So the million dollar question for you Greaseañies today is – WOULD YOU TAP THAT? Well, mano looked pretty clean cut at at the launch of his “I’m wearing this for the World Cup” Nike boot launch yesterday. And the Portugal jacket looks ridiculously comfortable (almost like the blue/white selecao bootcamp ones!) Anyway, he also revealed that he speaks to Kaka a lot because they understand a common language and they both share hope for a Brazil/Portugal final on July 11. Você acredita? (do you believe?)
Here’s another brilliant Crackovia episode again – this time featuring two Barca presidential candidates on their way to watch Barca play Stuttgart. Nunez and Gaspart approach the counter to purchase a ticket at the airport – but Nunez is taken aback at the price. You’ll love his classic reaction!
We were surprised at Senhor Julio Cesar’s poor eye injury last night. It kinda reminded us of Rustu Recber, the intimidating Turkish goalkeeper who happens to be our amiga’s favourite goalie of all time – don’t ask. Anyway, it’s high time we applaud the Inter manos for their hard work – particularly Lucio, who has been hailed by the Brazilian press for his performance against Chelski last night. Also, what a stunner from Diegol…. and Cambiasso!!
So it looks like Rojiblancos have done Potter Perez and friends a favour by handing Barca their first defeat of the season. No no estés triste… there’s nothing to panic about yet, Los Cules, because no one expected you to be invincible. 22 wins without losing is still magnífico! Anyway, the Madridistas are thrilled because Jersey Shore reject Simão and Diego Forlan’s vampire eyes scored two goals to send Pep and co’ on the first trip out of Vicente Calderon. Looking at the last photo below, Simao remembered not to look into the Messiah’s eyes and successfully contained him in their 2-1 win.
A great moral boost for Atletico… they’ve been mulling on this for the longest time. Time to thrill the fans, tipos!
via Reuters
One upon a time, before the grease, step overs and the Jersey Shore Makeover, Greaseaño was a shy young lad. “Este menino tem potencial,” said a deep voice in his head while he was filing his nails in Madeira. Alas, today that young boy has turned into an exquisite creature – one who quickly morphed into a tipo legal in our books after a nice 1am phone conversation. There’s no point being in denial, futbolitas. You will discover it someday too. Also, in our opinion, Greaseano remains one of the most professional “jugadores” to date. So today, quickly pick up all the spray tan cans you can find and sing: “Feliz Cumpleañossssss!!!”
“Quien es mas guapo…. quien tiene mas sex appeal? Cristiano, tu Cristiano! Pim Pam Pim Pam…”
In many ways, it’s good that the Rojiblancos are starting to realize that they’re entitled to purchase a few new manos to save themselves. So President Enrique Cerezo did not waste any time during this short and cruel January transfer window (ha-ha) and aptly summoned the services of Juventus’s Tiago!
Of course, the Portuguese International is one of 4255th other footballers dying for a taste of first-team football to make their World Cup squads. For now, it’s looking a bit like a shoe sale frenzy. “Rápido! Esta es la mitad del precio!” they scream.
Anyway, Tiago denies all of this absurd accusations so we shall put our hands together and be silent. “I have not come to Atleti because of the World Cup because I believe that I have the confidence of Queiroz. I am here to play in Spanish football and to help this team,” he said. Be good, Tiago, and you too will receive a warm hug from the fans.
Ok, aqui, para voce… it’s a Saviola turkey Sandwich, so you’d better take it for the road!
Anyway, besides the fact that tipo looks disturbingly suffocated and elated at the same time, who wouldn’t be – especially after scoring the winning goal in last night’s derby of such importance against Porto right? Even the incredible Hulk couldn’t manage that and all he could do was to look at his green hands!
Meanwhile, Bruno Alves complained on national TV after the game that “The conditions were not very good and the pitch did not let the ball move.” In addition, the Porto captain – and probably Amauri’s Portuguese bro (which would make them colonial brothers – get it?) said that his side did not have ‘many opportunities’. Oi man, just go home and open that bottle of wine, OK?
It’s Saturday and all of you are probably stuffed with turkey or lamb (depends on which part of the world you come from), but a nice music video wouldn’t do us all any harm… especially if it involves someone who looks like a combination of Simão and Felipe Melo. O huy there, you didn’t think we’d leave them alone now, did you? Especially when we finally found their long-lost twin brother, Simaolo being all sexy and shit in Nelly Furtado’s latest music video, “Mas”. The hair is looking a tad bit like Spock but cara has got the badass Brazilian thang going, so enjoy!
Altogether now, sing…”más de tu corazón más… de tu emoción más!!!!”
So Werder Bremen thrashed Freiburg 6-0 last night in the Bundesliga (See, they don’t even need Diego aka Survivor Contestant No. 91255 these days). As for Hugo Almeida, we’ve not heard from him for a while so it was finally nice to see the Portuguese striker helping himself to a double.
Also, did you know that Almeida is lovely family man who he doesn’t travel anywhere without a photo of his two daughters, Marianna and Matilde? His wife, Andreia added that he doesn’t go anywhere without his “mobile phone, computer and PSP” either. Ah, isso é muito típico ... She added that the ‘most difficult time’ for the family was when Hugo had to go play at the Euro 2008.
“Once, he forgot his phone in Viseu and I had to go all the way there to collect it for him,” Andreia recalled. Now now, isn’t that what a mulher is for? We’re off to find a broom now….
My my, The Figos look absolutely perfeito in that photo snapped in Paris last week! In many ways, it’s good that the Portuguese midfielder decided to retire from football completely… He could teach dear Guti below a thing or two about wearing proper pants.
The family roamed the streets of Paris and wreaked havoc just by standing by the corner of the street! Figo’s wife, Helen went into Tartine et Chocolat to purchase perfumes for their three daughters. Yes, you can just imagine the number of times he’s had to hear “New Moon” in the last few weeks.
We’re not fully up to date with Guti’s love life (we usually let our amigas at Kickette do the job) but here he is with horrid looking pants. My dad thinks he needs to stop playing football completely, and ya’ll know that his days at Madrid at numbered following his reported outburst. “I’m a guy who never stops, day or night. I like to enjoy the night with my friends. I don’t see myself going to nightclubs until six in the morning when I’m 60, I see myself doing that now,” was what he told Spanish TV. Kkkk, hacer lo que quieras …
Apparently, his latest girlfriend’s name is Paula and they met recently at a Madrid nightclub (no surprise) and then started dating. They arrived in Ibiza relaxed and happy. It’s Ibeeetha people!!! Everyone’s happy there.
Bruno Alves may be Portugal’s Man of the Moment, but our sad and forgotten hero is Greaseano. He returned to training with the Pellegrini Pack yesterday, after witnessing his national team’s narrow 1-0 victory over Bosnia. No one came to ask him if he wanted M&Ms during half time, so do forgive his bitterness.
“Seeing my mates down there on the pitch, and (the fact that I) could not help them was really hard. I felt helpless because the emotions are really different. I must admit I suffered (during) a very important game for Portugal,” he told the Spanish dailies, immediately after the game.
By the way, have you seen Mama Dolores’ leopard prints? That woman needs to be rescued by Andre Arshavin’s stylist pronto!
Our eyes!! Sálvanos! Our friends here want you to pay attention to the Crease on the Grease in this picture …. can you see it? Many of you chicas may be wondering why we had to put you through the pain of Greaseano Watching two weekends in a row. Yes, it’s sad but he makes it so easy for us, sometimes. In a span of a few days, we’ve established that 1) he can’t sing, 2) cries for love 3) enjoys getting his feet massaged 4) is loved by Peruvian witch doctors and 5) can’t wear his shorts properly. Amazing!
Anyway, tipo over here is posing in what appears to be his Castrol Ranking spot. He looks amazingly annoyed to be in third place, and although Titipo Henry and The Messiah both preceded him in by coming in first and second respectively, Kaka ended up in 85th place. That’s absurd! One more thing – Milan’s Christian Abbiati was hailed as the “best performing goalkeeper of the last 12 months”. For someone who conceded 27 goals in 28 appearances, that does not make sense. Dammi il pane… now.
Ei futbolitas, many of us may be familiar with the louco Brazilian CQC gang (even Felipe Andreoli officially knows how much nós adoramos!) In case you happen to be living under Fabio Capello’s rock, it’s a politically-incorrect current affairs programme that stands for ‘Caiga Quien Caiga’. You can still catch up with their madcap antics… no sienten miedo.
Anyway, perhaps you’ll remember The Dona’s visit to Inter’s camp earlier this year when Mooourinho couldn’t help but ask for an autograph. Well, Miguel Rocha from CQC Portugal went stalking the Argentinean around the Giuseppe Meazza and posed absurd questions to Hernan Crespo, which were met with equally classic one-word answers. “I invite you to come play for Portugal, OK?” he said to which Ragdoll Crespo nodded! Special guest appearance from Ibracadabra included.
So Your Lady of perpetual Grease is enjoying a feet massage and earning £16000 a minute, just by just sitting there and being a Douche. Ok, não se zangue, he’s just recuperating and according to los blancos, he’s focused on “getting rid of (his) bone edema (injury) by lymph drainage, a process used to alleviate the damaged zone.”
“My ankle no longer hurts, I think I am ready to play,” he declared. Also, he wants to play the return leg of the Milan-Madrid game at the San Siro on November 3. Oh yes, they do need him now, do they?
In addition, Greaseano has been doing contrasting exercises in cold and warm water in the pool and has been at the gym toning his muscles. Meanwhile, his Amor Mio Raffaella Fico is nowhere to be seen (that’s not her fo’sho). And if you haven’t seen the edited version of his musical masterpiece yet, watch it below. Our housemates are throwing frisbees on the door for having it on loudspeaker. Ayuda!!!!
Não, não! Looks like your Greaseano is down with an injury, which will leave him out of the major game against Milan next week. No problem. After all, the stage is all set for Kaka to face his former club next Wednesday. At least Armani’s new centerfold over here will have time with Rafaella Fico. Plenty of time to learn how to pose … ferosha style!
“After the medical examination and the failure to recover from the injury he has suffered in his right ankle, Cristiano Ronaldo was given permission to leave the Portugal national squad,” read a statement from the Portuguese federation. “Therefore, the player cannot play the team’s next match on Wednesday, October 14, in Guimaraes, against Malta.”
Was Paris Hilton’s alleged voodoo plot successful? Meanwhile, enjoy the making of this bank ad with him… You know you want to!
So your favorite bros have probably done everything together – except Ibiza because Kaka doesn’t drink or dance. Here they share their experiences about being a member of Perez’s second project!
ON THEIR PRESENTATION
Kaká: It was a fantastic experience. In Italy the player presentation is different so it was all new to me – to have a full stadium like that really impressed me. It was very emotional. I felt honoured to be at a club that is recognised worldwide for its history, achievements and tradition of famous players.
Ronaldo: I felt great happiness. As I’ve said before, playing for Real Madrid was a boyhood dream and I finally realised it. To wear the shirt in a full stadium was a source of great satisfaction and pride, something I’ll never forget. These are the moments you never forget.
ON THE NEW ‘GALACTICO’ ERA
Ronaldo: I don’t like to use the word “Galácticos”. Simply, we have a fantastic group with great players and we all want to form a team that will win things. The Galácticos have gone – that was a different era, one that I respect a lot because of what it represented and the players they had, great players who made history at the club. But now we have a new group with new players, a new mentality, and we too want to win.
Kaká: I agree with Cristiano. The age of the Galácticos – all fantastic players – was a marvellous period but this is a different generation, a different formation with different players. In the end I hope we will also be able to say that this team was a winning team. For now, we are successful players arriving at a new club and starting from zero.
ON THE CL FINAL 2010 AT THE BERNABEU
Kaká: The ambition is to win the Champions League. On top of that, you have the possibility of us being at home – and it would be fantastic to play the final at the Bernabéu. Success in modern football depends on a lot of different factors, but we’ll certainly do our best to be in that final.
Of course, you remember 2005….
via Reuters
Here’s Greaseano’s new ad for Castrol, where he speaks lovely Portuglish and tells us that he’d much rather sit in the car and enjoy that lifetime supply of petrol as hair moisturizer. On another note, they’d better not show this ad on TV anytime soon. “Hot places…. cold places….” Who wrote the script? Claudio Ranieri?
via Reuters
Uncle Del Bosque thinks that Spain’s critics need to start eating their paellas and chill out as they prepare to face Belgium in a World Cup qualifier.
“The criticism I take is normal. When you lose, the critic sees fit to criticise. Football is a debate. There is no single thought, no single idea in football,” he said.
Xabi Alonso will also partner Marcos Senna – who was also called up – in midfield. He said : “Today I have been working with Xavi and I think it went well. And when I play with Senna it is no problem either.”
Added Del Bosque : “Marcos is an important player in midfield and was instrumental in the European Championship. It also has much prestige among people around him. Having said that, I would stress that we have found a perfect replacement in the form of Sergio Busquets.”
Greaseano (desculpe, he’s a best seller on Futbolita) is confident of victory in Portugal against Denmark on Saturday in a crucial game where three points are needed to go with chances for the World Cup in South Africa, but Hugo Almeida is calm.
“We still have every chance of qualifying. None of us wants his only experience of the World Cup to be watching it on TV,” Portugal striker Hugo Almeida said.
Added Greaseano “It is true that there is a lot of pressure. (It) is normal because of what is at stake, but I am sure we can win and that my selection will be in the World Cup.”
He added : “I am the same Cristiano, with the same commitment and desire to win. What is happening is we are at the beginning of the season and it is normal that I’m still not 100%. It is a matter of time and work to get to my level, which most probably will be even higher than what I’ve displayed so far.” Hmmm…
via HOLA
So Luis Figo and his ferosh family arrived in Roman Calderon’s Ibiza yesterday to enjoy a little bit of a retreat on a fancy yacht. Well, ya’ll know he recently retired from club football and would like to spend the rest of his days looking good for mujers like my mum.
Apparently, Notts County and Sven Goran Eriksson are interested in signing him. And while the project doesn’t exactly scream Galactico 3.0, it’ll be fascinating to see Figo playing in the English league.
Also, Figo recently spoke about Real Madrid and how he does not regret signing for them. Granted, he did sound a little opportunistic but it was all said and done…
“I flew to Lisbon the day after (Florentino Perez’s) elections, Monday, and I went to (my agent’s) office. When I arrived and entered the room, there were about ten people sitting around a table, all trying to convince me to sign on that moment. That’s when I called my wife and told her,’That’s it, I am of Real Madrid’. I did not return to Barcelona.”
via GETTYIMAGES
Ok chicas, this story cracked us up and the randomness of it all is mind-blowing! Yes, it appears that Greaseano has moved out of his luxurious Cheshire mansion and left Futbolito Fabio a gift.
“He left a refrigerator at his house and mine was broken, so I got his. A VIP refrigerator,” Fabio laughed. “We have not spoken much. Now he’s coming to charge me (for the fridge).”
When asked if Greaseano made him pay cash for the fridge, Fabio laughed again and said : “His Portuguese hand closed the fridge. But seriously, I’m rooting for him too. Sure, he’ll do well at Real Madrid. He is a player who works hard and always seeks to improve more and more.”
Anyway, of course he had to speak about his gemelo Rafael…
“He is recovering from an injury in the right shoulder. The curious part is that I had the same injury which left me out of the squad for a long time. We’re twins (even in injury)” he joked.
Tipo is hilarious and we must say it again…. Seu cabelo e muito legal!
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