We’ve been calling him Mickey Mouse Becks for a long time, but the poor mano tore his Achilles tendon last night and has been ruled of the World Cup. For that, we are lighting candles today and sending Oreos with hugs. Oh dios, Becks really wanted to go South Africa. Qué día tan triste!
“In cases (of the) rupture of the Achilles tendon, players go at least five or six months without playing. He is out of the tournament. Tomorrow Beckham will travel to Finland, where he will be operated on,” declared Uncle Fester Galliani.
On a slightly more positive note, Milan won the game 1-0, although they clearly should have done better.
Why so serious, tipo? Worrying about when Dopey will call you up next? Não se preocupe, ele ainda está pensando … and yes, there isn’t much change to the official ‘camisa da selecao’ although Pato claims that it’s a lot lighter in texture. “It really looks good and the body and material greatly facilitates the attacker,” he said. Manos will also be wearing it for the first time next week against Ireland and if you’d like to see the blue shirt, it was launched at Carnaval and looks like this!
Also, our fashion amigos are going to love the fact that this year’s Copa del Mundo jerseys are all made from plastic bottles! Yes, approximately EIGHT bottles were used to make each jersey. How ingenious!
Lastly, the Brazilian press are speculating that Pato looks pissed because he was picked as an ‘emergency option’ for the event in London. Fabulouso, Dani Alves, Adriano and Robinho were not released by their respective teams and feared The Dinho’s appearance would cause a controversy. Esta é a fofoca!
via Nike, Gettyimages, AFP
Take a good look at Hotel Fairway in Johannesburg… because this is where the selecao will be based at during the World Cup! Que magníficoooo.
“It’s the place that comes closest to what the Brazilian team is accustomed to having. We need a place that gives us comfort and privacy,” said Dopey.
Even Tiger Woods would want to make his return to sport after looking at that view of the golf course! But there’s really no need to because these days, he can take his golf club and hop onto the Burro Buggy with Assley Cole.
The Dona is in South Africa to “inspect the facilities” that his boys will be using in Tshwane for their World Cup preparations. It’s a 5-day visit and as expected, he was greeted with much love and adulation (no snickering, come on!) by the country’s people. He found the time to attend a clinic with female jugadores (way to go!) at the High Performance Centre.
Anyway, The Dona thinks Argentina are hardly favourites to win the title. “We are not the favorites, we still need to work hard for that title. The main candidates for the title are the same as always – Brazil, Germany, Italy and now Spain.” He also added that he is perplexed with all the bad press The Dinho is getting. Well, that’s another story…
Felipe Andreoli and Rafael Cortiz of CQC are back! And this time, they went out to wreak havoc in Cape Town, the venue of the World Cup draw. As usual, these folks are muito louco and simply brilliant. You must see how they chased (and made fun of) the likes of Beckham, Figo, Carlos Bilardo, Dunga, Cafu and everyone else who had the misfortune (or fortune, perhaps!) or being stopped by them at the red carpet.
Beckham probably received the best treatment out of the lot. “You are very beautiful, very beautiful (but) I have a problem – my girlfriend loves you more than me!” declared Cortiz to the English player. Becks replies : “I really don’t know what to say.” Meanwhile, Andreoli told Becks at the red carpet : “Here’s a gift from Brazil (hands over a flag). This is good luck for England – because you know, we always win.”
The best part has to be when they stopped the ministers and political figures at the red carpet. Andreoli told the Switzerland contingent : “You should ask for Federer, he’s a good player!” and everyone stopped to laugh. Later, he attempted to give Argentina’s Carlos Bilardo (aka The Dona’s best friend) a bottle containing his piss (well, supposedly, of course…)
Ei tio Parreira… you’re wearing the right colours but you seem confused! Anyway, on the eve of the World Cup draw, the coach of South Africa spoke to Brazilian journalists about possibly playing his home country in later stages of the tournament.
“The World Cup starts now!” he declared.”The people here are already living the World Cup. And I confess that I’m beginning to feel the responsibility. The fans do not want to know if the team is the 85th place in FIFA’s world rankings or 14th in the African rankings. They come to me and say “we want to win”. They want to go to final and to play against Brazil would be a dream.”
Seriously, everyone stepped over his head when Parreira the Parrot was the coach of the selecao. Ronaldo Lima’s girlfriend was allowed on the pitch during their training sessions…como distracção! We would have asked for a personal chef along with that pitch party….
We’re supposed to be reading on feminism theories but unfortunately, this stunning photo of the Porto Elizabeth stadium in South Africa has distracted us. Doesn’t this make you all excited for Copa del Mundo?!
Anyway, Porto Elizabeth stadium is the fifth one to be completed in time for the tournament and will be able to hold 48,000 fans. It will host eight games, a quarter-final and the third/fourth playoff (oooh, wonder who’ll be playing that one!)
The city is on the coast of South Africa in the eastern province – one of the popular tourist destinations in the country. It also boasts lovely beaches and is one hour away from Jeffreys Bay, another city famous for its waves and surf championships. The question is.. are you ready?!
via AFP
So Carlos Tevez injured himself in the bathtub while he was in South Africa for Oil City’s three-match tour last month. As a result, Mark Hughes thinks that The Dona should not call him up for international duty. Oooh, suegro del Kun Aguero will NOT be happy.
“He injured himself (in the same area) in a bathroom in South Africa. I prefer that he doesn’t get called up. He has not (trained) for the entire season,” said Hughes.
“An Argentinean doctor arrived today and spoke (to) Maradona. He probably wanted to see how Tevez was doing,” Hughes added.
So we can conclude that Tevez is a klutz and it’s all City’s fault! Hey, we all slip and fall in bathrooms, don’t we?
What a miracle! Someone actually thinks that Joel Santana speaks good English… (!!!!) but then again, she was his ‘official translator’ at the Confederations Cup – so you can excuse her.
Yes, meet Desiree Queiroz, whose father Tita once played for Vasco, Flamengo and the selecao. She’s probably the only one in Brazil who thinks Joel Santana’s English is audible and good.
“I was very happy to see Joel speaking English at all interviews, the people wanted (to hear him speak it) and he (picked it up),” she said.
“Joel (did his) job with great honor and hard work. During the Confederations Cup, he showed that he was the best person for the job. Fans loved and believed in Joel. The press was very pleased with the work that the technical committee did. Anyone who witnessed the departure saw that there was a big change and it was a beautiful game to watch.”
Is South Africa ready to host futbol’s biggest tournament next year? According to reports in Brazilian newspapers, they have good stadiums, excited fans and roads in “reasonable conditions.” As such, South Africa is closing on a “friendlier note” to host the games, a sentiment that wasn’t the case last year.
However, there are still some serious areas that are lacking, particularly South Africa’s approach towards security, transportation and accommodation. All these factors posed problems to the players, tourists and journalists who came for the competition.
“In South Africa, it is rare to see people walking the streets at night. Even hotel staff recommends that tourists do not leave the hotel on foot at any time of the day. A group of Brazilian journalists found their car surrounded by five bandits who broke the glass of the vehicle and stole the driver’s mobile phone,” observed a reporter.
There are also insufficient hotels and accommodation for travelling fans. For example, more than 15,000 Englishmen travelled to South Africa to see the sport and they couldn’t find places to stay as the hotels had already been taken up by locals and the delegations.
Well, the country still has more than 300 days to improve their policies. We don’t want people killed next year and this looks inevitable!
Ah, there’s so much going on in this photo. Ramos the Raver must learn to let go of Villa. After all, it’s been confirmed that they won’t be teammates at club level next season!
South Africa coach, Joel Santana, however, must quickly sign up for English lessons if he does not wish to incur the wrath of everyone who watches the post-match interviews. “Depois the jugadores tranquilo played very well” is the sentence of the year.
“(The goal) meant everything to me as it was a difficult season. God only knows what I did. Our first half was sad. We believed in the second half. I can only thank the group for having fought to the end.” – Lucio
Photo Credits : R.Ribeiro, AFP and Gettyimages Sport
Photos courtesy R.Ribeiro
It is with great sadness that we welcome you to Day Fourteen – the last of our Selecao Bootcamp specials! Here’s Robinho welcoming you with the “D” face. Determinação, we mean. He’s probably listening to “Beat It” on his ipod as the man behind mysteriously looks on.
Anyway, it looks like Dopey’s experimenting again as he sent Julio Cesar, André Santos, Lúcio, Luisão, Maicon, Felipe Melo, Julio Baptista, Robinho and Nilmar to the gym yesterday. The other players trained at the Orlando Stadium. Everyone’s excited and calm – even Brazilian football president Ricardo Teixeira dropped by to have lunch with the players. Another round of bingo, anyone?
Later, good old Gilberto Silva tried to explain what sets the manos apart from their counterparts. “Brazilian teams always smile and laugh; it’s important for our football. We’re all mates. We enjoy each other’s company. We try to take that atmosphere and camaraderie and transform it into good football, good attacking football.”
It sucks to play for third or fourth place… but at least you’ll get to enjoy the rest of your ‘trip’ knowing that nothing else can be done. Stable Boy Torres thinks there’s no such thing as ‘favourites’ in the Confederations Cup anymore. Yeah, because Spain were favourites and are now forced to play in the losers pool…
“I think the USA have a good chance of winning against Brazil,” he said. “In moments of great importance, there’s no such thing as favourites.”
Like his captain, Puyolita, Torres maintained that he isn’t thinking about the holidays. God, these Spaniards are too serious. Grab a Kinder Bueno already from Cescy’s backpack!
Torres added : “What matters to me is winning before leaving on vacation.”
Oh Dani Alves, how could we love him any less? His goal yesterday against South Africa was perfeito! Great vision and a lot of thought put into the set piece. Mano knew he had a 80% chance of the ball curling neatly in – and he struck it like it was 1974!
As for the rest of the game, a lot of credit must be given to the South Africans. Joel Santana – whose English still sucks – obviously knew Dunga’s men better than he did. They were all over the field – attacking, defending and running back to counter. Luis Fabiano and Robinho were well taken care of by their markers. Andre Santos had a few good chances with the ball. Kaka had a bad game, but a few decent shots at goal. And Ramires could’ve passed to his amigos on the left instead of going for personal glory. Never waste the ball cara, especially when you’re getting clamped down like planktons by your opponents. PASSE!
Anyway, Dani’s goal was dedicated to his two children – Daniel and Vitoria. The tattoos on his toned body were of their names… in case you didn’t notice. A great celebration indeed! Now they all need to sit down and enjoy the remnants of Kleberson’s birthday cake. The question is, are you ready for Sunday’s Final against the USA?
Goldilocks doesn’t think you should mourn or scream at his team for mysteriously losing out to the USA on Wednesday. Instead, you should all sit down and allow la seleccion to take this as a lesson as they battle for third place in the Confederations Cup.
“We know that in football is like this – one day you are the best but the criticism comes after the first defeat. But we must be prepared and this will help us to us grow. We have to start winning again, secure third place in the Cup and prove we can (beat our opponents),” he said.
“ We are thinking about the holidays, but we must fight to the end.”
Oh Puyolita! We hope that he eventually found a decent hairdresser in South Africa. You know he could work Lady Gaga’s bangs and still look the same.
Quick futbolitas, assess their outfits! What on Earth is Elano wearing? Those painter pants have to be thrown out. Pato’s not doing so well either - he dresses like one of those pizza/gamer douchebags in SuperBad. Amigo, your jeans are horrible.
Andre Santos and Nilmar are wearing the ‘typical ‘baller’ outfit – fitting white shirts, jeans and white shoes. Kaka is a barbecue dad circa 1997 all over again. Luis Fabiano is ready to kill bees with that outfit and Baptista… honestly?!
Anyway, these photos were taken a few days ago when the selecao went out to enjoy a “day of sightseeing” after their win over the USA. By the way, they buy the weirdest stuff when they go out. Like shampoo, soap and chocolates. Just sayin’….
Photos via Antonio Scorza /AFP/Getty Images
It’s only six hours away… and Ramos the Raver is ready to entertain you when Spain take on the USA in the semi-finals of the Confeds! Are you excited, futbolitas?
Anyway, FIFA commissioned a research with pretty interesting results on the Spaniards. Xavi’s passing success rate in the final third of the field came out tops at 80% and analysts confirmed that the Spain star has completed more passes in this key area than any other player at South Africa 2009. The squad has an “unrivalled passing accuracy of 78 per cent.” Even our Brazilian manos come in second at 71.8% per cent!
Uncle Del Bosque – obviously beaming with pride about this fact - reiterated what the statistics otherwise already proved.
“La Selección relies heavily on its attackers, and our solution was to select midfielders who could both defend and create openings. Luckily for us, players like Xabi Alonso, Xavi, David Silva and Andres Iniesta are among the best in the world in this role.”
Welcome to Day Twelve of the Brazilian Boot camp! You know you’ll MISS this when the tournament ends in a few days… we know we’ll be crying for sure! Josue (above) thinks all this is funny, though.
Anyway, half the squad headed to Virgin Activity Academy yesterday to exercise while the rest went to the Olanda stadium to practise. At the academy, players who featured in the Italy game (including Gilberto Silva, Felipe Melo, Ramires, Kaka, Robinho and Luis Fabiano) did weight lifting and low-intensity aerobic exercises. They were mobbed by fans In Johannesburg, who wanted autographs and photographs.
Also, the Brazilians are loving South Africa so far. “Rarely have I seen a gym that is as well equipped as this,” said the squad’s physiotherapist. “Moreover, based on what I’ve seen so far in South Africa, I can say it is a country that has enchanted me the most. Look, I have visited many countries!” (Ok, ok, we know good PR when we see one.)
Photos courtesy R.Ribeiro
We have a plane to catch in a few hours but our boys come first so let’s celebrate their 3-0 victory over the Italians! Luis Fabulouso’s superb finishing and that rather unfortunate own goal (we felt bad for laughing) means that they’ll meet South Africa for a place in the final on Thursday. The third goal happened so fast that Robinho’s goal celebrations were hard to grasp. On hindsight, it’s pretty mean to celebrate someone else’s loss but nevertheless, you have to admit that the Italians were careless and overwhelmed by Brazil’s pace and counterattack. And Luca Toni upfront (sigh…) never really posed a threat. Time and time again, we wait for him to demonstrate his usefulness to the Azzurri but he always disappoints!
Of course, the fans stole the show again and even with all the face paint stashed in our cupboard, we’d never be as creative as them. In the other game, the USA put up an impressive performance against Egypt which means they’ll meet Spain on Wednesday. Any predictions, futbolitas?
Photos : AFP
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