes. There’s always a chance they could do a celebratory jig together at their home ground of Stadio Olimpico tonight. Luca Toni detto!

“Inter has won the league the last four years and I’m very happy that there’s an Italian side in the Champions League final,” Ranieri said. “We’re honored to face a squad like that in the Italian Cup final. We’ve got a lot of respect for them, but we’re going to play our game.”

via Reuters, AP, Umbro

POOOOR FIN! Boca Juniors are winning again and doing justice to their celebrity fans and proud graduates i.e. Tevez the Tasmanian Devil. More importantly, following his brace against Arsenal de Sarandi, Martin Palermo is telling The Dona to ditch Kun and pick him instead for Argentina! Patience man, the Argentinean attack is getting a little bit too crowded these days. They say the fastest way is to follow The Dona to a weekend spa but disculpe tios!, you’ll have to compete with Veronica Ojedo for that.

Yes, it’s a little dark but it’s Real’s goalkeeper, Iker Wedgiellas, his beard and amiguita, Sara Carbonero! The duo headed out to a little pizzeria in Madrid on Saturday aka el derbi/Messiahdista day! By the way, Saralita is a Spanish sports journalist (a hundred bonus points) and por supesto, she is gawwwwjus!

Anyway, she was with him on the morning of el clasico (the grannies of the world are collectively raising their eyebrows!) and accompanied to “console him” after the game. Onlookers also said they were very “lovey-dovey” and we say por que no?

Yes, Mexico’s little Chicharito aka Javier Hernandez is making all the United fanaticos EBRIOS de entusiasmo... drunk with excitement about his arrival to England. He’ll officially start work in July, which means that he’ll join them after South Africa so ya’ll can stop fussing because you’ll get a preview of what’s to come.

Anyway, looking at tipo, he is clearly the hybrid of Ibrahim Afellay and Cicinho but the ‘little pea’ also has a girlfriend named Leticia Sahagún! Here they are at a Chivas (Chicha’s former club) black tie event… He’d better not dump her for a Jordan lookalike when he comes to the UK. Ten ciudado!

via Hola, Reuters, Medio Tiempo

What a magnificent ball! I’m afraid we’re going to need people to carry us in order to put the Brasil flag at the top of it so please step forward and don’t be shy. Anyway, in case you’re like tio Ferguson, scratching your head and wondering what all this fuss is about, the ball is actually perched on top of a giant countdown clock in “Jo’burg” (come on now, you can’t just play vuvuzelas… you’ve got to walk the TALK too) in South Africa. There’s a giant statue of Nelson Mandela too. Muito legal!

The WPS league kicks off again this weekend – and of course, some of our futbolitas who’ll be featuring in it include Cristiane, Marta, Fabiana and Rosana! Let’s not forget Kelly Smith, Abby Wambach and Heather Mitts who’re all making us muy orgulloso about women’s football. Anyway, our friends from the league sent us photos from their new ad campaign which is pretty cool, especially this one of Abby Wambach!

Also, we’re pretty sure there are many of you here from the USA (and love Clint Dempsey), so you’d better secure your season tickets AHORA because Cristiane is going to be up against Rosana in the opening game of the season. Queremos ir!

Poor Curly Fries got himself sent off last night – and despite our constant barrage of criticisms, we do think that menino has improved his game as of late. He delivers the ball well but gets fired up too easily and he has been collecting cards like Futbolita t-shirts. Which isn’t so bad, but that’s not the point!

“He decided he wasn’t going to give (the red card), then he was pressured into it. He’s [Rafael] young and he’ll learn from it. He’s got a great future ahead of him and he’s going to be a great player and a big asset for Manchester United. He’ll bounce back, he’s a strong character,” said tio Fergie.

via WPS, Gettyimages & Globo

We just wanted to bring your attention to Bobojan, whom we failed to highlight in yesterday’s weekend Señor wrap. Granted, tipo’s looking a little too delirious here but he wants all you Gooners to know that Barca will NOT be playing chess against Arsenal tonight. “I think it’s a magnificent scenario. Arsenal will come here to win the match; they need to score and I’m sure they will also plan to play attacking football, because they need the goals,” Bobojan declared.

Meanwhile, the GuapoVela also enjoyed some time off with Fran Merida and a bottle of Jaffa Juice during training yesterday. Unfortunately for Barca, Ibracadabra, Jeffren and Toure are huge doubts for the game, but as monsieur Wenger always says… nous allons attendre. We’ll wait and see!

In other news, Douchiewalla Deco has declared how he’s a lot happier playing for Portugal, especially since Brazil failed to call him up many, many years ago. Bastante, homem! We’re OVER you, man and that’s said with a Finger-snap in a Z sign.

“With my career, the most normal thing would be to play for Brazil. There are players of the Brazilian team that did not do half of what I did (for the club) and wore the Brazil shirt,” he said. To be fair, he has a point. I mean, look at Ramires!

He also added that “With the players we have, frankly, I see no greater team. Maybe Spain has more solutions, but there’s no other selection superior to ours”

via Reuters/AP

It’s Easter Sunday this weekend so Bayern coach, Louis van Gaal, did the honours and autographed an orange Easter Egg for the German press. At present, it looks like something off the Alien Invasion set. They should have totally brought the whole basket along complete with autographed OllieKahn dolls… Wo ist die Kreativität?

Anyway, as ya’ll know, Bayern will be facing off against Nani United tonight and Park Ji Sung “wants to play in a Champions League-winning team.” We’ve been fishing for something to say about the Brazilian gêmeos but they’ve seemingly disappeared from the face of the Earth!! AJUDA!

Here’s a video of Ibracadabra, Fabulouso, Greaseano, GuapoVela, Cescy, Kun Aguero Papa, StableBoy Torres & more (we dare you to say it in ONE BREATH!) in a Nike ad, doing what they do best. Enjoy!

Calling all GERMAN & JAPANESE Futbolitas!

There’s still five more days to till the Futbolita World Cup Application process ends and once again, we’d like to thank all of you lovely chicas y chicos for sending it your passionate messages! If you haven’t applied yet (and qualify) – what are you waiting for?

Currently, we also seek more German and Japanese applicants, por favor! Wo bist du.. Mädchen? and while we chomp our our sushis... Doko ni iru no?!

via AFP, Reuters, Nike Futebol

So the million dollar question for you Greaseañies today is – WOULD YOU TAP THAT? Well, mano looked pretty clean cut at at the launch of his “I’m wearing this for the World Cup” Nike boot launch yesterday. And the Portugal jacket looks ridiculously comfortable (almost like the blue/white selecao bootcamp ones!) Anyway, he also revealed that he speaks to Kaka a lot because they understand a common language and they both share hope for a Brazil/Portugal final on July 11. Você acredita? (do you believe?)

Here’s another brilliant Crackovia episode again – this time featuring two Barca presidential candidates on their way to watch Barca play Stuttgart. Nunez and Gaspart approach the counter to purchase a ticket at the airport – but Nunez is taken aback at the price. You’ll love his classic reaction!

We were surprised at Senhor Julio Cesar’s poor eye injury last night. It kinda reminded us of Rustu Recber, the intimidating Turkish goalkeeper who happens to be our amiga’s favourite goalie of all time – don’t ask. Anyway, it’s high time we applaud the Inter manos for their hard work – particularly Lucio, who has been hailed by the Brazilian press for his performance against Chelski last night. Also, what a stunner from Diegol…. and Cambiasso!!

via AFP, Reuters, tv3

Ok, we’re only posting this photo because the fabulous Cristianeeee is in it! But as always, the big news in women’s football today belongs to Marta “O Melhor” who has joined FC Gold Pride in the USA. She was formerly a player of Los Angeles Sol (where she did those awesome appearances with Kobe) but sadly, LA Sol’s potential new owners backed out at the last minute as a result, their players had to look for other teams. Unfortunately, no one resembling Roman AbramoRich stepped up to the plate. Anyway, ya’ll know Marta will continue to rock wherever she plays! Ela é incrível!

The Spanish tabloids caught up with Guti at some event where they asked him one of the Cheesiest Questions Alive aka “Do you feel like falling in love (again)?” Con toda seriedad, who asks that?! Even your toes are cringing… admit it. Anyway, equally cheesy Guti answered the journalist: “Who does not (like it)? Not you?” Oh damn, where’s CQC Brasil when you need them? You know they would’ve said something classic about falling in love with his eyebrows….

Anyway, the background to all this is that Guti and his wife, Arancha are divorced with two kids. Since then, he has been linked to a bevy of mujers including university student, Paula, Spanish actress Amaia Salamanca and someone he was photographed with in Miami. Apparently, the girl just wanted The Fame, like Gago Gaga. “I met her, we (were together) for a few days and she seemed like a good girl, but wanting to be rich or famous with a picture of me is ridiculous,” he said. Pim Pam Pim Pam!

via FC Gold Pride, Hola

So Sao Paulo’s resident funnyman Hernanes, is looking at three proposals from top clubs in Europe and is finally, finally, ready to leave Brazil for European shores. After that Barca hoo-ha last year, he says : “I’m 24 to 25 years, and I think that now is time. I’m trying to stay calm. If not now, I am still happy here in Sao Paulo. I cannot get anxious.” Who is he kidding? AC, Inter, Barcelona and even CSKA Moscow are closely monitoring him.

We say… ir a AC, Hernanes!. They need you more than ever although Uncle Fester may try to be funny on your first day on the job and you will get random MMS messages from Botox Berlusconi. Fa tutto parte di un esperimento, as they say.

Speaking of AC, they didn’t too well against Udinese last night, losing 0-1 and getting themselves eliminated from the Coppa Italia. Why on Earth is Pippo attempting to do a bicycle-kick when he knows that it’s not one of his strengths?

Anyway, the game marked the return of Abbiati after a ten-month layoff (Senhor Leonardo and his faith in people!) which meant that Dida could only sit at Milanello by himself playing Monopoly : Edição do Brasil.

“My family has been close to me during this tough period, as well as all my friends. I have a good rapport with (Leonardo) and he knows that I am at the club’s disposal, because they have given me so much,” declared Abbiati.

Oh, talk about former employees! Here’s Kaka and Carol enjoying a nice snog at the Alicia Keys concert last week. AS IF we could write anything else to justify this picture! (Thanks, Verdi) And you know their son, Baby Luca, rolls his eyes whenever this happens in the family kitchen.

My my, what do we have here? It’s Elano scooping the lovely snow up with his wheelbarrow. And this is no playground, futbolitas. It’s his own backyard in Istanbul, Turkey! Oh, how we wished all our backyards looked like this. It’s nice to pretend to be a Snow Samaritan sometimes, especially if you’re trying to break into Dopey’s squad and can’t manage hat-tricks every week. But what are we talking about? Elano helped Galatasaray to a 5-1 thrashing of Denizli Belediye on Sunday. Então … acho que você é super cool agora, cara? He must now create and score every week as April’s squad-selection date looms closer!

As we’ve said before, men who dress well are our weaknesses. Check out Sergio Ramos as he disembarked from Madrid’s plane which landed in Albania. Gurlllll looks like he’s parading down the D&G runway and heading off to Project Ponyway to be on the judging panel. Ferosh!!! Can’t say the same about Jerzy Dudek, though. There are rumours that Gattuso’s restaurant needs a fish-chopping assistant. As for Raul The Great One, okay… we’ll leave it at that before the haters come prancing at us with a Heidi Montag poster.

Anyway, Madrid were in Albania to play in a friendly game or the “Taci Oil Cup”. Of course they won the game 2-1 (Potter Perez would not have tolerated anything less), Fernando Gago played and the screaming Albanian fans went home happy from the Qemal Stafa Stadium.

So Argentina’s Oscar Ruggeri is really annoyed that Argentina’s team manager, Carlos Bilardo is being a bitch and not allowing him to assume the role as The Dona’s assistant coach.

“I did everything I had to do to be in the national squad. I talked to Savino, with Grondona, with Bilardo. I’m still waiting,” said Ruggeri. “A year ago I hoped to be in the selection. A year ago I was quiet and spoke to people on the bench. I think it’s unfair. (Julio) Grondona knows how I handled 11 years in the National Team. I defended the shirt, for me it was my life.”

via AP, David Anchuelo and Globo

Oh finally, Diego and friends are starting to win… for the love of Ciro and Juve! We were starting to believe that the insults thrown at everyone from Felipe Melo to the boardroom were never going to end. But perhaps Napoli threw them a 3-0 lifeline (ok, in calcio Italia, no one ever throws you a lifeline…) which led to Del Piero’s and Diego’s goal.

Finally, here we have Greaseano WORKINGGG IT it for Armani! His eyebrows are trying to send a message to you in that photo so ya’ll better focus! The city of Milan is preparing itself for the larger-than-life ads to replace the Beckhams and before you grab that sandwich, do enjoy Greaseano’s abs and remind yourself that the mayo is never a good idea.

Meanwhile, Romario has been spotted all around Rio in his Ferrari with David Brazil, a famous club promoter in the country. We’re getting bad vibes from this photo, but really, they’re best friends more than anything else so there’s no need to dig up all those old clippings about Ronaldo Lima and the transvestites! And yes, they are really striking a ‘pose’ for ya!

via Ego, Ambito, Reuters

It looks like zio Ranieri is getting himself all worked up – or rather, excited – over the possibility of the ToniTotti pairing for Roma this weekend against Genova. He even compared the spectacle to Drogba’s favourite film, Avatar! Ok, we made that last bit up about your beloved Diving genius, but whatever you say, Tsu’tey the clan leader is still his twin.

“There are more expectations to see Totti-Toni than (the opening of) ‘Avatar’ itself” said Ranieri. By the way, the film opens to the Italian public on Friday and you know Marcello Lippi already bought his 3-D glasses in hopes of seeing the tribe’s princess in all her blueness. “Let’s hope that the captain recovers (from tendinitis). When he is fit, will talk about how he can play for Roma,” added Ranieri.

One of Argentina’s starlets, Eduardo “Toto” Salvio is set to become an Atletico Madrid player… and yes, he’s touted to be Kun Aguero’s replacement (so that he can finally make that dream move to wherever he wants). Los colchoneros fans must be thrilled!

It cost 8 million to bring Toto to the club (caro, tal vez?) because his former club, Lanús charged EUR 6.8 million and the Argentine Football Association paid an additional 1.2 million euros. The rest will be paid in installments and the player arrives in Madrid on Friday. Toto is probably frantically packing away now, knowing that neither Forlan nor Kun will not be sharing their toothpaste tubes with him!

The Barca Elections are back and while the club’s vice-president, Jaume Ferrer, has declared that he wants to run for position of president this year, Joan Laporta feels “hurt to learn this from the media” instead of from Ferrer directly. “Of course we not limit the choices of anyone to be president and we have already discussed this,” Laporta said.

One interesting addition to the Barca elections if the grand-daughter of the club’s founder itself, Emma Gamper. She will be backing candidate Jaume Guixà, who is also running for presidency. “ Is a great thrill for any (of us) to have the legacy of Joan Gamper in their ranks and I have this privilege,” said Guixa.

As always… here’s a spoof from the Crackovia folks about Sandro Rosell - the club’s former director, who is also running for president. Genial!

via Reuters, El Mundo Deportivo

After weeks of rally and support, it has now emerged that River Plate’s promising midfielder, Diego Buonanotte may be discharged from the hospital in two days following his horrifying car accident which claimed the lives of his three friends.

“He’s a very peaceful guy, he’s not a “night-man” and he was not drunk. It was a tragedy, his friends died and nobody expected that. He was so sad and I couldn’t believe it. I hopes he can get over this and find peace in his life,” says a River Plate futbolita, Sabrina, 18 from Buenos Aires.

“Everything went as planned for the operation. Now, we can only wait for his recovery,” said Pedro Hansen, River’s medical chief. As they say in Argentina, Fuerza Diego!

Meanwhile, Greaseano has hit back at Osasuna fans who yelled vulgarities at him at Real’s last game, including the evergreen “hijo puta es” and “Cristiano muérete!” It’s rare to want to be on his side, but this time, we must say that he gets the last laugh.

“Being made unwelcome (during matches) is normal to me. I’ve been there many times in England and ended up being voted the best player in the world.” Ouch!

Look who scored in Milan’s 5-2 thrashing of Genoa last night? The Italian Stallion, himself, Boriello…. and (brace yourselves), Huntelaar! All we can say is they both did a good job of covering for Pato while he was out spreading garlic butter with Sthef. As for Huntelaar, scoring via penalty doesn’t constitute much, but it’s still a goal and unless you do something else, no one is going to be very impressed. At least he did better than The Dinho, who failed to convert a spot-kick… but listen, Thiago Silva scored too OK?

Il Davide featured in the game too (of course) and Leonardo said he “trained in all positions” due to the unexpected injuries prior to the game. So how do things look for Juventus this weekend, then, uomini?

via Reuters, Wenn & Ole

Ah, someone’s ego has been bruised! And it’s none other than your favourite Cabezazo or headbutter, Materazzi!! Since he’s merely shaking his legs at Inter these days, all talk of the World Cup is practically irrelevant to him. Well, not like the tournament needs a crying circus anyway.“I know where I will be on June 11, the day of the first match of the  World Cup: in my trailer traveling in America. I will not be watching the tournament (and I do not know the time (of the matches),” Materazzi declared to La Repubblica. Run along then, Cabebazo!

So Tio ThunderThighs, better known as Roberto Carlos was unveiled as an official Corinthiano alongside his own figurine yesterday. At least the figurine looked more tolerant than the man himself. Anyway, tio will now play alongside his best friend from 2002, Ronaldo Lima… and they will now proceed to spend more weekends watering plants together. “Ronaldo is not my friend, he is my brother. I lived longer with him than with my own family,” ThunderThighs said. He then added : “Listening to this mass (of people) screaming my name is creepy. The reward will be given on the field.”

Here’s another classic New Year’s eve Crackòvia episode. This one features the characters of Guti and Ramos ringing in 2010 by eating 12 grapes, dancing to techno (as usual) and dressing up in… cloaks! Espanyol’s Raul Tamudo (the same character who played Leo Messi) also enforced this tradition on his guests, Nakamura and goalie, Carlos Kameni. And if you observe Tamudo’s sofa lining carefully, it’s draped with a Real Madrid banner!

You’ve seen him flop at Bayern… but did you see the Luca Toni Going Away party that he threw before his move to Roma? Here it is! With plenty of booze and a light-headed Ribery. At least his new Roma boss, Ranieri Doubtfire loves him. “He is in better shape than I expected. He will now play against Cagliari. Roma is different with Luca Toni,” he declared.

via Reuters, TV3 and Gazetta dello Sport

• You and I know that 2010 will be a bloody exciting year for futbol - so if you aren’t counting down to the symphony of vuvuzelas in South Africa already, you’d better start inmediatamente! Happy New Year’s Day, futbolitas.

• Guess who desperately needs to start the year on a clean slate? It’s none other than… Luca Toni! After complaining about  being underused and mistreated by Mistress van Gaal at Bayern, Italy’s Most Awkward striker has now officially joined AS Roma on loan until June 30. Obviously, he’s banking on that transfer to help him get into Lippi’s World Cup squad. Oh for the love of Ranieri, is this man deluded? Someone will have to air courier us a live cactus if Luca gets called up!

• Lookey! Another Brazilian has joined Arsenal on a long-term deal. It’s the U-17 meninho, Wellington and the Gunners have bought him from Fluminense for a cool $10 million. Of course, Wellington is still considered a fetus (much like Coutinho) so he’ll remain in Brazil until he turns 18. And as they say, experience is key so he’ll have to win as much as he can with Fluminense (cue the collective snorts!) before officially becoming Denilson’s BFF in London.

• Yes, you’re looking at specially-commissioned stamps of Zizou in aid of the ELA – a European foundation against Leukodystrophy (a genetic disease which attacks the nervous system). We must say that Zizi resembles the handsome French actor types in these portraits and no, we’re not referring to Gerard Depardieu…. how dare you! Oui, des amis, Zizi’s more like the type who murders the heroine and gets away scot-free in a movie because he’s just so suave. Ah, when did it all come to this, you say? Je ne sais pas!
  



• The man who is capable of causing a fire alarm to set off at a fertility clinic aka Senhor Mourinho has declared that he’s fighting a “lost war” with Italian journalists. Awww, cari colleghi (dear colleagues) – what have you done now?! “I do not feel uncomfortable in this country. When I say I am (not loved) here, I am referring to my relationship with the media. For me, it is the fault of journalists (but) for them, it’s my fault,” he said.”In that sense, I know it is a lost war from the beginning, because journalists are many and I am only one. I lose this war, but not my independence, my way of being politically correct and always saying what I think. But I think with a little more respect we can move on.”
  

via AFP, Abola, Reuters

Alan Kardec is now officially a Benfica player! Of course you remember him… he’s the U-20 Brazil wanderkid from Vasco. Yes, there are thousands (and probably millions) of “Brazilian Wanderkids” but damn, tipo over here is a fineeeee one! Anyway, upon his arrival in Lisbon yesterday, Kardec spent 2 hours at the airport finalizing legal documents and unfortunately, did not grant interviews to any of journalists. But that’s because none of them were wearing bikinis!

Ah, lovely! Senhor Mourn-In-HoHo was at Stamford Bridge to witness Diving Drogba in action last night. Ever the hardworking coach, Mourinho is already taking notes prior to their Champions League encounter with Chelski next February. This man is a workaholic and you can almost imagine him saying, “Please don’t call me arrogant but in Jose world, there is no room for mistakes.” Oh please, in Jose world, there will be a special corner selling Ballackwursts, Ibrahimovic posters at half-price and CDS containing trance remixes of “I think I’m the special one” How can you not be arrogant if you have all that?!

That’s Kun Aguero in happier days… before he pulled a Tiger Woods on Gianinna, of course. Sometimes, all you gotta do is to stop being a Douche and everything can be normal again. And perhaps things are looking up for Kun (maybe not in the national team – if The Dona really believes that blood is thicker than water) according to the latest round of gossip.

Now, it seems that Potter Perez wants to bring Kun to Real Madrid next July and is willing to shell out €60 million paid out over time like structured settlement annuities are to see him wear white. He doesn’t mind Villa either – but it seems pretty unlikely at this point. As for Kun, in order to complete Phase 3 of the glitzy Bachelor lifestyle, he must move to the Bernabeu. Because, que es lo que quieres, verdad?

via Xabierpita, Reuters and A Bola

The Dona is missing! Don’t bother… he’s just hiding somewhere in Barcelona. He’s supposed to be serving a suspension until January 15, remember? And now that his C-team is playing a friendly against Catalonia two days before Christmas, the Argentinean press is reporting that he’s been seen everywhere but the pitch. Yeah, that means he’s holed up in his hotel room with nothing but WII.

Anyway, whatever he’s doing in Barcelona (seriously), he’s not allowed to eat with the players or come into contact with them – except through his aides. And still, The Dona is walking around wearing the official training kit. If you see him, don’t forget to ask him about Kun Aguero.

Meanwhile, Milan’s Uncle Fester Galliani has declared Marco van Basten as AC Milan’s “Best Signing Ever”. Well, they asked him about Sheva, Pato and Kaka but he doesn’t seem all that impressed with them.

“When you make assessments of this kind you need to consider value for money. For we paid 7 million euros, but there is another signing that I feel is unbeatable and I speak of a certain Dutchman. If Pato wins ten golden balls, then it would be different, but until then Van Basten will remain our best buy,” he said.

It’s the Luis Fabiano Rap by a cara named Professor Pablo. Well, of course he deserves his own song… they should play this during the team birthdays!

Probably the most exciting news of all for the Milan tifosi is the fact that Gangsta Gattuso has extended his contract till 2012! Forget Man City, he’s going to stay and fight. And obviously, the general consensus is that everyone is excited… except Mark Hughes of course. “In this way, with a few lines on paper, all insecurities and doubts are swept away because some loves are stronger even with (other) concerns,” wrote the folks over at AC Milan, following the signing of the contract. Yes, this is truly an opera.

So the Green Point City stadium located in the heart of Cape Town is now open for business! This is where one of the semi-final matches of the World Cup will be played at and it has a capacity of 68,000. Well, it looks a tad bit like the Bernabeu – although we aren’t really experts on stadium architecture, we hope to see Puyol or Fabulousooo there next June. They’d better be there, we’re loading up our water guns already.

So Pepe has been sidelined for six months due to a torn cruciate ligament in his knee. He will undergo surgery next week and the recovery process is expected to be a very dull and long one. After all, it’s Real Madrid and in six months, you can travel to the moon and back cheaply with a good orbitz promotions code, fall out of favour with Raul, persuade Billy Joel to sing with Gago and release a blockbuster film about Potter Perez’s legacy featuring Bruce Willis. Hey, but at least everybody loves Pepe. Check out the messages for him : -

Marcelo: “You know how much I love you, brother. You will return soon because you are strong and because this team misses you. Just wait to see how quickly you’ll be up and running again.”

Casillas: “Pepe, we love you very much. All are thoughts are with you. You are a great player and person. This team will fight for you. Get well soon.”

Cristiano Ronaldo: “Stay strong, Pepe. Come back soon. We love you a lot.”

Ramos: “We are here for you, brother. The greats always come back, and you are one of them. We hope to see you soon. Strength and patience.”

via AP, Globo, AFP

Bayern may have qualified for the Champs League (quello che è successo, Juve?!) but Luca Toni is saying goodbye for real, and van Gaal himself has already returned his Laura Pausini CD to the striker.

“I have nothing else to talk to Luca Toni about. He has made it clear he wants to leave Bayern Munich, therefore, he can start looking for a new club. It is too late to come up with excuses now. He should have thought about it before. He decided to behave in a (certain way) and he did not achieve what we (planned) for him and therefore, there is no more place for him in Bayern Munich,” said the coach.

According to German newspapers, West Ham, Fenerbahce, Roma and Inter Milan have shown in the attacker. And yes, he does want to go back to Italy but Luca, you do not want to incur the wrath of Jose Mourinho!

Yes, that’s Diego looking all morose and arty. And you can’t really blame him. Tipos failed to find their footing in the most important European competition. Their elimination and humiliating 4-1 loss to Bayern screams utter humiliation! What about all those purchases they made? Melooooo!!!

“It’s hard to find words because in this case there is very little to say and so much to do,” admitted Del Piero.  “There is not only one culprit, it is not who is more or less guilty. We all equally share the blame with no exceptions and we will all fight together to get out of this situation.”

Before you start getting excited over that photo (thanks Somosche), we must tell you that David Albelda’s sense of humour is pretty darn awesome. And in case you haven’t heard, he’s got the personality of a 8 year old boy whose joy can be found in a Kinder Egg.

Anyway, as ya’ll know, Real and Valencia will face off this weekend and David Silva has been ruled out of the game due to his injury. So of course, they had to ask Albelda a few cliché questions at the pre-match conference.

“We do not have Silva and we are not taking the pain in the ass every day!” Albelda declared. He was also asked about the absence of Ronaldo at the Mestalla (after receiving a double booking) The reporters laughed his response but he added fuel to the fire by saying : “Do not laugh, it’s true, dammit!”

via El Pais, Reuters, AP and Somosche

• What’s with the Wolverine look? He looks 91 instead of 19… tipo needs a razor blade. Now! Unfortunately, Milan only managed a 1-1 draw against Marseille last night. The good thing is that Boriello scored (and has been doing a great deal of that lately). As a result, we’ve been left to eat our own words… è triste.
  
  “I am very relaxed and above all happy to be playing again, as six weeks ago I was in the stands,” declared Boriello. “Now I am playing, scoring goals and since I came back the team hasn’t lost a game. It’s great to feel the faith of the fans and the Coach. I can hear they call my name more when I step on to the field.” Alas, they were actually yelling “Boboboring…!”

• Meanwhile, Rafaella Fico’s boyfriend (according to her), the Greaseano himself, made his long-awaited return to futbol last night against FC Zurich. Yes, rapaz is desperately in need of a tan but everything else looks in place. The Pied Piper of Higuain scored the only goal last night and as usual, it was a beauty. Oi Pellegrini, forget Raul The Great One… start Pipita in all the games with Benzema!

• Remember when Cirque du Soleil welcomed The Dinho backstage a few months back? Well,  Nene, the Brazilian striker from Monaco was also recently invited backstage to hang out with the performers from the awesome circus troupe. Said the former Palmeiras man : “I met four Brazilians who work as artists and coordinate the show. They complimented me and said they are very happy that a Brazilian is the top scorer of the French Championship.” Clowns are the best!!
  



via marabelo (Youtube), Reuters & Globo

• Senor Pep, who looks exhausted from having to bring his daughters to the horrid premiere of New Moon over the weekend wants you to know that even without the Messiah, Ibracadabra and Iniesta, Barca can defeat Inter tonight. Many will call it wishful thinking… but come on! “They are two very important players, but I do not buy the idea that we will be less without Ibra and Messi,” he said. “We’ll compete to win eleven-to-eleven against Inter.”

  Come to think of it, Geri Pique will be a perfect addition to cast of Twilight (Pique as Jacob Black, is that you?). He’s got the smouldering vampire look that will put the likes of Robert-I-don’t-shampoo-my-hair-Pattyson to shame!

• Everyone from sullen-faced cab drivers to the lazy policemen in our neighbourhood can’t stop talking about Titipo Henry’s handball. And now, Lord of the Rings star, referee Pierluigi Collina has given his two cents on the issue. Sadly, he’s trying to be on the fence about this one. “Henry’s case is striking because it has contributed to the fact that one nation has gone to the World Cup. It is not difficult to understand what happened. The point of contact takes a few hundredths of a second and you may not have seen it (on the cameras).” Ei zio, cosa stai dicendo?!! Who is he trying to kid?
  

• Finally, a sighting of Arsenal’s Mr. Guapo aka Carlos Vela! He’s been out injured for a while now, so it’s nice to see him with Cescy at training again. They’ll take on R. Standard de Liège later tonight and el capitano is pretty happy with the way things are. “I have learnt a lot since I was named captain,” he said. “At the beginning it was a bit difficult, but I feel more capable than a year ago. I know my responsibility, my job and I feel everyone is helping and supporting me. I’m looking forward to a great season with Arsenal.” Way to go!
• And in case you were wondering what happened to Ronaldo Lima, here he is trying to run away from Brazilian paparazzi a few days ago after a nice lunch with local singer, Wanessa. Well, he thought he could outdo them all by running out the front door where a Jesus Luz clone was waiting…. but he was mistaken! Eles são mais espertos do que você, cara!

  

via Ego, Reuters and Gettyimages