So the million dollar question for you Greaseañies today is – WOULD YOU TAP THAT? Well, mano looked pretty clean cut at at the launch of his “I’m wearing this for the World Cup” Nike boot launch yesterday. And the Portugal jacket looks ridiculously comfortable (almost like the blue/white selecao bootcamp ones!) Anyway, he also revealed that he speaks to Kaka a lot because they understand a common language and they both share hope for a Brazil/Portugal final on July 11. Você acredita? (do you believe?)
Here’s another brilliant Crackovia episode again – this time featuring two Barca presidential candidates on their way to watch Barca play Stuttgart. Nunez and Gaspart approach the counter to purchase a ticket at the airport – but Nunez is taken aback at the price. You’ll love his classic reaction!
We were surprised at Senhor Julio Cesar’s poor eye injury last night. It kinda reminded us of Rustu Recber, the intimidating Turkish goalkeeper who happens to be our amiga’s favourite goalie of all time – don’t ask. Anyway, it’s high time we applaud the Inter manos for their hard work – particularly Lucio, who has been hailed by the Brazilian press for his performance against Chelski last night. Also, what a stunner from Diegol…. and Cambiasso!!
Feb 05 2010
Posted by Ash as Daily
Ok, we’re only posting this photo because the fabulous Cristianeeee is in it! But as always, the big news in women’s football today belongs to Marta “O Melhor” who has joined FC Gold Pride in the USA. She was formerly a player of Los Angeles Sol (where she did those awesome appearances with Kobe) but sadly, LA Sol’s potential new owners backed out at the last minute as a result, their players had to look for other teams. Unfortunately, no one resembling Roman AbramoRich stepped up to the plate. Anyway, ya’ll know Marta will continue to rock wherever she plays! Ela é incrível!
The Spanish tabloids caught up with Guti at some event where they asked him one of the Cheesiest Questions Alive aka “Do you feel like falling in love (again)?” Con toda seriedad, who asks that?! Even your toes are cringing… admit it. Anyway, equally cheesy Guti answered the journalist: “Who does not (like it)? Not you?” Oh damn, where’s CQC Brasil when you need them? You know they would’ve said something classic about falling in love with his eyebrows….
Anyway, the background to all this is that Guti and his wife, Arancha are divorced with two kids. Since then, he has been linked to a bevy of mujers including university student, Paula, Spanish actress Amaia Salamanca and someone he was photographed with in Miami. Apparently, the girl just wanted The Fame, like Gago Gaga. “I met her, we (were together) for a few days and she seemed like a good girl, but wanting to be rich or famous with a picture of me is ridiculous,” he said. Pim Pam Pim Pam!
So Sao Paulo’s resident funnyman Hernanes, is looking at three proposals from top clubs in Europe and is finally, finally, ready to leave Brazil for European shores. After that Barca hoo-ha last year, he says : “I’m 24 to 25 years, and I think that now is time. I’m trying to stay calm. If not now, I am still happy here in Sao Paulo. I cannot get anxious.” Who is he kidding? AC, Inter, Barcelona and even CSKA Moscow are closely monitoring him.
We say… ir a AC, Hernanes!. They need you more than ever although Uncle Fester may try to be funny on your first day on the job and you will get random MMS messages from Botox Berlusconi. Fa tutto parte di un esperimento, as they say.
Speaking of AC, they didn’t too well against Udinese last night, losing 0-1 and getting themselves eliminated from the Coppa Italia. Why on Earth is Pippo attempting to do a bicycle-kick when he knows that it’s not one of his strengths?
Anyway, the game marked the return of Abbiati after a ten-month layoff (Senhor Leonardo and his faith in people!) which meant that Dida could only sit at Milanello by himself playing Monopoly : Edição do Brasil.
“My family has been close to me during this tough period, as well as all my friends. I have a good rapport with (Leonardo) and he knows that I am at the club’s disposal, because they have given me so much,” declared Abbiati.
Oh, talk about former employees! Here’s Kaka and Carol enjoying a nice snog at the Alicia Keys concert last week. AS IF we could write anything else to justify this picture! (Thanks, Verdi) And you know their son, Baby Luca, rolls his eyes whenever this happens in the family kitchen.
Jan 21 2010
Posted by Ash as Daily
My my, what do we have here? It’s Elano scooping the lovely snow up with his wheelbarrow. And this is no playground, futbolitas. It’s his own backyard in Istanbul, Turkey! Oh, how we wished all our backyards looked like this. It’s nice to pretend to be a Snow Samaritan sometimes, especially if you’re trying to break into Dopey’s squad and can’t manage hat-tricks every week. But what are we talking about? Elano helped Galatasaray to a 5-1 thrashing of Denizli Belediye on Sunday. Então … acho que você é super cool agora, cara? He must now create and score every week as April’s squad-selection date looms closer!
As we’ve said before, men who dress well are our weaknesses. Check out Sergio Ramos as he disembarked from Madrid’s plane which landed in Albania. Gurlllll looks like he’s parading down the D&G runway and heading off to Project Ponyway to be on the judging panel. Ferosh!!! Can’t say the same about Jerzy Dudek, though. There are rumours that Gattuso’s restaurant needs a fish-chopping assistant. As for Raul The Great One, okay… we’ll leave it at that before the haters come prancing at us with a Heidi Montag poster.
Anyway, Madrid were in Albania to play in a friendly game or the “Taci Oil Cup”. Of course they won the game 2-1 (Potter Perez would not have tolerated anything less), Fernando Gago played and the screaming Albanian fans went home happy from the Qemal Stafa Stadium.
So Argentina’s Oscar Ruggeri is really annoyed that Argentina’s team manager, Carlos Bilardo is being a bitch and not allowing him to assume the role as The Dona’s assistant coach.
“I did everything I had to do to be in the national squad. I talked to Savino, with Grondona, with Bilardo. I’m still waiting,” said Ruggeri. “A year ago I hoped to be in the selection. A year ago I was quiet and spoke to people on the bench. I think it’s unfair. (Julio) Grondona knows how I handled 11 years in the National Team. I defended the shirt, for me it was my life.”
via AP, David Anchuelo and Globo
Oh finally, Diego and friends are starting to win… for the love of Ciro and Juve! We were starting to believe that the insults thrown at everyone from Felipe Melo to the boardroom were never going to end. But perhaps Napoli threw them a 3-0 lifeline (ok, in calcio Italia, no one ever throws you a lifeline…) which led to Del Piero’s and Diego’s goal.
Finally, here we have Greaseano WORKINGGG IT it for Armani! His eyebrows are trying to send a message to you in that photo so ya’ll better focus! The city of Milan is preparing itself for the larger-than-life ads to replace the Beckhams and before you grab that sandwich, do enjoy Greaseano’s abs and remind yourself that the mayo is never a good idea.
Meanwhile, Romario has been spotted all around Rio in his Ferrari with David Brazil, a famous club promoter in the country. We’re getting bad vibes from this photo, but really, they’re best friends more than anything else so there’s no need to dig up all those old clippings about Ronaldo Lima and the transvestites! And yes, they are really striking a ‘pose’ for ya!
via Ego, Ambito, Reuters
It looks like zio Ranieri is getting himself all worked up – or rather, excited – over the possibility of the ToniTotti pairing for Roma this weekend against Genova. He even compared the spectacle to Drogba’s favourite film, Avatar! Ok, we made that last bit up about your beloved Diving genius, but whatever you say, Tsu’tey the clan leader is still his twin.
“There are more expectations to see Totti-Toni than (the opening of) ‘Avatar’ itself” said Ranieri. By the way, the film opens to the Italian public on Friday and you know Marcello Lippi already bought his 3-D glasses in hopes of seeing the tribe’s princess in all her blueness. “Let’s hope that the captain recovers (from tendinitis). When he is fit, will talk about how he can play for Roma,” added Ranieri.
One of Argentina’s starlets, Eduardo “Toto” Salvio is set to become an Atletico Madrid player… and yes, he’s touted to be Kun Aguero’s replacement (so that he can finally make that dream move to wherever he wants). Los colchoneros fans must be thrilled!
It cost 8 million to bring Toto to the club (caro, tal vez?) because his former club, Lanús charged EUR 6.8 million and the Argentine Football Association paid an additional 1.2 million euros. The rest will be paid in installments and the player arrives in Madrid on Friday. Toto is probably frantically packing away now, knowing that neither Forlan nor Kun will not be sharing their toothpaste tubes with him!
The Barca Elections are back and while the club’s vice-president, Jaume Ferrer, has declared that he wants to run for position of president this year, Joan Laporta feels “hurt to learn this from the media” instead of from Ferrer directly. “Of course we not limit the choices of anyone to be president and we have already discussed this,” Laporta said.
One interesting addition to the Barca elections if the grand-daughter of the club’s founder itself, Emma Gamper. She will be backing candidate Jaume Guixà, who is also running for presidency. “ Is a great thrill for any (of us) to have the legacy of Joan Gamper in their ranks and I have this privilege,” said Guixa.
As always… here’s a spoof from the Crackovia folks about Sandro Rosell - the club’s former director, who is also running for president. Genial!
After weeks of rally and support, it has now emerged that River Plate’s promising midfielder, Diego Buonanotte may be discharged from the hospital in two days following his horrifying car accident which claimed the lives of his three friends.
“He’s a very peaceful guy, he’s not a “night-man” and he was not drunk. It was a tragedy, his friends died and nobody expected that. He was so sad and I couldn’t believe it. I hopes he can get over this and find peace in his life,” says a River Plate futbolita, Sabrina, 18 from Buenos Aires.
“Everything went as planned for the operation. Now, we can only wait for his recovery,” said Pedro Hansen, River’s medical chief. As they say in Argentina, Fuerza Diego!
Meanwhile, Greaseano has hit back at Osasuna fans who yelled vulgarities at him at Real’s last game, including the evergreen “hijo puta es” and “Cristiano muérete!” It’s rare to want to be on his side, but this time, we must say that he gets the last laugh.
“Being made unwelcome (during matches) is normal to me. I’ve been there many times in England and ended up being voted the best player in the world.” Ouch!
Look who scored in Milan’s 5-2 thrashing of Genoa last night? The Italian Stallion, himself, Boriello…. and (brace yourselves), Huntelaar! All we can say is they both did a good job of covering for Pato while he was out spreading garlic butter with Sthef. As for Huntelaar, scoring via penalty doesn’t constitute much, but it’s still a goal and unless you do something else, no one is going to be very impressed. At least he did better than The Dinho, who failed to convert a spot-kick… but listen, Thiago Silva scored too OK?
Il Davide featured in the game too (of course) and Leonardo said he “trained in all positions” due to the unexpected injuries prior to the game. So how do things look for Juventus this weekend, then, uomini?
Jan 05 2010
Posted by Ash as Daily
Ah, someone’s ego has been bruised! And it’s none other than your favourite Cabezazo or headbutter, Materazzi!! Since he’s merely shaking his legs at Inter these days, all talk of the World Cup is practically irrelevant to him. Well, not like the tournament needs a crying circus anyway.“I know where I will be on June 11, the day of the first match of the World Cup: in my trailer traveling in America. I will not be watching the tournament (and I do not know the time (of the matches),” Materazzi declared to La Repubblica. Run along then, Cabebazo!
So Tio ThunderThighs, better known as Roberto Carlos was unveiled as an official Corinthiano alongside his own figurine yesterday. At least the figurine looked more tolerant than the man himself. Anyway, tio will now play alongside his best friend from 2002, Ronaldo Lima… and they will now proceed to spend more weekends watering plants together. “Ronaldo is not my friend, he is my brother. I lived longer with him than with my own family,” ThunderThighs said. He then added : “Listening to this mass (of people) screaming my name is creepy. The reward will be given on the field.”
Here’s another classic New Year’s eve Crackòvia episode. This one features the characters of Guti and Ramos ringing in 2010 by eating 12 grapes, dancing to techno (as usual) and dressing up in… cloaks! Espanyol’s Raul Tamudo (the same character who played Leo Messi) also enforced this tradition on his guests, Nakamura and goalie, Carlos Kameni. And if you observe Tamudo’s sofa lining carefully, it’s draped with a Real Madrid banner!
You’ve seen him flop at Bayern… but did you see the Luca Toni Going Away party that he threw before his move to Roma? Here it is! With plenty of booze and a light-headed Ribery. At least his new Roma boss, Ranieri Doubtfire loves him. “He is in better shape than I expected. He will now play against Cagliari. Roma is different with Luca Toni,” he declared.
via Reuters, TV3 and Gazetta dello Sport
Alan Kardec is now officially a Benfica player! Of course you remember him… he’s the U-20 Brazil wanderkid from Vasco. Yes, there are thousands (and probably millions) of “Brazilian Wanderkids” but damn, tipo over here is a fineeeee one! Anyway, upon his arrival in Lisbon yesterday, Kardec spent 2 hours at the airport finalizing legal documents and unfortunately, did not grant interviews to any of journalists. But that’s because none of them were wearing bikinis!
Ah, lovely! Senhor Mourn-In-HoHo was at Stamford Bridge to witness Diving Drogba in action last night. Ever the hardworking coach, Mourinho is already taking notes prior to their Champions League encounter with Chelski next February. This man is a workaholic and you can almost imagine him saying, “Please don’t call me arrogant but in Jose world, there is no room for mistakes.” Oh please, in Jose world, there will be a special corner selling Ballackwursts, Ibrahimovic posters at half-price and CDS containing trance remixes of “I think I’m the special one” How can you not be arrogant if you have all that?!
That’s Kun Aguero in happier days… before he pulled a Tiger Woods on Gianinna, of course. Sometimes, all you gotta do is to stop being a Douche and everything can be normal again. And perhaps things are looking up for Kun (maybe not in the national team – if The Dona really believes that blood is thicker than water) according to the latest round of gossip.
Now, it seems that Potter Perez wants to bring Kun to Real Madrid next July and is willing to shell out €60 million to see him wear white. He doesn’t mind Villa either – but it seems pretty unlikely at this point. As for Kun, in order to complete Phase 3 of the glitzy Bachelor lifestyle, he must move to the Bernabeu. Because, que es lo que quieres, verdad?
The Dona is missing! Don’t bother… he’s just hiding somewhere in Barcelona. He’s supposed to be serving a suspension until January 15, remember? And now that his C-team is playing a friendly against Catalonia two days before Christmas, the Argentinean press is reporting that he’s been seen everywhere but the pitch. Yeah, that means he’s holed up in his hotel room with nothing but WII.
Anyway, whatever he’s doing in Barcelona (seriously), he’s not allowed to eat with the players or come into contact with them – except through his aides. And still, The Dona is walking around wearing the official training kit. If you see him, don’t forget to ask him about Kun Aguero.
Meanwhile, Milan’s Uncle Fester Galliani has declared Marco van Basten as AC Milan’s “Best Signing Ever”. Well, they asked him about Sheva, Pato and Kaka but he doesn’t seem all that impressed with them.
“When you make assessments of this kind you need to consider value for money. For we paid 7 million euros, but there is another signing that I feel is unbeatable and I speak of a certain Dutchman. If Pato wins ten golden balls, then it would be different, but until then Van Basten will remain our best buy,” he said.
It’s the Luis Fabiano Rap by a cara named Professor Pablo. Well, of course he deserves his own song… they should play this during the team birthdays!
Probably the most exciting news of all for the Milan tifosi is the fact that Gangsta Gattuso has extended his contract till 2012! Forget Man City, he’s going to stay and fight. And obviously, the general consensus is that everyone is excited… except Mark Hughes of course. “In this way, with a few lines on paper, all insecurities and doubts are swept away because some loves are stronger even with (other) concerns,” wrote the folks over at AC Milan, following the signing of the contract. Yes, this is truly an opera.
So the Green Point City stadium located in the heart of Cape Town is now open for business! This is where one of the semi-final matches of the World Cup will be played at and it has a capacity of 68,000. Well, it looks a tad bit like the Bernabeu – although we aren’t really experts on stadium architecture, we hope to see Puyol or Fabulousooo there next June. They’d better be there, we’re loading up our water guns already.
So Pepe has been sidelined for six months due to a torn cruciate ligament in his knee. He will undergo surgery next week and the recovery process is expected to be a very dull and long one. After all, it’s Real Madrid and in six months, you can travel to the moon and back, fall out of favour with Raul, persuade Billy Joel sing with Gago and release a blockbuster film about Potter Perez’s legacy featuring Bruce Willis. Hey, but at least everybody loves Pepe. Check out the messages for him : -
Marcelo: “You know how much I love you, brother. You will return soon because you are strong and because this team misses you. Just wait to see how quickly you’ll be up and running again.”
Casillas: “Pepe, we love you very much. All are thoughts are with you. You are a great player and person. This team will fight for you. Get well soon.”
Cristiano Ronaldo: “Stay strong, Pepe. Come back soon. We love you a lot.”
Ramos: “We are here for you, brother. The greats always come back, and you are one of them. We hope to see you soon. Strength and patience.”
Bayern may have qualified for the Champs League (quello che è successo, Juve?!) but Luca Toni is saying goodbye for real, and van Gaal himself has already returned his Laura Pausini CD to the striker.
“I have nothing else to talk to Luca Toni about. He has made it clear he wants to leave Bayern Munich, therefore, he can start looking for a new club. It is too late to come up with excuses now. He should have thought about it before. He decided to behave in a (certain way) and he did not achieve what we (planned) for him and therefore, there is no more place for him in Bayern Munich,” said the coach.
According to German newspapers, West Ham, Fenerbahce, Roma and Inter Milan have shown in the attacker. And yes, he does want to go back to Italy but Luca, you do not want to incur the wrath of Jose Mourinho!
Yes, that’s Diego looking all morose and arty. And you can’t really blame him. Tipos failed to find their footing in the most important European competition. Their elimination and humiliating 4-1 loss to Bayern screams utter humiliation! What about all those purchases they made? Melooooo!!!
“It’s hard to find words because in this case there is very little to say and so much to do,” admitted Del Piero. “There is not only one culprit, it is not who is more or less guilty. We all equally share the blame with no exceptions and we will all fight together to get out of this situation.”
Before you start getting excited over that photo (thanks Somosche), we must tell you that David Albelda’s sense of humour is pretty darn awesome. And in case you haven’t heard, he’s got the personality of a 8 year old boy whose joy can be found in a Kinder Egg.
Anyway, as ya’ll know, Real and Valencia will face off this weekend and David Silva has been ruled out of the game due to his injury. So of course, they had to ask Albelda a few cliché questions at the pre-match conference.
“We do not have Silva and we are not taking the pain in the ass every day!” Albelda declared. He was also asked about the absence of Ronaldo at the Mestalla (after receiving a double booking) The reporters laughed his response but he added fuel to the fire by saying : “Do not laugh, it’s true, dammit!”
Come to think of it, Geri Pique will be a perfect addition to cast of Twilight (Pique as Jacob Black, is that you?). He’s got the smouldering vampire look that will put the likes of Robert-I-don’t-shampoo-my-hair-Pattyson to shame!
The last time that happened to us, a friend from the selecao came to our rescue (Agradeço a Deus!) The trick is to scream at 92 decibels.
Also, who cares if you’re royalty? It’s pathetic that they can’t teach their children any basic manners – they were tugging at Lucio’s shirt while he was doing an interview and he looked disturbed (você está inculto?).
Photo via Reuters
Comentários