So Arsenal will be playing Hulkalicious Porto tonight and while Denilson will finally shed his Carnaval outfit for boots, Porto do not wished to be undermined! Benfica are not sending owls to the Emirates stadium either but who needs them right? Bruno Alves’s hair alone will be in charge of scoring hat-tricks on behalf of Carlos Queiroz. So prepare yourselves, futbolitas!
Said their treinador Jesualdo Ferreira : “I want to put right the fact that Porto have not won in England before – there’s always a first time for everything.”
So basically, Zagallo aka the Man of my amiga’s dreams (seen here with Edmilson) has spoken up about the evergreen issue of The Dinho playing for Brazil. You could honestly walk into the Copacabana beach these days and start yelling Ron’s name at the Caiprinha stand itself.
Anyway, Zagallo thinks The Dinho doesn’t deserve a place in Dopey’s squad. To be honest, homie needs to do his homework because his quotes do not make sense! “He has an excellent technique and his skills also won (him) the Golden Ball but when he played for the selecao, he only played a good game against England (World Cup 2002), including a goal scored by accident.” VOCÊ É GRAVE, Zagallo?!!
Yesssss, friends! We are excited to announce that the Futbolita World Cup will be launched later this week and that we are looking for futbolitas like YOU to come on board. ¿Estás listo? Por supuesto! We’ve got passionate meninas on board (and are looking for more!) so wherever you are – watch this space, grab your flags, footballs, samba floats and get ready to join us!!
Why so serious, tipo? Worrying about when Dopey will call you up next? Não se preocupe, ele ainda está pensando … and yes, there isn’t much change to the official ‘camisa da selecao’ although Pato claims that it’s a lot lighter in texture. “It really looks good and the body and material greatly facilitates the attacker,” he said. Manos will also be wearing it for the first time next week against Ireland and if you’d like to see the blue shirt, it was launched at Carnaval and looks like this!
Also, our fashion amigos are going to love the fact that this year’s Copa del Mundo jerseys are all made from plastic bottles! Yes, approximately EIGHT bottles were used to make each jersey. How ingenious!
Lastly, the Brazilian press are speculating that Pato looks pissed because he was picked as an ‘emergency option’ for the event in London. Fabulouso, Dani Alves, Adriano and Robinho were not released by their respective teams and feared The Dinho’s appearance would cause a controversy. Esta é a fofoca!
via Nike, Gettyimages, AFP
Amigas, all we have to say about last night’s game is that the Rossoneri threw it away like a Carl’s Jr burger wrapper on a marshmallow stove. Despite The Dinho’s brilliance, men like Huntelaar and Dida need to be taken out because they obviously switched off in the second half and Leonardo couldn’t locate their manuals so that explains the 3-2 loss. Debería darte vergüenza! You should be playing for Disney FC and NOT AC Milan. Where’s the CLASS, hombres? You’re supposed to be the best European team in Italy with eight trophies… so act like it and don’t play like Merda!
And by the way, Rafael (who lost those luscious curls..!) did a pretty good job trying to cover the likes of The Dinho. What a hardworking menino. Um aplauso para ele, por favor. If you want Becks to reassure you…. watch the video below!
As for Los Blancos, they have a lot of incentive to reach the Champions League final so losing 0-1 away from the Bernabeu wasn’t such a bad thing. Não, este não é um caso de duplo standard – it’s just the fact that Real know that if they don’t make it to the finals, everyone will literally get into a bitch fit!
Greaseano seemed muito tranquilo about it all and said: “I’m calm. In this competition you have to suffer. I’m sure that we will give a good answer in the return game and that we will win. The Bernabeu will help us. We will have to give to give it everything from the first minute until the last. The tie is not lost.”
via AP, Reuters, FIFA
Oooooh, enfim! The crucial player list for “Seleção Bootcamp: Irlanda” has been announced by both Dopey and Jorginho. If you were rooting for the return of The Dinho, he was kindly ignored so you’d best put back the wig into the cupboard. Basically, Dopey left the poor dude out of his plans completely. No lovelies, we’re not talking about his holiday plans… it’s his World Cup plans! Vá dormir, Dinho … ir dormir .. (go to sleep)
Anyway futbolitas, the usual manos were called up including Kaka, Robinho, Fabulouso, Dani Alves and Elano. Adriano, who is expected to hook up with all the Carnaval dancers this weekend also received the good news, so the Catwalk Club in Rio had better line its VIP area with samba floats. Also, Parabens to Nilmar who received his call up… he too can take namorada Laura out for a nice candlelight dinner tonight! We’re not really feeling Ramires or Kleberson – they’ve both been mediocre at best. Porrr queee??!!
GOALKEEPERS: Julio César (Inter de Milão), Doni (Roma)DEFENDERS : Maicon (Inter de Milão), Daniel Alves (Barcelona), Gilberto (Cruzeiro), Michel Bastos (Lyon), Juan (Roma), Lúcio (Inter de Milão), Luisão (Benfica), Thiago Silva (Milan)
MIDFIELDERS : Gilberto Silva (Panathinaikos), Josué (Wolfsburg), Felipe Melo (Juventus), Kaká (Real Madrid), Ramires (Benfica), Elano (Galatasaray), Julio Baptista (Roma), Kleberson (Flamengo)
STRIKERS : Robinho (Santos), Adriano (Flamengo), Nilmar (Villarreal),Luis Fabiano (Sevilla)
“All players have a chance. We analyze and look at options for the group. At present, he (Ronaldinho) is not part of it,” declared Dopey. “There will be no more surprises. If you pause to see, everything we have (achieved) is a result of what has been done far. You (journalists) always want big names. But for us there is no big and small name. Everything we do has a sequence. We can not create problems for ourselves.”
For a complete breakdown of the full selection including each jogador – courtesy of UOL Esporte (including an old-school Internacional Nilmar passport photo)… READ ON, BEBÊS!!!
Members of an Italian mafia group have been arrested after police uncovered their plans to abduct none other than Senhor Mourinho! What were they thinking? He’d win them all over in quindici minuti! “Giovanni, I like your spirit but you are not listening to me no? I asked you to shave off your beard on Thursday. I don’t like these things. To become European Champion, you must do it or we don’t talk about it,” he’d say while making the table in a spare Lazio shirt.
Anyway, the authorities found strong traces of wiretapping, photos and the coach’s home address in one of the mafia’s homes in Genoa. Gattuso was cleared of all charges, however, after being found cutting his fish in his restaurant while listening to Andrea Bocelli.
So all eyes will be on Dopey today as he prepares to announce the seleção that’ll face Ireland next month. Everyone’s wondering about The Dinho but unless he stops himself from hitting all of Milan’s hot spots with Boriello and starts showing some discipline, there’s no chance for a return. Dopey is all about discipline and consistency so never cross the line or he’ll scream “vá embora!” and that’s the end of you.
And as for the list of strikers, El Pato has been nursing an injury for 24,241 years so he might not make it. Nilmar has been average (at best) for Villarreal so he might be left out. Fabulousoooo and Robinho will probably get the green light since boot camp ain’t the same without them.
Pep’s legacy, Crackovia style – what else do you need to know about it?!
Last but not least, Ricardo over here would like to tell all his fan girls not to worry about his sports hernia problem. Instead, they should finish all their homework and eat on time. Who are we kidding? The best FanGirl breed still belongs to the Kakazetes!
“I feel good. The sports hernia does not bother me any more. It has disappeared, but I still need to do specific recovery work like any injured player does. Last week it was rumored that it is a chronic problem which isn’t true. It isn’t just in Spain where there has been talk about me not being able to return to my old form. It also happened in Brazil and Italy, but it simply isn’t true.”
Sneaky Gennaro! We should have seen this coming from the man who eats US $73,000 snails. It was only a matter of time before your Gangsta Gattuso followed this act up by opening up “Gattuso e Bianchi”, a fish (and all things seafood related) restaurant in the Varese province (north of Milan) with his friend, Andrea Bianchi.
The place was swarmed with tifosi at its opening with fans keen to catch a glimpse of exotic crabs and clamps. Ronaldinho, David Beckham, Luca Antonini, Davide Di Gennaro, Christian Abbiati and Massimo Ambrosini and even Iaquinta all came to support their friend, who by all accounts, is obsessed with fish.
“I love fresh fish, to see it, touch it and, of course, eat it. It has been my passion since childhood and now with my friend Bianchi, I want to start this new adventure,” he declared. And with that, an amiga’s fantasy of seeing Gattuso cooking up a storm in the kitchen has been fulfilled.
So shall we, then…. head over to Chef Gattuso’s?
via Correire dello Sport, Varese
The Dinho is back! Well, that was what many futbolitas told us excitedly on Twitter and you could be right! A few days ago, we questioned this cara’s ability to make Dopey’s starting XI, which remains an open call, unless you are Uncle Pele – and even he can’t waltz into the training ground of Granja Comary whenever he pleases. TODAVIA, after his Milan hat-trick yesterday, we can officially establish that The Dinho is now working his beachy butt off to make it to South Africa.
Check this out : in their last three games, Milan have scored a staggering 12 goals – 5 of which were scored by the Brazilian. Oooooh, acredito que você pode fazer a seleção? - do you believe you can make the squad? He hasn’t played a part in any of their qualifiers and has been snubbed in recent friendlies. And yes, Dinho’s discipline simply wanes when he’s with the national team. So what’s it gonna be, Bebê?
Also, your favourite Italian Stallion, Sig. Marco Borriello also got his name on the score sheet yesterday. Lovely, we know how this one will be celebrating….
So these days, The Dinho’s form is picking up and everyone – your hamster included – believes there’s good chance he’ll be called up to the selecao. The dude’s still got it in him, of course, but what’s worrying is his fluctuating stamina. Sometimes, he runs like a florist on the way to pick up a basket of Daisies.
“He still likes to party into the night as he celebrated victory over Juventus in a nightclub,” said one Italian journalist, Mattia Fontana. “They said in December that he would be barred from the game against Fiorentina because of one of these escapades. But the game didn’t take place because of bad weather in Italy at that time. In other words, his behavior has not changed, but he found a coach who helped him a lot.”
All The Dinho needs now is consistency and looking at that photo above, probably a shampoo and conditioner from The Body Shop for El Pato’s dry hair. Futbolitas, time to go old school again…
via AP, Globo
For a moment, Diego forgot about the team he was playing for (“Boa gol, Dinho! grande abraço!”) Then, he caught Felipe Melo giving him the evil eye on the pitch – and that was it! 3-0 to Milan, and you don’t even know if Juve bothered to turn up at their own stadium at all.
To be fair, neither side was doing much in the first ten minutes, but despite the Rossoneri’s inadequacy - including Ambrosini’s “speed”, Beckham’s disappearance and Pirlo’s bad corners – UncleDude Nesta pulled one for his side while The Dinho (yes, we told you everyone will be scrambling to show off this year) netted in a double!! El Pato was out fretting over his injury on the roller coaster ride, so perhaps their attacking prowess was a little tamed. But in the second half, Milan actually improved and controlled the game – and although they weren’t at their best, Juventus and Amauri proved that they were indeed, better off prawn fishing
Poor Ciro. Now the Italian press are sharpening their pencils and ready to attack! “I don’t feel in danger of losing my job, I am very concentrated. I am trying to put my energy into the team. It is not my decision to make if they sack me or not, and if I am sacked I will accept it,” said tio Ferrara after the game.
via Reuters
After weeks of rally and support, it has now emerged that River Plate’s promising midfielder, Diego Buonanotte may be discharged from the hospital in two days following his horrifying car accident which claimed the lives of his three friends.
“He’s a very peaceful guy, he’s not a “night-man” and he was not drunk. It was a tragedy, his friends died and nobody expected that. He was so sad and I couldn’t believe it. I hopes he can get over this and find peace in his life,” says a River Plate futbolita, Sabrina, 18 from Buenos Aires.
“Everything went as planned for the operation. Now, we can only wait for his recovery,” said Pedro Hansen, River’s medical chief. As they say in Argentina, Fuerza Diego!
Meanwhile, Greaseano has hit back at Osasuna fans who yelled vulgarities at him at Real’s last game, including the evergreen “hijo puta es” and “Cristiano muérete!” It’s rare to want to be on his side, but this time, we must say that he gets the last laugh.
“Being made unwelcome (during matches) is normal to me. I’ve been there many times in England and ended up being voted the best player in the world.” Ouch!
Look who scored in Milan’s 5-2 thrashing of Genoa last night? The Italian Stallion, himself, Boriello…. and (brace yourselves), Huntelaar! All we can say is they both did a good job of covering for Pato while he was out spreading garlic butter with Sthef. As for Huntelaar, scoring via penalty doesn’t constitute much, but it’s still a goal and unless you do something else, no one is going to be very impressed. At least he did better than The Dinho, who failed to convert a spot-kick… but listen, Thiago Silva scored too OK?
Il Davide featured in the game too (of course) and Leonardo said he “trained in all positions” due to the unexpected injuries prior to the game. So how do things look for Juventus this weekend, then, uomini?
Contrary to popular belief, The Dinho is not doing Ladies Night at the Discoteca Hollywood anymore. Naturalmente, as pessoas! Everyone’s headed home for the Natal holidays but as usual, the Rossoneri always seem to have the worst schedules. This year, they resume training on the 28th (and last year -if you recall – they were a sports camp on New Years’ Day). Still, the English players have it a lot worst and our minds have been programmed with the fleeting image of Robinho secretly booking a flight back to Brazil.”Meu nome é Giovanni da Silva!” he’ll tell kids on the plane – bribing them with Kinder Buenos, of course.
Anyway, his good friend, The Dinho organized a charity match in Bahia, which was pretty nice. The event was called the “Christmas Ball Show” and was in aid of 700 underprivileged children in Rio Grande de Sul. The great Romario couldn’t attend – so he sent his son instead, Romarinho. Other players included Jo aka the Spectacular Flop, Vagner Love, Diego Souza and Léo Moura.
Don’t ask what happened to the defense, but Milan eventually defeated Cagliari 4-3 yesterday with goals from Seedorf, Borriello, Mr Sthefany and Ronaldinho.
“All four forwards scored, which is something very positive,” Leonardooooo said. “We had some problems defending and with coverage at times but that’s to be expected when you play with (four forwards).” Sadly, we don’t quite get his tactics but as long as they work and grandfathers like Ancelotti can only watch in jealousy….
Also, reports have emerged linking Gangsta Gattuso to Oil City in Manchester, which sounds to us like rubbish. “I often speak to Gattuso and it’s not true. There is no truth in claims that he wants to leave,” declared Leonardo. Quick Gattuso, say something smart!
Thiago Silva looks a little overwhelmed there, don’t you think? (“So Pirlo, you want a hug too? Ok, let’s widen the circle. Everybody make space”) He scored twice in Milan’s 2-1 win over Lazio yesterday, including an own goal for the visiting team! El Pato scored the other goal – a neat bouncing header that drifted in beautifully.
Anyway, it’s good to see cara doing well because he’s one of those players who nearly didn’t make it in the game – and had to work extra hard. Bom trabalho!
“In the locker room, I was made fun of by the others who said I achieved two goals,” said Silva. “The important thing was to have played well with personality. It’s hard to play against teams like Lazio, who have quality players who (play) well, but in the end we won and this is the most important thing. As for me I am happy to work well, they all speak well of me and I’m happy.”
Incrível! We guessed right… and Milan pulled off a shock 3-2 win over the Madridistas thanks to Pato’s killer last night. He’s going home to cry on his webcam now, but he can do whatever he wants! O Stef, bring out the candles… two goals against Real Moneda is something to scream about. Judging from the match last night, desculpe but Kaka didn’t shine as much as ya’ll expected. The Rossoneri actually played with some heart last night – save for The Dinho’s pathetic pace and Dida’s mistakes (actually, other than that, he wasn’t sleeping)
Also, we’ve established that Raul The Great One needs join King Juan Carlos’s court as a jester because his acting skills supersede that of Al Pacino. The Pied Piper of Higuain is a million times better than him and would have created more opportunities. Breaking out into a fight with Nesta was totally unnecessary. Quit being arrogant – you’re the capitano!
Said Kaka : “It was an evening full of many emotions. I found many (of) friends on the field. But the result was not good – we wanted to win. Right now we lack an identity - I knew Milan and I did not expect a team in disarray. Of course I was surprised to see them so aggressive in the beginning. As for Pato, he’s only twenty years and as I said, do not give him too many responsibilities: Give him time and you will see his talents. Tonight, he made he clear what he could do.”
Also, did you see how Pirlo and Ambrosini anticipated Kaka’s movements on the field? They are grandfathers all right, but they did not forget those six years Ricky spent training at Milanello!
Sorry, we’re literally laughing at that picture. Damn tipo, we know you want to answer to your critics and all that…but your facial expression will not summon a deal from Signor Armani anytime soon!
Anyway, Milan fans can now celebrate and sleep in peace for the next 2 days (at least) over their 2-1 victory over Roma. They had to come back after going one goal down in the first half, and thanks to the combo of Uncle Ron and Duckling, who pulled it off! That doesn’t mean that the Rossoneri crisis is over. They still needed the The Dinho to convert a penalty – a highly questionable decision. Everyone needs to be ready for Madrid on Wednesday.
“The most important thing was the incredible spirit we showed,” said Leonardo. “The three points are all well and good but the main thing is the desire we’ve shown in all our performances.”
“I always want to do very well for this team, and I feel that I have achieved this tonight,” added Pato. “A lot has changed for us over the past two weeks, and tonight we are very happy and satisfied with this victory. Doing well here, hopefully means a return to the Selecao for me, but I must I say thanks to Ronnie, as he played me in front of the goalkeeper.”
via GETTYIMAGES
Ohhhh Milan!! They’re living a nightmare after failing to pull off a win against Atalanta last night. And seeing that both The Dinho, Thiago Silva and Pato have not been summoned to Dopey’s squad for the remaining qualifiers (even though Brazil have already qualified… that says a lot), now they’d better all focus on working hard! Despite managing a 1-1 draw, one point is not enough. We’re talking about AC Milan here. What happened to their winning mentality?
“Unfortunately, we are going through a bad time because every game has turned out to be complicated. We lost a bit ‘away and now we have to recover. We could win the game, but unfortunately it went wrong,” said Nesta. Added Zambrotta : “Against us all the teams play on the counterattack. We (got so much) possession in the second half, but missed the goal.” Oh, how romantic.
Apparently, Uncle Fester is also annoyed with all the media attention surrounding Leooonardo. Well, he’s also pissed that The Dinho went out partying till 2am so clearly, they need a disciplinarian… someone like Mourinho. It’s not just a problem – it’s a crisis!!!
The Rossoneri were BOOED off the San Siro last night after another dismal performance against Bari and Leonardo actually believed that they deserved it. Is he throwing in the towel, already? Tio might as well release post-match statements centering around lines like : “We tried our best today…” and “We could not capitalize on our chances…” or “Ronaldinho tried, but you must wait for his form to return. I believe it will soon”.
None of that. Instead, Leonardo said : “Bari played very, very well while we struggled a lot. At the end of the game jeers, just like applause, are always deserved.”
Uh, the game ended up in a stalemate… he could’ve at least said his tactics need a reality check instead of accepting the jeers. Also, they’ve only scored once in the last five games. Che sta succedendo??!!
Juventus and Milan are slated to play a game in honour of Botox Berlusconi tonight (not exactly, it’s just called the Trofeo Berlusconi) and already, coach Ciro Ferrara has picked out his opponent’s weaknesses.
“I met Leonardo on holiday and then just before the TRofeo Tim. He is a nice and intelligent guy. His team had a difficult moment but I am sure it will be solved and even as from Monday we will see a different team,” said Ferrara.
“Inter showed, if there was any need for this, that they are very strong. They are a point of reference for those who must chase. Milan, on the other hand had various problems in the preparatory phase but will want to do well in front of their public and their president. We want to do well too.” Tifosi, this is the perfect platform for you to go on strike!
Interestingly, Milan’s Fallen estrella, Kaka, visited Milanello yesterday and was “applauded” by former teammates who did not know he’d be coming. After that Leonardo announced that the Rossoneri needed “to change their attitude”. Or is he just referring to The Dinho’s?
Comentários