Fútbolita

So the boys of Corinthians joined their fans and celebrity friends in yesterday’s centenary celebrations! More than 130,000 people packed the Vale do Anhangabaú, Sao Paulo’s equivalent of the Hyde Park region (or slightly better, amicis?) Que legal! In the midsts of all the celebrations and Lula-loving, somebody forgot to call Pele. How dare they!

According to the Brazilian media, many fans who packed the place “suffered a lot, were overwhelmed by the crowd and tried to break into the press area, but the police acted quickly and prevented them from doing more.”

“This is a wonderful party, just gotta thank you,” said Ronaldo Lima to the adoring crowd. “I will not say too much or I may cry,” he added, singing a congratulatory song for the club.

via Globoesporte

Drop your sewing machines NOW because Saint Robinho has arrived back at Santos!!!! And amigas, his welcome home party was like a prelude to Carnaval itself – without the floats of course. As always, King Pele made his presence known to everyone at the Urbano Caldeira by breaking into one of his 2,134 speeches. Then, Robinho and himself gazed into one another’s eyes and they ran through the field with their arms interlocked. We’re not kidding! Sthefany Brito called and she wants them to be in her next soap opera called Páginas do Futebolista Falha.

On a serious note, Robster sobbed to journalist about his time at Madrid. Yeah yeah, we know he was mistreated, left out of Raul’s numerous tea-parties and basically, benched like there was no tomorrow. Você é tão CHATO, cara! (you’re so boring, dude).

“I went the wrong way from Real Madrid. I know that the fans will never understand. But it was the only time. My departure from City was on friendly terms. We talked and they released me. There was no controversy,” he said.

via AP/Reuters

So we all know that Rio will be hosting the 2016 Olympics… but the man of the moment has to be Felipe Andreoli, the host of CQC, a popular TV show in Latin America and parts of Europe (you may remember this Chilean tipo teasing players at the Bernabeu). As for Felipe, he went around chasing the Brazilian contingent with an obscene photo of Pelé, shared the ‘good’ parts of Rio with other delegates, cut an onion to make himself cry to get a hug from President Lula and went on a separate mission to give a number 13 shirt to Obama. In all, eu amo esse programa!

(Muito obrigada por isso, Mari!)

Parabens to Rio de Janeiro… hosts of the 2016 Olympic Games! Let’s take a short break away from futbol, shall we, and celebrate… like the sexy pessoas did at Copacabana yesterday! Pele was in tears but they didn’t bother to fly his best friend Romario to Copenhagen to hand him a tissue (they could’ve easily invited Ronaldo along too and played the ‘we’re a football crazy nation’ card but alas, Lula knew the importance of being modest). 

Also, Madrid’s candidacy video actually showed Kaka (seriously now…) so that was a big no-no. Potter Perez’s monetary flamboyance will not go down well with the tios working for IOC. It must be sad for Madrid, however. They failed in their quest to host the games for the second time in a row. Raul The Great One looked exasperated… like a Brocolli in distress.

Anyway, we’ve calculated and the current crop of U-15 Brazil boys have a good chance of representing the Brazil squad in 2016. Who knows? Neymar could even captain the side. Oh caras, this makes us feel old.

via Gettyimages

It never ends does it? Maradona VS Pele Round 11024 has officially commenced! Fortunately this time, King Pele picked his battles well and chose the perfect moment to take a dig at The Dona - when the Argentineans are struggling to accept his failures as national coach. Uh-oh…

“People talk about the best being Pele or Diego Maradona, but for me the best player ever was Alfredo Di Stefano,” Pele told reporters in Madrid. “Maradona was a great player, but he could not kick with his right foot and did not score goals with his head. The only time he scored an important goal with his head, it turned out he had used his hand,” he added.

Oh God, these tios need to go on a nice Honeymoon together to the Maldives and talk things out. Perhaps El Pato can help them since he wants to buy an island there…

via Reuters

Ok, Marta throwing a baseball at a LA Dodgers game is pretty random. They should’ve included a bonus round with Mickey Mouse Beckham as he elegantly manhandles a Javelin. What a spectacle that would’ve been.

On a more serious note, Pele will officially announce Marta as a Santos player in the squad’s attempt to win the first ever female edition of the Libertadores Cup on October 4th. And guess who else will be playing alongside her? Our favorite chica de fútbol, Cristiane!!!

“Santos have a great project for women’s football and our intention is to leverage the sport in the country. Having the best in the world playing in Brazil will be important to create that identity and to get new partners,” said the club’s president, Marcelo Teixeira.

The tournament only runs for 3 weeks and we’re guessing Marta’s life at Los Angeles Sol will resume after that. And Pele probably thought of this when they sat him with Marta at last year’s FIFA Annual Gala dinner. They needed convo fillers for those in-between numbers….

Photo via AP

Oh King Pele! Never fear, your crown will never be taken from you… unless the person holding it is The Dona!

Anyway, he’s spoken again about recent “betrayals” in world football because back in his time, there were no multi-million dollar deals and everyone was 100% committed to their clubs. In those days, they even allowed journalists to go up to the hotels to speak to players without batting an eyelid! Lovely.

“In my time, it was all very different. There were no major sponsors behind a team.  It is good that big companies support the world of football but it is also right that FIFA monitors and limits certain salaries,” said Pele.

“A footballer today goes to Real Madrid and kisses the shirt,” he added. “He will go to Milan tomorrow and repeat the same gesture. These are aspects which we need to focus our attention on so that our young kids (won’t) follow.”

Romario’s favourite musuem artefect, Pelé, has taken a dig at Maradona again. When will this two ever stop?

“Maradona was a great player, but my mom says that I was better. What can I do?” he joked at a recent event in Montevidéu.

And you can expect the The Dona to be furious and accuse Pele of pedophilia within the next few hours. Uh, as if Maradona and Kun aren’t up to anything behind Gianina’s back! Ok, just joking pessoas. Sentarse, OK?

Anyway, Pele also believes that football’s top accolades belong to Leo Messi this year. “I delivered this award to Ronaldinho Gaúcho, Kaká and last year to Cristiano Ronaldo. Coincidentally, Messi was in second place. This year, no doubt, he deserves to be elected (as World Player of the Year).”

Also, in the photo above, Uncle Pelé wants you to know that he can still run and expects Dunga to call him up to take up the free spot made available by Dani Alves. Damn, he’s even wearing yellow. King Pele to score a hat-trick!

Dunga (pictured here with your favourite tio, Pele and the mayor of Sao Paulo) has sensationally claimed that Ronaldo Lima will not be called up to play for the selecao in the near future. Errr.. no surprises there!

According to Estado de S. Paulo, coach does not intend to include Ronaldo in the squad’s future campaigns – including the remaining World Cup qualifying fixtures and next month’s Confederations Cup. Dunga thinks that “Ronaldo needs to play a long series of matches in order to be fully recovered and fit. For now, he won’t have a chance to wear the shirt.”

Dopey also added that the “World Cup qualifiers are more challenging than the games in the Paulista championships, where Ronaldo has (clearly) performed well and scored goals.”

The official squad list for the Confederations Cup will be announced on May 21. For now, feel free to draw up your own!

Pelé aka Romario’s favorite museum artefect has blamed the press again for issuing blatant statements on Robinho’s alleged ‘drug problem’. Oh man, Avô (grandfather) took the easy way out!

With all due respect, Pele, you were once the greatest player but there is no need to get all nostalgic about something that never happened…

“Real Madrid wanted me, along with Manchester United, and Juventus,” he told Eurocalcio. “In fact, the Juventus president almost reached a deal with Santos which included support from Fiat. I thought about coming to Europe a lot, but I preferred to stay with the team in my heart, Santos.”

“Today there are few players remaining who do what I did, or what Kaká does. It upsets me a lot to see players changing teams so often and always kissing the badge,” he said.

A few years ago, I transcribed a 45-minute tape interview my colleague did with Pele out of favour and curiosity. ‘Long-winded’ doesn’t even begin to describe it. Pele spoke about his father for a good 10 minutes, how he scored his ‘first goal’ for Santos (that took the next 20) and failed to answer to the point about Brazilian football as it is now… preferring instead to dwell on the past. The poor man needs to chill!