Now now, doesn’t everybody look fit? Special mention to Puyolita and Silva who remembered that there are OTHER PHOTOGRAPHERS on the field who deserve attention! In case you’ve been dreaming of Titipo Henry’s handball a little too much these days, you’d better wake up with marshmallows surrounding you because Spain defeated France 2-0 and yes, it really does mean they’re serious. Take it as a sign… we should be afraid of their prowess and Uncle Del Bosque’s subtle grin. Te gusta?!
Que hubo, GuapoVela?! For scoring against New Zealand yesterday, tipo deserves a nice and polite applause. Or perhaps a nice empanado. To be honest, he’s been under performing for the Gunners (and probably the weight of the expectations can be too much sometimes) so it’s really good to see him do well for Mexico. May they break their first-round curse and do well in South Africa! Vamos, Carlito!
Last but not least, let us all hold hands and scream “Queremos Flautista de Higuaín!” (we want the Pied Piper of Higuain!) repeatedly as we go about our activities during the day. His goal against Germany was quite strange – but pretty cool – at the same time, particularly for its speed. Even FIFA (although not Yoda Blatter himself, Thank God) voted Higuain’s shot as the “Goal of the Day”. And we agree of course!
After weeks of mercilessly making fun of Simao and tio Quique Flores, Atletico Madrid decided to snap their fingers and yell “¡Es suficiente!” to our faces. And we got the memo after they gave Valencia a 4-1 thrashing yesterday. Yes Kun, we know you’re thrilled but Valencia were down to nine men… so that’s a vantage point, tipo!
“We have recovered our football, the mood and feeling. We have a string of good results and are in good form. The team maintains a regular basis and we believe that we have a good dynamic,” said Flores proudly after the game.
Can Rojiblancos maintain this form or return to empanados again?! Diego Forlan rightfully deserves the belated Sunday Senor title so Applause, por favor!
So it wasn’t just Gonzalo who had an amazing time on the pitch last night. His older bro’, Federico aka the Other Higuain Hermano also helped his team to score against Boca Juniors later in the day. But never underestimate Martin Palermoooo, Godoy Cruz! He’s full of surprises and as the Clausura’s leading goal-scorer (at the mo), he had to do something to salvage a point.
Still, the Godoy Cruz fans are such a passionate bunch. You have to give it to them… Cómo inspirar!
Feb 18 2010
Posted by Ash as Daily
Arsenal may have lost to Porto last night but Senor GuapoVela here needs to work harder if he wants to intimidate the linesman. Pippo Inzaghi gives part-time classes on that when no one is looking, so tipo Carlos better sign up pronto before all the slots get filled up! Luca Toni already graduated with honours two seasons ago but Pippo never mentioned a money back guarantee. A Sneaky man!
Anyway, the Gunners are now mulling over their 2-1 loss to Hulkamania Porto. Yeah, Fabianski probably needs to find a watering hole asap after yesterday’s performance. Gooners, if you see him walking in the streets of London today, do not hesitate to hand him a lawnmower and a Spandau Ballet CD. He will immediately do a back-pass with those things… you’ll see!
Our dear amis at SambaFoot finally presented Fabulousooooo with his “Best European Footballer in Europe” or Samba d’Or award at the Sevilla HQ on Monday. And thanks to many of your votes, he won it! My my, doesn’t it look muito legal? Je veux que le prix! Of course he didn’t juggle this ball…
It was pretty interesting to hear Fabulouso speaking about his family. “(My family) is not used to calling me before the games. Usually, they call me (after) to know how was the game. My mother never watches the games, she is too nervous,” he said. “She is afraid I will get hurt. One day, I left the field injured, having seizures during a game between Palmeiras and Ponte Preta. I had to leave in an ambulance. After that, it was very difficult for her to watch a game.” (Read the full interview)
The Dona has already decided on 50% of his World Cup list and says that he will tell the players after Argentina’s friendly with Germany next month.
The Messiah, Carlito Tevez, Pied Piper of Higuain and Kun were all called up for the game, leaving no space for Boca’s Martin Palermo. Futbolitas, it’d be a shame to leave him out of the WC squad seeing that he played a HUGE role in Argentina’s qualification in the first place. But as they say, competition is incredibly tough… Prepárense, muchachos!
via Ole, SambaFoot, Reuters
It’s time to check in on Deportivo’s Filipe Luis who is suffering from a fracture in his right leg. He was recently discharged from the hospital and almost everyone – especially Pepe - sent flying kisses and wishes. Que doce! “Unfortunately, I could not fight for a place in the seleção, but the Brazilian team is in my heart and I certainly have hope for the group. When I was there (at bootcamp), I was always treated very well and those and were great moments of my life. I have many friends in the seleção and will be here rooting for everyone,” he said.
Cue the Forrest Gump music now… those are pretty sad words, my friend. Also, Filipe bears an uncanny resemblance to Maxi Lopez but there’s no sign of a blooming Argie-Brazilian Bromance yet because The Dona would be crossed.
Just pretend that you can spot Geri The Pout Piqué from here because the man is standing at attention! Even Puyolita couldn’t be arsed to pose for the group photo…he was too happy smiling away. Anyway, Barca played a friendly against a lower-tier side, Reus Deportiu over the week in aid of the Haiti earthquake victims. You can’t go wrong with something like this. Such a warmhearted gesture from Los Cules!!
Mama Palermo!! Are our eyes playing tricks again… why does Argentina’s away kit look so much like Japan’s? But well, to be honest these electric blue tones are a lot more feroshaaaaa then the light-blue of their home kit. It brings out the colour of their hair, no? And Veron, this does not apply to you. Sin embargo, te ves mejor calvo…. Speaking of which, Martin Palermo really did score against Jamaica in a friendly last night while Ignacio Canuto netted in the other. Yes, yes, competition is heating up.
Look, it’s Sevilla’s Renato Dirnei (who last won the Confederations Cup with Brazil in 2005!) celebrating Sevilla’s entry into the King’s Cup final. Well, they lost to Getafe 0-1 but no matter… they’re all going to meet the Spanish King!! You know Fabulouso’s preparing his speech RIGHT NOW. “Sua Alteza, o rei…” (Your highness..). Sevilla’s opponents will be the winners of the Atletico-Racing clash tonight.
Check out this policeman – he’s really smiling and posing for the photo and holding on to Riquelme like there’s no tomorrow. Sneaky! “Look Jorge, I’m holding the bloke.. the famous one in the Adidas ad. You can go and take Martin Palermo for all I care, ” was the unwritten agreement in the Security Room.
There’s a lot of talk in Argentina now about the return of Roman to The Dona’s squad. As many of you know, they had a pretty bad fall out which led to Roman leaving the team eventually. As usual, any player who hasn’t won the World Cup feels an itch around their fingers at this time of the year. So obviously, the Argentinean presses are excited to speculate.
“Knowing Diego, the issue of Riquelme is very complicated and I do not think things will change,” said a member of Argentina’s coaching staff.
So Argentinean journalists asked The Dona how he was feeling about his “new fatherhood” status and he merely laughed in response! Tio, is that all we’re getting? Listen, father of Giannina, if it’s true – you must embrace it. Although it makes you wonder how on earth the Fertility Gods are being compensated for that miraculous feat. Nevertheless, this smells like a load of mierda so we should take it with a pinch of salt!
Anyway, his hastily-assembled Argentinean squad (without the European-based jugadores who were busy doing cartwheels) defeated Costa Rica 3-2 in a friendly last night. One of their many fetuses, Guillermo Burdisso scored the winner. Here are photos of all the goal-scorers who were immediately issued backstage passes to wine and dine Dalma Maradona, because well, you know Giannina’s kinda over ‘ballers for now.
via Reuters
The Dona is in South Africa to “inspect the facilities” that his boys will be using in Tshwane for their World Cup preparations. It’s a 5-day visit and as expected, he was greeted with much love and adulation (no snickering, come on!) by the country’s people. He found the time to attend a clinic with female jugadores (way to go!) at the High Performance Centre.
Anyway, The Dona thinks Argentina are hardly favourites to win the title. “We are not the favorites, we still need to work hard for that title. The main candidates for the title are the same as always – Brazil, Germany, Italy and now Spain.” He also added that he is perplexed with all the bad press The Dinho is getting. Well, that’s another story…
Maxi Rodriguez may have been pictured smiling next to his new “Whatever” coach Rafa Benitez in recent days, but his last press conference for the Rojiblancos was full of emotion. Holding back his tears, Maxi spoke about how he’ll always remember his time at the club. Awwww.
“It was like home. I was always treated well (here) in good times and bad. I wish I could relive that at another club, but it will be difficult. I was treated as if I was at home, in Argentina”
“It was difficult to make a decision like this but I like challenges. Our paths (are) separate but football has a lot of memories and the memories will always remain. The only thing now is that I do not have to face (Atletico) in the Europe League.”
Finally, all these months of sulking and lack of form have passed and Kun Aguero is starting to score again – in the right places, por supuesto! It’s pretty difficult not to refer to The Dona when a photo of Kun comes up because you know they’re perpetually bounded by Benjie and baby pacifiers for the rest of their lives.
Anyway, we’re afraid that Kun’s GolScramble against Recreativo Huelva in their 5-1 victory is only the beginning. He’s trying to squeeze his way into that Argentinean line-up - the one written by The Dona as he ate the Family Saver meal in a fit of rage at Chuck E Cheese. Everyone knew that Gianinna was Kun’s golden ticket, but he had to go mess that one up… so hermano, it’s time to get to work!!!
Little Twin Star - is that you?! Come on futbolitas, it’s a great photo (not only because Kaka is in it). Just look at the lovely snow in Madrid! Sometimes you just need to stop and kneel down in the middle of the pitch to truly experience it. Even Greaseano couldn’t help but feel a little bit envious, so he too gave up after being brought down for the 34,455th time and allowed the snowflakes to fall on his well-moisturized million-dollar… cheeks.
Anyway, Pellegrini’s Pack defeated Mallorca 2-0 yesterday, with goals from the Pied Piper of Higuain and Estie Granero. We must say that Pipita’s goal was muy impresionante and therefore, he fully deserves a place in The Dona’s rumoured World Cup squad list. Which still does not include Kun, of course.
After weeks of rally and support, it has now emerged that River Plate’s promising midfielder, Diego Buonanotte may be discharged from the hospital in two days following his horrifying car accident which claimed the lives of his three friends.
“He’s a very peaceful guy, he’s not a “night-man” and he was not drunk. It was a tragedy, his friends died and nobody expected that. He was so sad and I couldn’t believe it. I hopes he can get over this and find peace in his life,” says a River Plate futbolita, Sabrina, 18 from Buenos Aires.
“Everything went as planned for the operation. Now, we can only wait for his recovery,” said Pedro Hansen, River’s medical chief. As they say in Argentina, Fuerza Diego!
Meanwhile, Greaseano has hit back at Osasuna fans who yelled vulgarities at him at Real’s last game, including the evergreen “hijo puta es” and “Cristiano muérete!” It’s rare to want to be on his side, but this time, we must say that he gets the last laugh.
“Being made unwelcome (during matches) is normal to me. I’ve been there many times in England and ended up being voted the best player in the world.” Ouch!
Look who scored in Milan’s 5-2 thrashing of Genoa last night? The Italian Stallion, himself, Boriello…. and (brace yourselves), Huntelaar! All we can say is they both did a good job of covering for Pato while he was out spreading garlic butter with Sthef. As for Huntelaar, scoring via penalty doesn’t constitute much, but it’s still a goal and unless you do something else, no one is going to be very impressed. At least he did better than The Dinho, who failed to convert a spot-kick… but listen, Thiago Silva scored too OK?
Il Davide featured in the game too (of course) and Leonardo said he “trained in all positions” due to the unexpected injuries prior to the game. So how do things look for Juventus this weekend, then, uomini?
Alan Kardec is now officially a Benfica player! Of course you remember him… he’s the U-20 Brazil wanderkid from Vasco. Yes, there are thousands (and probably millions) of “Brazilian Wanderkids” but damn, tipo over here is a fineeeee one! Anyway, upon his arrival in Lisbon yesterday, Kardec spent 2 hours at the airport finalizing legal documents and unfortunately, did not grant interviews to any of journalists. But that’s because none of them were wearing bikinis!
Ah, lovely! Senhor Mourn-In-HoHo was at Stamford Bridge to witness Diving Drogba in action last night. Ever the hardworking coach, Mourinho is already taking notes prior to their Champions League encounter with Chelski next February. This man is a workaholic and you can almost imagine him saying, “Please don’t call me arrogant but in Jose world, there is no room for mistakes.” Oh please, in Jose world, there will be a special corner selling Ballackwursts, Ibrahimovic posters at half-price and CDS containing trance remixes of “I think I’m the special one” How can you not be arrogant if you have all that?!
That’s Kun Aguero in happier days… before he pulled a Tiger Woods on Gianinna, of course. Sometimes, all you gotta do is to stop being a Douche and everything can be normal again. And perhaps things are looking up for Kun (maybe not in the national team – if The Dona really believes that blood is thicker than water) according to the latest round of gossip.
Now, it seems that Potter Perez wants to bring Kun to Real Madrid next July and is willing to shell out €60 million to see him wear white. He doesn’t mind Villa either – but it seems pretty unlikely at this point. As for Kun, in order to complete Phase 3 of the glitzy Bachelor lifestyle, he must move to the Bernabeu. Because, que es lo que quieres, verdad?
¡Qué trágico! for poor Diego Buonanotte. If you haven’t heard, the influential River Plate midfielder was involved in a fatal car crash – which killed three of his friends on Saturday. And according to the Argentinean dailies, Diego, who is in the hospital now frequently wakes up in the middle of the night asking “what happened? what happened?” From time to time, Diego also asks to watch TV.
“In his state, he does not remember much about what happened. He knows that there was an accident, but not everything that happened. So we decided that we will (summon) a special group of psychologists and psychiatrists to address the situation. It will be between hospital professionals and River Plate,” explained Diego’s doctor, Horacio Cavaliere. He added that the recovery process will take at least seven months and he is optimistic because Diego “is a young boy, an athlete, who neither smokes nor drinks alcohol.”
Messages are streaming in from all corners of the world – mostly well-wishes from fans of River Plate who want a speedy recovery for him. Even their arch rivals, Boca Juniors said : “Fuerza Diego. We are with Buonanotte in this difficult time.”
Ola Futbolitas! Many of you may not know this (and a few amici still tease us about it) but last December, we interviewed Greaseano himself aka Cristiano Ronaldo via phone from Japan). And yes, he was nice and sent us his autographed book – so we’ve been pretty mean calling him names. Anyway, we didn’t get to speak to this year’s Jugador del Ano (Player of the Year) on the phone because of his tight schedule. Still, that didn’t stop us from getting Leo Messi!
Yes, The Messiah exclusively answered our questions on Monday – mid-flight to Zurich to collect his FIFA Award. It was a loco week for Barca, but thanks to our dear amigos, Messi dished out a series of interesting answers for our newspaper, on his good friends, family, the awards (of course) and winning the World Cup with Argentina! We’ve included a few of Messi’s relevant quotes below from the main interview so read on … and Happy Boxing Day to you!
ON HIS EMOTIONS
“I am happy. For many reasons, this year was my best year. Fortunately, I did not have many injuries and continued to play at a good level. Since I arrived (at) Barça, I have been very involved with the team. In football, teamwork and goals is what I love most.”
ON FAMILY AND HIS GIRLFRIEND, ANTONELLA
“For me, it is very important that I have my family’s support. I know that I am privileged (now) so the best thing is to enjoy what I have and to be the same person as always. I am happy that my family is more settled now.”
“Yes, I’ve seen (Antonella) grow up and she knows me very well. Our families are good friends, so I had no doubts about her. I’ve grown as a person and as a footballer and it is clear (she) supports that.
ON HIS BEST FRIENDS
“As I said before about (Eric) Abidal, he’s one of my good friends in the team and he always jokes around. Gabriel Milito is like a brother to me and he’s a great person. He’s very strong and we’re happy to have him back (from injury).? At Barcelona, I am close to everyone. Gerard Pique is also a ‘buen amigo’ (good friend) and I can always laugh with (Brazilian defender) Dani Alves as he’s a very outgoing person.”
ON THE LA LIGA
“The La Liga is even stronger this season, and for sure, it will continue to get better with more big signings. But I think that the quality of the league is also improving. So I believe that in the next few years, Spanish football will be more popular and I hope more people (around the world) will watch it.”
ON HIS ADVICE FOR ALL OF US!!!
“Always have a positive attitude, and dreams can come true with hard work and effort. With hard work, anything is possible. I can assure you that you can dream and that dream can be achieved.”
ON THE WORLD CUP
“I also want to win the World Cup in 2010, a title that the Argentinean people have been waiting for a long time. Lastly, I dream of another treble first because winning six trophies again is very difficult.”
Now now, doesn’t that look amazing? A Laser light show right in the middle of the Nou Camp? The last time Senor Laporta demanded for this to happen was when Barca won the treble. And ya’ll know how passionate he is about Catalunya’s independence so it was obvious that he was going to pull all the stops to make it increïble!
Anyway, Catalonia and Argentina played to a friendly yesterday and of course, Bobojan scored in their 4-2 victory. To be fair, The Dona’s men were without influential players like the Messiah so they fielded a… well, tired side. Also, speaking of The Dona, we found him in the stands! In case you miss him….we’ve got photos.
113 years. That’s how long Argentina’s Banfield took to claim their first Apertura title! But that’s how long it’s also going to take AC Milan to find a new president as well…
Interestingly, Banfield, a city in Buenos Aires was founded in 1896 by English, Irish and Scottish immigrants. Their closest opponents – Newell’s Old Boys(at 39 points) also have English roots. Their 2-0 to San Lorenzo allowed Banfield an advantage over the slip-up. Similarly, Boca Juniors’ 2-0 win over Banfield weren’t able to prevent their claim of the title.
“We lost today, but without a doubt we were the best. There’s no doubt we deserved the championship,” Banfield coach Julio Cesar Falcioni said.
Doesn’t The Messiah look all forlorn and contemplative in that photo? And haven’t we seen that familiar look before…. on a Mime’s face somewhere? Il est un acteur beau! UEFA should commission an opera about football and call it Le Grande Affair. All that’s left for Leo to do is to put on white gloves and wait for the lights to go out! Domenech, The Dona and Henry will each have their own parts to play (unscripted, naturally!) Tickets to the play will be sold out in ten minutes – especially when it starts showing at Milan’s La Scala Opera House and Berlusconi buys the entire front row.
Anyway, we’re digressing as usual but your hero of European Mimes for 2009 has claimed his gold and glistening Ballon d’Or award in Paris. He said : “I want to thank my family, my friends, and my brothers who are always there for me.”
Yes, Messiah’s referring to those protective bro’s of his who ban him from chilling with The Dona at the hotel bars. Tipos need to chillllllll…. he’s only having Coke!
So a sad day has come, and according to reliable sources in Argentina, Gianinna and Kun Aguero have officially parted ways. Kun has already packed his bags and left the family home following allegations that he cheated on his wife with a dancer. So it isn’t just Tiger Woods who should be avoiding the feminism society these days!
Anyway, gossip rags are saying that Kun is “not used to married life” and that the emotional discomfort he is facing at home has led to his dismal performances on the pitch. The main problem was he wasn’t comfortable idea of raising a family yet and while he initially showed good behavior, over time the relationship began to crumble and Gianinna often ‘questioned’ her husband’s frequent nights out.
For now, her intention is to stay a while longer with Benjie to save the relationship. But if it does not work out – according to people close to the family – Gianinna could return to Argentina with the child. By the way, what does The Dona have to say about all this and will blood be thicker than water in his team selection? (via La Nacion with thanks to Kickette).
On the eve of the star-studded World Cup Draw, Mickey Mouse’s Muse aka David Beckham remembers Nelson Mandela! What a great PR team he has… “When I was last here with England, I had the honour of meeting Nelson Mandela. That was the highlight of my career; to meet such a great man and a strong man and such a passionate man about sport and life will always stay with me.”
Lastly, your favourite pair of Brazilian gêmeos happened to arrive at the same time as their coach in a UNICEF benefit earlier this week. They tried to tell their older brother to drive slower but…it was too late, and they got out into the pavement at the same time! Look at Rafael’s face. Nós queremos beliscar-la!
Ok, here you go.. Del Potro and Carlito Tevez, the new BFFS and Tennis/Football pairing (albeit a sadder version of Nadal/Casillas) at the O2 Arena in London yesterday at the ATP World Tour Finals. Ya’ll know The Dona welcome them both to his Thanksgiving dinner celebrated in honour of Benjie, which the duo kindly declined in favour of a movie (New Moon) and popcorn (a mix of sweet and salty).
Oh, who are we kidding? The Dona apparently hates everything that comes from the USA so the dinner would have to show Hugo Chavez dancing to tango to warrant any sort of attention…
Anyway, it’s great that Del Potro defied Federer last night but this weekend is about the Clasicos so unfortunately, only blow fishes will be paying attention to tennis. Let’s go, futbolitas!
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