Fútbolita

All right, so Uncle del Bosque has banned the Spaniards from using Facebook and Twitter during the World Cup. ¡Ten cuidado, Andres Iniesta, you better not be caught trying to snap a tourist photo of the Soccer City grass! Unfortunately, this ban will probably be a painful prospect for folks like Wedgiellas, vain pots who need to check their fan numbers every hour of the day (this is a joke).

Let’s not forget the fact that no one is allowed to log onto ‘these sites’ at Spain’s training camp. Well, they’re still free to visit Futbolita though – we’re having a fiesta in here!

As for Coca (also known as Alvaro Arbeloa), he’s hoping that they’ll let him check his messages which explains why he’s doing all these stretching exercises seriously…!

FIFA has launched their official World Cup game (always a favourite – we once made Rio Ferdinand score 20 own goals because we had no bloody idea how to work it!) So while everyone looks like a bad replica of the Avatards in Red and Puyol’s hair is looking like take-out noodles, the facial structures are improving. Granted, I’m not sure who is supposed to be Dani Guiza or David Villa but Wedgiellas’s Frankenstein nose and chin debe ir… ahora!

And futbolitas, don’t you think Xavi’s virtual stylist applied  little too much hair wax for him? Apparently, over a “hundred changes” were made to this game, but someone please explain WHY Xabi Alonso is checking out the back of Wedgiellas’s hair! Oh, the madness of FIFA 10!

So Potter Perez and amigos held a Christmas luncheon for the entire Real Madrid family (that includes their basketball players) earlier this week. There was a lot of mingling, laughing and plastic smiles (check out Jerzy Dudek above – does that face scream uneasiness or what?!) Anyway, cocktail was served and Perez also gave a speech to the whole room.

Of course, the best part was when he said this : “You will rest for a few days now and you will have time to think about next year, which will be tough. You must never forget that it is the Club’s Members who rule here. They accept defeat as long as you give your all on the pitch or on the court.”

Immediately, you can visualize the door flying open and a gust of cold wind filling the room! “It is the Club’s Members who Rule Here” will be the only line in Guti’s head as he prepares to fly to Ibiza for the 40,230th time this year.

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Unless you’ve been busy trying to break into Kun Aguero’s bachelor pad, you’d probably know that Italy’s most well-loved political figure (ha-ha) and Milan’s resident clown, Botox Berlusconi, received a fractured nose and broken teeth thanks to Facebook. Or maybe not…

Both Clarence Seedorf and Thiago Silva went to the San Raffaele hospital (above) yesterday to visit the Prime Minister – and he was apparently thrilled to see them. Damn, Gattuso would’ve been the perfect visitor! (“Primo Ministro, il naso sta cercando un po ‘strana” he would’ve said, which translates to “Prime Minister, your nose is looking a little weird.”) Milan also celebrated their 110-year anniversary yesterday and everyone gathered at the Bagatti Valsecchi Palace to celebrate. Lovely!

Lastly, check out Raver Ramos posing as Aladdin for Spanish portal, Ana Rosa. They completely forgot to cast Alfio Basile as Ursula (The Little Mermaid), Hulk as Hulk… or Julio Baptista as… the beast. Then again, it’s 100% made up of Spanish celebrities so all is forgiven. Money from sales of calendar will go to social projects in Nicaragua. If you want a piece of June’s pin-up boy, then you know what to do!

via AFP, Real Madrid & Ana Rosa

• The Dinho is this year’s winner of the Golden Foot award… and yes, you’re looking at his lovely feet. All you haters better sit down and congratulate him for all the hard work he’s done this year! Anyway, the award is typically given to an outstanding individual who is approaching his 30s. And while you may think that it’s a fight between the Has Beens (the voting was supposedly a “great battle against Raúl González, Thierry Henry and Gianluigi Buffon”), could this be a way to spur this lazy Milanista? Unless of course, he has officially resigned to other things…
• Uncle Fester Galliani has declared that Becks will probably be making his way back to Milan on loan (again) next year. “It’s very probable that Beckham will come to Milan on loan until June 30, but I don’t give anything as fact until there’s a signature,” he said.



• Raver Ramos has appeared in Shangay, a magazine for gay men. The pose is acceptable – by his standards – but everything else, including the following quote isn’t. “Every year I go out wondering if my sister is my girlfriend. I have no time to find a woman,” he said. What?!!!!!! Not cool, tipo. Not cool at all.
• Geri The Pout Pique is the sexy face of Catalan jewellery brand, Rosich because he loves their latest collection called “Breathe”. He’s also impressed with the “the existing friendship that binds the family.” Anyway, here he is with Carla Crombie, the best model at Cibeles Fashion Week 2010. See em’ worrrrrrk!

via Sport and Shangay

Raver Ramos is in ecstatic pain, but let’s ignore that and examine the possibility of the return of Galacticos 2.0. Against Marseille last night, Los Blancos showed a glimpse of what Potter Perez’s careful planning has done… or has it? If you watched the second half of the game last night, you would have seen Benzema’s classy one-two with Kaka, who neatly directed the ball in Greaseano’s direction for him to score the final goal of the night. Amigas, it was like watching the Figo-Zidane era again. It’d better not be the circus preview.

Meanwhile, we can’t believe Kaka thinks Milan’s defeat to Zurich is actually good. “For us it was very good that they lost because we are first in the group with two games to come against Milan and qualifying and topping the group depends on us. It is very important to top the group,” he said. Damn, mano’s supposed to be neutral…

Of course, we’re all waiting for the next game at the Bernabeu when Milan face Madrid on October 21st.

Photos via Gettyimages & AP

This has nothing to do with Ramos The Raver but the promotional video for Sony’s Twilight Football tournament (again – nothing to do with that horrid film) propped up and reminded us – yet again – of the Madrid defender. Yes, ya’ll know he can do the flamenco for real… gurrl over here is a fine Spaniard, so please respect!

Anyway, the footballers in the video are showing off their amazing football/capoeira-like moves within a bullfighting ring. Yes… because that’s the whole beauty of futbol – you can play it anywhere, even with a Grizzly bear on the field. Still, the coolest part of this tournament is that it will take place in waterfalls, castles, deserts and glaciers as backdrops. The locations are designed to “provide a challenging terrain for players and a stunning backdrop for low light digital camera photography.” Muito legal!! So if you’re from Italy, France, the UK, Spain, Argentina and Australia… go catch one of the games!

Well… we don’t have anything to say about Pepe, except for his bag. Where did he get it from and more importantly, has he (already) been picking up fashion tips from BabyGrease?

Interestingly, on the football side, Madrid’s latest “coup” Alvaro Arbeloa has surpassed Pepe and Sergio Ramos to officially become the club’s “now the highest rated defender at the Bernabeu with an overall FTBL rating of 108.86 points.” Ironic, since Arbeloa started his career at Real!

As it stands, Manbag Pepe has 97.14 points while Sergio Ramos has 93.02 points.

It’s only six hours away… and Ramos the Raver is ready to entertain you when Spain take on the USA in the semi-finals of the Confeds! Are you excited, futbolitas?

Anyway, FIFA commissioned a research with pretty interesting results on the Spaniards. Xavi’s passing success rate in the final third of the field came out tops at 80% and analysts confirmed that the Spain star has completed more passes in this key area than any other player at South Africa 2009. The squad has an “unrivalled passing accuracy of 78 per cent.” Even our Brazilian manos come in second at 71.8% per cent!

Uncle Del Bosque – obviously beaming with pride about this fact -  reiterated what the statistics otherwise already proved.

“La Selección relies heavily on its attackers, and our solution was to select midfielders who could both defend and create openings. Luckily for us, players like Xabi Alonso, Xavi, David Silva and Andres Iniesta are among the best in the world in this role.”

It’s our 1000th post and it’s time to celebrate, Raver Ramos style!!! We’d like to take this chance to thank all of you for visiting, referring us in your blogs, twitter and sites and telling all your lindo amigos and amigas about Futbolita. If it weren’t for you, we’d probably be with Grandma Juande and Nereida’s cat. Today, we’re also excited to discover a growing community of Latin football aficionados out there who love the game as much as we enjoy screaming at Foreignchester United fans. Rafael da Silva‘s still there so everything’s cool between us OK?  Except that he’s not picking up our phone calls. For real.

Again, beijos a todos vocês! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

["Hombre! That man over there pulled my hair" - Sergio Ramos. "Mine too!" - Iker]

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Photo captions aside, Del Bosque has told Radio Marca that he may drop David Villa in La Seleccion’s showdown against Turkey tomorrow.

“Villa is s a guy who (is) guaranteed to (score) but the other day we had our doubts. He is an important man for us, but we do not want to harm Valencia. It’s not that we are displeased with anybody, but we have to refresh the team for Wednesday,” he said.

Is it us or is Del Bosque making excuses? Spain were lucky to pull off a 1-0 victory on Saturday and he knows they need a better comeback ahora. Dropping Villa is too easy…

Los Blancos smashed six goals past Real Betis last night with doubles from both the Pixie, Huntelaar and record king, Raul. The other goals were courtesy of Sergio Ramos, Oliveira and the Pied Piper of Hamlin, Gonzalo Higuain.

Ah, Raul seems to be getting better with age. And Huntelaaaaaar is an exciting prospect to look out for!

Overall, it was good game for Madrid who are now seven points adrift of Barcelona. It’ll certainly be an interesting Wednesday night Champions League meeting against Liverpool.

“The team have grown as a whole,” said Grandma Juande Ramos after the 6-1 win. “All the players are talented, but they must use it to help the team. All the players have improved and the team is benefiting.”

Well, it’s very rare to see Sergio Ramos score in any game since he’s hardly an attacker, but the flamenco dancer did just that last night. He canceled out Osasuna’s first goal against Real Madrid, which they eventually won 3-1 courtesy of goals from Pied Piper of Hamelin Higuain and Robben. So Real are on a high now with their fourth straight win in the La Liga.

Said your new friend (oh, come on!), Real’s president Vicente Boluda : “The team has been through a lot this week because of what happened, but it also knew how to overcome. I hope we can continue picking up wins and finish the season confidently.”

Boluda is making everyone eat that “Calderon put you in the dark, I will show you the light” bullshit. Don’t do it, guys!!

And yes, we’ve been having nightmares of that photo Boluda took with Grandma Juande posted a few days ago. They look like they’re having an illicit affair.

The other Ramos at Real Madrid, Senior Sergio, was asked what he thought about his team’s chances at winning this weekend’s el clasico. But he remained wary – much like his expression in the photograph above.

“A clear victory is very good for us against Barcelona. The result gave us confidence. Matches against Barça are always special. All matches are important, but this draws more attention,” he said. Si Senor! Tell us something we don’t already know?!

About Juande, he said : “Juande was very well received by the team. He is a great coach, with great prestige and experience.”

Great Prestige? Well, that’s new. As we all know, it’s very difficult to please the madristas unless Juande manages to come off with a Nou Camp victory on Saturday.

My connection is screwed up today, so our Picture of the Day is going to have to be an oldie.

I do not understand what’s going on in this picture – it looks like a Tug-of-War match that’s going nowhere. Sergio Ramos is gunning for a Herbal Essences hair contract in this pic, we swear.