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PIQUE THE POUT : He hardly pouts, but we needed something catchy. There was always "Geri Gorgeous", but it makes the hair stand.
2 hours ago @nkhan2 yeah, it's supposed to be. Unfortunately, many 'ballers still don't speak it !
3 hours ago Both Oezil & Khedira have been asked to learn English or Spanish as "their participation in RM's social activities is effectively zero" LOL
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So obviously, Uncle Fester Galliani masterminded the whole Ibra to Milan transfer, and the man himself arrived last night at the Milan-Lecce game. Basically, the oldies in the team like SuperPippo said “NO, GRAZIE!” to their new teammate by doing well in that 4-0 victory. The other three goals came from the Brasileiros, e claro! Two from Pato and his Badass face, and one from Thiago Silva (or as our amiga says, “T.I. Silva”). So why do they need Ibra, again?!
And apparently, the Interistis don’t really care about Ibra going back to the ‘other team’. But you’ll only know the truth when the Milan derby takes place and everybody starts burning the stadium seats again and/or sending empty pasta packets to Moratti’s office, which will make him really pissed.
This is why we love Spanish and European football! There’s still so much solidarity and amor eterno between the players and teams, even after they’ve long left the club. Anyway, all this love happened yesterday to The Dinho at the Joan Gamper trophy challenge between Barca and Milan. The Brazilian was given a fantastic welcome back to the Nou Camp from the fans and Captain Puyolita (obviously, in that picture above, Dani Alves wanted to stand next to his friend and countryman but Fontas said “NO” with a strict face.)
Barca left their “play for pride” style behind and opted to relax instead. In the end, they still won 3-1 on penalties with The Dinho giving his boots away to a fan. O que é um grande homem! The kid will remember him for life.
Everybody’s backing this kid to do well for Brasil, so tempo para ser sério, Neymar! Nenhuma das festas, sem noites .. it’s time to be serious and not become another overrated menino. The key is not to get carried away, and focus, focus focus! Menezes better keep him in check and everything will be fine at the next World Cup.
That’s if Ronaldinho doesn’t come knocking looking for party mates. Ganso, do your job!
Finally, the moment has arrived and selecao bootcamp has been finalized for the World Cup! Of course, what’s a call-up to the selecao if it doesn’t involve loads of controversy, overexcited journalists and annoyed Brazilians in general? Joked our Brazilian futbolita, Raio, “People want to kill Dunga now!” presumably for his questionable choices of Felipe Melo and Ramires.
As for the Adriano romanticists, Wolfsburg’s Grafite is definitely a name that shocked them. The Dinho, Pato and Neymar were among the other names that were not called up, although Dinho is still in the ‘reserve squad’
“There is no doubt about Ronaldinho’s ability, but I have to make decisions based on what has happened on the pitch,” he said.
Look, it’s the two forgotten Brazilian manos from Milan! The question is… who will be called up this week?
Anyway, the Rossoneri succumbed to another loss in the league yesterday afternoon, and Genoa was the villain in this sad, sad Serie A campaign. It’s really tragic to see Milan’s performance this season… they need to recuperate themselves over the season break, buy new players, change the system, risolvere il problema! Well, at least they’ll be in the Champions League next season but whether or not Leonardo remains coach is a mystery.
Well, about that, he said : “I’m very attached to Italian football, I’ve been here for thirteen years and I am sorry to see that every game has become like ancient Rome with gladiators in the Coliseum,” said Leonardo. “We should avoid certain issues which do not contribute to the quality of the show, there is a limit, we need to change the environment.”
Oooh, looks like we have a case of the Forgotten Homems here at the Milan-Lazio game last night! The Dinho’s son is chomping on a hot cross bun given to him by Uncle Galliani.… Nãooooo, ficar longe!
Anyway, a member of Lazio’s “Ultras” (yes, the hardcore ones) told us last week that it was going to be a difficult match at the San Siro. He also repeatedly chanted “I will be there with my brothers at full force,” and “Lazio is my life” about 91 times in total but that was to be expected! He’ll probably be pleased with Stephan Lichtsteiner’s goal thanks to Milan’s lax defending last night.
And yes, the Italian Stallion, Marco Boriello also scored for Milan in this 1-1 draw. Stai arrossendo? abbastanza! (You’re blushing? stop it!)
So Arsenal will be playing Hulkalicious Porto tonight and while Denilson will finally shed his Carnaval outfit for boots, Porto do not wished to be undermined! Benfica are not sending owls to the Emirates stadium either but who needs them right? Bruno Alves’s hair alone will be in charge of scoring hat-tricks on behalf of Carlos Queiroz. So prepare yourselves, futbolitas!
Said their treinador Jesualdo Ferreira : “I want to put right the fact that Porto have not won in England before – there’s always a first time for everything.”
So basically, Zagallo aka the Man of my amiga’s dreams (seen here with Edmilson) has spoken up about the evergreen issue of The Dinho playing for Brazil. You could honestly walk into the Copacabana beach these days and start yelling Ron’s name at the Caiprinha stand itself.
Anyway, Zagallo thinks The Dinho doesn’t deserve a place in Dopey’s squad. To be honest, homie needs to do his homework because his quotes do not make sense! “He has an excellent technique and his skills also won (him) the Golden Ball but when he played for the selecao, he only played a good game against England (World Cup 2002), including a goal scored by accident.” VOCÊ É GRAVE, Zagallo?!!
Yesssss, friends! We are excited to announce that the Futbolita World Cup will be launched later this week and that we are looking for futbolitas like YOU to come on board. ¿Estás listo? Por supuesto! We’ve got passionate meninas on board (and are looking for more!) so wherever you are – watch this space, grab your flags, footballs, samba floats and get ready to join us!!
Why so serious, tipo? Worrying about when Dopey will call you up next? Não se preocupe, ele ainda está pensando … and yes, there isn’t much change to theofficial ‘camisa da selecao’ although Pato claims that it’s a lot lighter in texture. “It really looks good and the body and material greatly facilitates the attacker,” he said. Manos will also be wearing it for the first time next week against Ireland and if you’d like to see the blue shirt, it was launched at Carnaval and looks like this!
Also, our fashion amigos are going to love the fact that this year’s Copa del Mundo jerseys are all made from plastic bottles! Yes, approximately EIGHT bottles were used to make each jersey. How ingenious!
Lastly, the Brazilian press are speculating that Pato looks pissed because he was picked as an ‘emergency option’ for the event in London. Fabulouso, Dani Alves, Adriano and Robinho were not released by their respective teams and feared The Dinho’s appearancewould cause a controversy. Esta é a fofoca!
Amigas, all we have to say about last night’s game is that the Rossoneri threw it away like a Carl’s Jr burger wrapper on a marshmallow stove. Despite The Dinho’s brilliance, men like Huntelaar and Dida need to be taken out because they obviously switched off in the second half and Leonardo couldn’t locate their manuals so that explains the 3-2 loss.Debería darte vergüenza! You should be playing for Disney FC and NOT AC Milan. Where’s the CLASS, hombres? You’re supposed to be the best European team in Italy with eight trophies… so act like it and don’t play like Merda!
And by the way, Rafael (who lost those luscious curls..!) did a pretty good job trying to cover the likes of The Dinho. What a hardworking menino. Um aplauso para ele, por favor. If you want Becks to reassure you…. watch the video below!
As for Los Blancos, they have a lot of incentive to reach the Champions League final so losing 0-1 away from the Bernabeu wasn’t such a bad thing. Não, este não é um caso de duplo standard – it’s just the fact that Real know that if they don’t make it to the finals, everyone will literally get into a bitch fit!
Greaseano seemed muito tranquilo about it all and said: “I’m calm. In this competition you have to suffer. I’m sure that we will give a good answer in the return game and that we will win. The Bernabeu will help us. We will have to give to give it everything from the first minute until the last. The tie is not lost.”
Oooooh, enfim! The crucial player list for “Seleção Bootcamp: Irlanda” has been announced by both Dopey and Jorginho. If you were rooting for the return of The Dinho, he was kindly ignored so you’d best put back the wig into the cupboard. Basically, Dopey left the poor dude out of his plans completely. No lovelies, we’re not talking about his holiday plans… it’s his World Cup plans! Vá dormir, Dinho … ir dormir .. (go to sleep)
Anyway futbolitas, the usual manos were called up including Kaka, Robinho, Fabulouso, Dani Alves and Elano.Adriano, who is expected to hook up with all the Carnaval dancers this weekend also received the good news, so the Catwalk Club in Rio had better line its VIP area with samba floats. Also, Parabens to Nilmar who received his call up… he too can take namorada Laura out for a nice candlelight dinner tonight! We’re not really feeling Ramires or Kleberson – they’ve both been mediocre at best. Porrr queee??!!
GOALKEEPERS: Julio César (Inter de Milão), Doni (Roma)
DEFENDERS : Maicon (Inter de Milão), Daniel Alves (Barcelona), Gilberto (Cruzeiro), Michel Bastos (Lyon), Juan (Roma), Lúcio (Inter de Milão), Luisão (Benfica), Thiago Silva (Milan)
MIDFIELDERS : Gilberto Silva (Panathinaikos), Josué (Wolfsburg), Felipe Melo (Juventus), Kaká (Real Madrid), Ramires (Benfica), Elano (Galatasaray), Julio Baptista (Roma), Kleberson (Flamengo)
“All players have a chance. We analyze and look at options for the group. At present, he (Ronaldinho) is not part of it,” declared Dopey. “There will be no more surprises. If you pause to see, everything we have (achieved) is a result of what has been done far. You (journalists) always want big names. But for us there is no big and small name. Everything we do has a sequence. We can not create problems for ourselves.”
For a complete breakdown of the full selection including each jogador – courtesy of UOL Esporte (including anold-school Internacional Nilmar passport photo)… READ ON, BEBÊS!!!
Members of an Italian mafia group have been arrested after police uncovered their plans to abduct none other than Senhor Mourinho! What were they thinking? He’d win them all over in quindici minuti!“Giovanni, I like your spirit but you are not listening to me no? I asked you to shave off your beard on Thursday. I don’t like these things. To become European Champion, you must do it or we don’t talk about it,” he’d say while making the table in a spare Lazio shirt.
Anyway, the authorities found strong traces of wiretapping, photos and the coach’s home address in one of the mafia’s homes in Genoa. Gattuso was cleared of all charges, however, after being found cutting his fish in his restaurant while listening to Andrea Bocelli.
So all eyes will be on Dopey today as he prepares to announce the seleção that’ll face Ireland next month. Everyone’s wondering about The Dinho but unless he stops himself from hitting all of Milan’s hot spots with Boriello and starts showing some discipline, there’s no chance for a return. Dopey is all about discipline and consistency so never cross the line or he’ll scream “vá embora!” and that’s the end of you.
And as for the list of strikers, El Pato has been nursing an injury for 24,241 years so he might not make it. Nilmar has been average (at best) for Villarreal so he might be left out. Fabulousoooo and Robinho will probably get the green light since boot camp ain’t the same without them.
Pep’s legacy, Crackovia style – what else do you need to know about it?!
Last but not least, Ricardo over here would like to tell all his fan girls not to worry about his sports hernia problem. Instead, they should finish all their homework and eat on time. Who are we kidding? The best FanGirl breed still belongs to the Kakazetes!
“I feel good. The sports hernia does not bother me any more. It has disappeared, but I still need to do specific recovery work like any injured player does. Last week it was rumored that it is a chronic problem which isn’t true. It isn’t just in Spain where there has been talk about me not being able to return to my old form. It also happened in Brazil and Italy, but it simply isn’t true.”
Sneaky Gennaro! We should have seen this coming from the man who eats US $73,000 snails. It was only a matter of time before your Gangsta Gattuso followed this act up by opening up “Gattuso e Bianchi”, a fish (and all things seafood related) restaurant in the Varese province (north of Milan) with his friend, Andrea Bianchi.
The place was swarmed with tifosi at its opening with fans keen to catch a glimpse of exotic crabs and clamps. Ronaldinho, David Beckham, Luca Antonini, Davide Di Gennaro, Christian Abbiati and Massimo Ambrosini and even Iaquinta all came to support their friend, who by all accounts, is obsessed with fish.
“I love fresh fish, to see it, touch it and, of course, eat it. It has been my passion since childhood and now with my friend Bianchi, I want to start this new adventure,” he declared. And with that, an amiga’s fantasy of seeing Gattuso cooking up a storm in the kitchen has been fulfilled.
The Dinho is back! Well, that was what many futbolitas told us excitedly on Twitter and you could be right! A few days ago, we questioned this cara’s ability to make Dopey’s starting XI, which remains an open call, unless you are Uncle Pele – and even he can’t waltz into the training ground of Granja Comary whenever he pleases. TODAVIA, after his Milan hat-trick yesterday, we can officially establish that The Dinho is now working his beachy butt off to make it to South Africa.
Check this out : in their last three games, Milan have scored a staggering 12 goals – 5 of which were scored by the Brazilian. Oooooh, acredito que você pode fazer a seleção? - do you believe you can make the squad? He hasn’t played a part in any of their qualifiers and has been snubbed in recent friendlies. And yes, Dinho’s discipline simply wanes when he’s with the national team. So what’s it gonna be, Bebê?
Also, your favourite Italian Stallion, Sig. Marco Borriello also got his name on the score sheet yesterday. Lovely, we know how this one will be celebrating….
So these days, The Dinho’s form is picking up and everyone – your hamster included – believes there’s good chance he’ll be called up to the selecao. The dude’s still got it in him, of course, but what’s worrying is his fluctuating stamina. Sometimes, he runs like a florist on the way to pick up a basket of Daisies.
“He still likes to party into the night as he celebrated victory over Juventus in a nightclub,” said one Italian journalist, Mattia Fontana. “They said in December that he would be barred from the game against Fiorentina because of one of these escapades. But the game didn’t take place because of bad weather in Italy at that time. In other words, his behavior has not changed, but he found a coach who helped him a lot.”
All The Dinho needs now is consistency and looking at that photo above, probably a shampoo and conditioner from The Body Shop for El Pato’s dry hair. Futbolitas, time to go old school again…
For a moment, Diego forgot about the team he was playing for (“Boa gol, Dinho! grande abraço!”) Then, he caught Felipe Melo giving him the evil eye on the pitch – and that was it! 3-0 to Milan, and you don’t even know if Juve bothered to turn up at their own stadium at all.
To be fair, neither side was doing much in the first ten minutes, but despite the Rossoneri’s inadequacy - including Ambrosini’s “speed”, Beckham’s disappearance and Pirlo’s bad corners – UncleDudeNesta pulled one for his side while The Dinho (yes, we told you everyone will be scrambling to show off this year) netted in a double!! El Pato was out fretting over his injury on the roller coaster ride, so perhaps their attacking prowess was a little tamed. But in the second half, Milan actually improved and controlled the game – and although they weren’t at their best, Juventus and Amauri proved that they were indeed, better off prawn fishing
Poor Ciro. Now the Italian press are sharpening their pencils and ready to attack! “I don’t feel in danger of losing my job, I am very concentrated. I am trying to put my energy into the team. It is not my decision to make if they sack me or not, and if I am sacked I will accept it,” said tio Ferrara after the game.
After weeks of rally and support, it has now emerged that River Plate’s promising midfielder, Diego Buonanotte may be discharged from the hospital in two days following his horrifying car accident which claimed the lives of his three friends.
“He’s a very peaceful guy, he’s not a “night-man” and he was not drunk. It was a tragedy, his friends died and nobody expected that. He was so sad and I couldn’t believe it. I hopes he can get over this and find peace in his life,” says a River Plate futbolita, Sabrina, 18 from Buenos Aires.
“Everything went as planned for the operation. Now, we can only wait for his recovery,” said Pedro Hansen, River’s medical chief. As they say in Argentina, Fuerza Diego!
Meanwhile, Greaseano has hit back at Osasuna fans who yelled vulgarities at him at Real’s last game, including the evergreen “hijo puta es” and “Cristiano muérete!” It’s rare to want to be on his side, but this time, we must say that he gets the last laugh.
“Being made unwelcome (during matches) is normal to me. I’ve been there many times in England and ended up being voted the best player in the world.” Ouch!
Look who scored in Milan’s 5-2 thrashing of Genoa last night? The Italian Stallion, himself, Boriello…. and (brace yourselves), Huntelaar! All we can say is they both did a good job of covering for Pato while he was out spreading garlic butter with Sthef. As for Huntelaar, scoring via penalty doesn’t constitute much, but it’s still a goal and unless you do something else, no one is going to be very impressed. At least he did better than The Dinho, who failed to convert a spot-kick… but listen, Thiago Silva scored too OK?
Il Davide featured in the game too (of course) and Leonardo said he “trained in all positions” due to the unexpected injuries prior to the game. So how do things look for Juventus this weekend, then, uomini?
Meet our Futbolitas del Mundo, who will be the pulse of their nations during South Africa 2010. Follow them right here as they spread the 'Futbolita' fever in their countries, and bring us the emotions and excitement during the tournament. Vamos, futbolitas!
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30th Aug 10
Ash
