Fútbolita

Okay Milanistis, prepare to welcome Zlatan Ibracadabra to your Rossoneri family! If all goes as planned today, the club’s vice-president, Uncle Fester Galliani will be meeting up with Mourinho’s prodigal son and his manager, as both sides battle it out for the annual Joan Gamper trophy at the Nou Camp tonight.

“It will be a difficult negotiation and we will not talk of financial matters,” said Galliani. Umm, if it isn’t about the money, what else could they be discussing? The pasta sauce to be served for dinner?

Added Guardiola, whom ya’ll know is always so gracious in his words,  “I do not regret the exchange with [Samuel] Eto’o [for Ibrahimovic]. You cannot go back on the decisions you have made.”

He will be missed…

via AFP, Reuters, Globoesporte

Obviously David Maravilla has nothing to do with Zlatan Ibracadabra’s fickle-minded nature, but the fact that he’s waltzing past you in a pink shirt should be enough to start us all of to a good note, bubblegum and all.

Apparently, Milan are very excited at the prospect of getting Ibracadabra and his nose to the club, but Barca have refused to talk unless they get ‘one of their players’ in return. Quién? you say. The three names are Pirlo, Pato or Thiago Silva. The last two seem highly unlikely but knowing Barca, they’re not going to settle for has-beens. To be a Blaugrana, you’d better BRING it to the table!

And as for the abundance of pinkness in this post, you know what they say…

Photos via Reuters, EL Pais

No, you’re not looking at a new edition to the epic Barney & Friends television show. It’s Zlatan, meu amigas! The Ibracadabra you forgot all about. OK, maybe it was just us but the fact of the matter is that he is going to make Barca fans very happy with a recent declaration – that he’s staying at the club and ~totes~ going to have lunch with Davilla.

“Guardiola told me that I am an important part of the team, so I understand that I will play, because if someone is not important, they do not play,” he said, rather reassuringly of course. If he doesn’t change his outfit soon, we will be counting pears…

This, my friends, is David Brazil huddled next to your favourite couple of Julio Cesar and Susana Werner. They celebrated his birthday by throwing a poolside party for David and his boyfriend. Awww! Walking out on your birthday to see a topless Julio Cesar will not leave you disappointed (I mean – look at that smile on David’s face – que bom).

Yeah, he looks like buzz lightyear and all, but he’s no buzzkill!

Lastly (ignore the screams from our Dutch futbolita, Hanneke, in the background), but here is Wesley Sneijder on honeymoon in…. (drumroll), Ibiza, our most favourite place on Earth! Finally… somebody, aside from Juande Ramos decided to go there and hit it up ‘Jersey Shore’ style. He’d better be ready to hit it up before the new season starts!

via AFP, HOLA

Los Cules strolled to a comfortable 4-1 win over Racing last night thanks to a double from the Messiah and two additional goals from Pique and Ibracadabra. What else did you expect? For Puyolita to bag a hat-trick of own goals? That won’t be happening anytime soon! These folks are on a roll… and Pep Guardiola didn’t even need a mud bath.

“I am satisfied with the first and second half. We were serious throughout. We didn’t want to go crazy making unnecessary efforts, we passed the ball well and that made us stronger. We controlled the game,” Pep said after the game.

In other news, Samuel Eto’o is demanding around €3m (£2.7m) from Senor Laporta as part of the Barca to Inter deal. If he needs help, Potter Perez is just a phone call away…. or not.

Inter’s favourite Betrayer of Humanity (ha-ha) scored the opening goal against Getafe last night – and set up the Messiah’s second in the 78th minute.

“I am very pleased to have scored two goals, but the most important thing is to reach the rhythm,” he said. “I am not at a hundred percent yet, but I am getting there.” He also acknowledged the all-important role of his teammates.

“(Iniesta and Messi) make it easy for you. They open spaces up and defences do not know which one to mark.”

Bien évidemment… this makes the Ibracadabra our Sunday Senor!

via Reuters

Don’t you hate it when players move to another league and immediately start criticizing their former championship?!!! We don’t remember Ibracadabra being particularly resentful towards Serie A until Barca came knocking on his door, of course!

“In Italy, all teams are strong in defense and defend more than attack,” he told Tuttocampo. Well yes but this doesn’t apply to Milan if you look at the number of goals they’ve conceded recently.

Ibracadabra also thinks that teams who face Barcelona need to “pay more attention to the players” – compared to Inter.

“Here, football is not as stressful as it was at Inter (now now, could he be referring to Mourinho?!! ) The pace and environment is more relaxed and I can concentrate on my game. (La Liga) has bought two of the best players in the Italian and the Premier League. That’s very special,” he said.

These transfers are becoming complicated!!! All of a sudden, Eto’o is a Nerazzurra and rather ironically, has assumed Ibrahimovic’s number in the team. Talk about a Solid Swap deal!

“I want to write history with Inter,” he said. “I won almost everything with Barça, I hope to do so also here. It would be great to win the Ballon d’Or but first I’m thinking about the team’s interest and not my personal ones,” Eto’o continued. “Ibra is a great player but I am Samuel Eto’o and my past and my victories talk for me. I don’t like parallels being drawn. I wish Zlatan all the best.”

What’s with the Inter hombres and their need to show off the fact that they’re all “for the team”? Looks like Senor Jose is certainly drilling Teamwork 101 into their heads.

Zlatanholics, please enlighten us on the dragon tattoo. Did he just get that inked?! It’s quite sexy, but it a disgusting way. Ja, we just contradicted ourselves.

Anyway, with the European football season coming to a close (boohoo!), get ready for the rumour mill to go out at full force again. Transfers = Real Madrid = 104 potential players. Zlatan Ibrahimovic is the latest name to be associated with the club and the part-time Swedish vampire is playing games with the press again.

“My contract ends in 2012 or 2013. Anything can happen. There are no guarantees in football,” he said.

Nevertheless, there’s still a pretty long way to go till 2012 and that spells out three more seasons. This one will probably stay at Inter.

And we thought Zlatan and Balotelli were holding hands in the photo above. Well, they might as well have! Both scored in Inter’s 2-0 win over Genoa last night.

It will be a make or break week for Mourinho’s side this week as they prepare to face United in the midweek Champions League decider. The advantage clearly go to the hosts.

“We have faith for the game in Manchester even if I won’t be able to sleep because we’ll have lots of problems in defence against very strong, attacking opponents,” Mourinho said.

“This team has always come out with their heads held high despite all the problems. In defence, without Materazzi and Burdisso, without me being able to make any more changes, the spirit of the squad has come to the fore. Cambiasso played magnificently as a centre back and on the field he has been a leader.”

Indeed, Cambiasso has been pretty impressive for Inter. He’s a quality player and it’s great to see that he didn’t wait around to rot on the benches of the Bernabeu.