Why so serious, tipo? Worrying about when Dopey will call you up next? Não se preocupe, ele ainda está pensando … and yes, there isn’t much change to the official ‘camisa da selecao’ although Pato claims that it’s a lot lighter in texture. “It really looks good and the body and material greatly facilitates the attacker,” he said. Manos will also be wearing it for the first time next week against Ireland and if you’d like to see the blue shirt, it was launched at Carnaval and looks like this!

Also, our fashion amigos are going to love the fact that this year’s Copa del Mundo jerseys are all made from plastic bottles! Yes, approximately EIGHT bottles were used to make each jersey. How ingenious!

Lastly, the Brazilian press are speculating that Pato looks pissed because he was picked as an ‘emergency option’ for the event in London. Fabulouso, Dani Alves, Adriano and Robinho were not released by their respective teams and feared The Dinho’s appearance would cause a controversy. Esta é a fofoca!

via Nike, Gettyimages, AFP

Anyway, everyone’s excited and preparing their sandwiches with more gusto now because once again, The Dinho put in an excellent performance against Bari last night! Besides Baggio’s Twin, El Pato also netted in the other penalty and also remembered to shave his Wolverine beard off. Desculpe, mas você ainda não estão na seleção…. (sorry but you are still not going to the selecao)

Speaking of the seleção, please don’t interrupt Diego and Amauri as they perform the Dança Bandeira (flag dance). Tipos were working their HIPS off as they celebrate Juve’s neat 2-1 win over Bologna last night! Who cares if they were ignored by Dopey or Lippy in their respective national teams? It was time to celebrate!

The bad news is they always photograph the visiting teams when they come to the San Siro, but gracias a Dios we have a couple of the Milanistas training on their own including El Pato’s raver shoe. You know you’ll be able to spot that colour in the dark…. all he needs now are a couple of glow sticks and the look is complete!

Senhor Leoooonardo has stressed the importance of focus in today’s game. That’s right tipos, ya’ll better CONCENTRATE and the last thing Pallone d’Oro (Golden Balls) Beckham needs to do is to get emotionally attached….and he already is! ánimo!!!

“We must be almost perfect, flawless. I want to see the same performance I saw at Real Madrid during the group stage; I think that was our best game this season and when we played the best football. We must repeat that,” said Leonardo.

Photos via Stefano Guindani for Dolce & Gabbana

Guti has quickly transformed himself into a disgruntled Real Madrid employee (oooh, ¡caray!) after being confronted by journos last week. It’s no secret that he has fallen out of favour with tío Pellegrini, so obviously they HAD to ask the million-dollar question about leaving the club (no, not that Ibiza dance club!) Yeah, we can almost sense the pressure and it’s not looking very good.

“I would like to end my contract at Real Madrid but it is also true that I would love to be able to play for another team,” he said. “To be able to enjoy another culture, to be able to enjoy another life, other team-mates, another league. It is true that I’ve had a very nice time at Real Madrid, that Madrid is a city where I wanted to live all my life, and now I want to leave Madrid.”

Oh, how apt! The Italian Football Oscars (Oscar del Calcio) took place one day after the Golden Globes and Ibracadabra won the title of Best Footballer for 2009. In his acceptance speech, he said he “missed Italy and Mourinho” as well, but is now growing “fond of Spain” (well… duh!)

Julio Cesar – who arrived late for the ceremony – and El Pato won for Best Goalkeeper and Best Young Player respectively, to which Pato said : “We will not play in the derby!” Meanwhile, Chiellini of Juventus won for best defender (or number of times one bleeds in the game) and the Best Italian Football Player award went to Daniele de Rossi.

Check out the videos!

via Gettyimages, SportItalia

So these days, The Dinho’s form is picking up and everyone – your hamster included – believes there’s good chance he’ll be called up to the selecao. The dude’s still got it in him, of course, but what’s worrying is his fluctuating stamina. Sometimes, he runs like a florist on the way to pick up a basket of Daisies.

“He still likes to party into the night as he celebrated victory over Juventus in a nightclub,” said one Italian journalist, Mattia Fontana.  “They said in December that he would be barred from the game against Fiorentina because of one of these escapades. But the game didn’t take place because of bad weather in Italy at that time. In other words, his behavior has not changed, but he found a coach who helped him a lot.”

All The Dinho needs now is consistency and looking at that photo above, probably a shampoo and conditioner from The Body Shop for El Pato’s dry hair. Futbolitas, time to go old school again…

via AP, Globo

This looks like an ad for D&G don’t you think?! Seriously, what is Palle d’oro even doing on the pitch? All of us already have nightmares of Luca Toni with his new number 30 shirt and now GoldenBalls has returned to wreak havoc on the city of Milan. Prepare yourselves, amici!

Well, at least Balls of Gold is honest with himself about that nightmare move to the Bernabeu in 2003. “I only won something in my last year at Real Madrid. I would have stayed in Manchester until the end of my career,” he said, implying that he does indeed regret listening to whispers from the coat-wearing uncles at Real.

In other news, only €63 million and Galliani’s fake acting separates O Pato from a Madrid move. They’re targetting a July transfer but of course he’s not che stupido, right?

The circus has returned to Milanello! With the return of Palloni d’oro (GoldenBalls Becks), photographers are clamoring to do the “Danger, Kuno Becker!” shots outside the training ground. Poor Boriello, all he wanted was to get home presto and unwrap his brand new 2010 Eros Ramazzotti calendar.

Speaking of Boriello, he recently did an interview with Vanity Fair where he proved just how much of an Italian Stallion he is. He declared : “I am a passionate, but I don’t depend on sex. Those who don’t have (enough) sex will find that it’s (lacking) in their lives. I’m lucky to know that if I want sex, I can have at any time. And then I like traditional things, nothing kinky, no transsexuals.” Qualunque cosa! You can almost imagine him saying that proudly with his 3-D glasses that he got from watching Avatar.

Here’s the rest of the Milan troupe with various “At The Wheel” facial expressions. El Pato looks like he’s seen Willy Wonka... seriously, mano?!

via AFP, Reuters

No no, not Ronaldinho but Patinho! The award is officially called the “Golden Boy” award and is given out by Italian newspaper, Tuttosport. It recognizes the best U-21 player in the game, and Pato won most of the votes this year – beating out Balotelli, Bobojan and Ghana’s Adiyiah. Quite amazing, for esse cara who hasn’t been called up to the selecao in recent months!

Anyway, here Pato waxes lyrical about his interest to see Rafael da Silva clinch the next edition of the award (from one jovem to the next!) and his memories at Internacional, where he was pretty much a cracker. Which is a nicer word for “douche”, which we can’t bring ourselves to say.

“I see many familiar faces. I like Jovetic, who eliminated Liverpool in the Champions League with a double. I like Balotelli, I like (Bojan) Krkicand I like Adiyiah, a very fast striker who made my cry Brazil in Under-20 World Cup final in Cairo where his Ghana won on penalties,” said Pato. “But above all, I can say I have many friends and countrymen in the list of candidates. Beginning with the Benfica defender Sidnei: we arrived when we were 11 in the youth team of Internacional in Porto Alegre and spent six seasons together. Then Rodrigo Possebon, now at Sporting Braga on Manchester United – he comes from the same school. And as for Rafael da Silva, I root for him to become the next Golden Boy.”

via Tuttosport, AP

• What’s with the Wolverine look? He looks 91 instead of 19… tipo needs a razor blade. Now! Unfortunately, Milan only managed a 1-1 draw against Marseille last night. The good thing is that Boriello scored (and has been doing a great deal of that lately). As a result, we’ve been left to eat our own words… è triste.
  
  “I am very relaxed and above all happy to be playing again, as six weeks ago I was in the stands,” declared Boriello. “Now I am playing, scoring goals and since I came back the team hasn’t lost a game. It’s great to feel the faith of the fans and the Coach. I can hear they call my name more when I step on to the field.” Alas, they were actually yelling “Boboboring…!”

• Meanwhile, Rafaella Fico’s boyfriend (according to her), the Greaseano himself, made his long-awaited return to futbol last night against FC Zurich. Yes, rapaz is desperately in need of a tan but everything else looks in place. The Pied Piper of Higuain scored the only goal last night and as usual, it was a beauty. Oi Pellegrini, forget Raul The Great One… start Pipita in all the games with Benzema!

• Remember when Cirque du Soleil welcomed The Dinho backstage a few months back? Well,  Nene, the Brazilian striker from Monaco was also recently invited backstage to hang out with the performers from the awesome circus troupe. Said the former Palmeiras man : “I met four Brazilians who work as artists and coordinate the show. They complimented me and said they are very happy that a Brazilian is the top scorer of the French Championship.” Clowns are the best!!
  



via marabelo (Youtube), Reuters & Globo