Fútbolita

Everybody’s backing this kid to do well for Brasil, so tempo para ser sério, Neymar! Nenhuma das festas, sem noites .. it’s time to be serious and not become another overrated menino. The key is not to get carried away, and focus, focus focus! Menezes better keep him in check and everything will be fine at the next World Cup.

That’s if Ronaldinho doesn’t come knocking looking for party mates. Ganso, do your job!

No, you’re not looking at a new edition to the epic Barney & Friends television show. It’s Zlatan, meu amigas! The Ibracadabra you forgot all about. OK, maybe it was just us but the fact of the matter is that he is going to make Barca fans very happy with a recent declaration – that he’s staying at the club and ~totes~ going to have lunch with Davilla.

“Guardiola told me that I am an important part of the team, so I understand that I will play, because if someone is not important, they do not play,” he said, rather reassuringly of course. If he doesn’t change his outfit soon, we will be counting pears…

This, my friends, is David Brazil huddled next to your favourite couple of Julio Cesar and Susana Werner. They celebrated his birthday by throwing a poolside party for David and his boyfriend. Awww! Walking out on your birthday to see a topless Julio Cesar will not leave you disappointed (I mean – look at that smile on David’s face – que bom).

Yeah, he looks like buzz lightyear and all, but he’s no buzzkill!

Lastly (ignore the screams from our Dutch futbolita, Hanneke, in the background), but here is Wesley Sneijder on honeymoon in…. (drumroll), Ibiza, our most favourite place on Earth! Finally… somebody, aside from Juande Ramos decided to go there and hit it up ‘Jersey Shore’ style. He’d better be ready to hit it up before the new season starts!

via AFP, HOLA

“Now everybody step aside, Guti is coming through!” were the instructions at the Ataturk Airport in Istanbul last night. Everybody at Besiktas had been waiting nearly a year to welcome him and his tattoos, so can you really blame the human scrum? It was a mini-show of its own! Guti knew he had to wear the shirt moments after clearing immigration. With the “finally, I’m outta Spain… look what I’ve gained!” look.

Of course, news that he had chosen to leave the Madridistas hardly came as a surprise. He has been pushing to leave the club for a while now and stated that he did not want to play in Spain any longer. Now the Gutes can have the finest kebabs in the world and visit all these exotic sites... Life is so unfair!

So Eva Langoria invited IkerBonero to dinner in Los Angeles, but forgot her Mexican amigos altogether? For the love of Vela… she could’ve dialed for Marquez and/or Chicharito! Hombre would’ve taken a flight that very instant to be with Gabrielle Solis – just ask Jesse Metcalfe! la vida es injusta cuando se es joven!

And as for Sara, oh how we love you but gurrrrrl, that is not a great picture. This one below, however, is awesome. Langoria’s whole sweater ensemble is really cool and now we know she isn’t one hundred percent Revlon all the time!

Interestingly, Alejandro Sanz and Penelope Cruz’s brother also joined in the dinner celebrations. Speaking of which, hermosa probably couldn’t make it because she was too busy with Javier Bardem. Aww, these blissfully married Madrilenos.

via EGO

Ok, forgive us for the lack of a creative title, but like Neymar, we’re kind of surprised at Manoooo Menezes’ 24-man squad for the USA friendly on August 10th. With so many new faces for Seleção Bootcamp, everyone needs to attend Orientation Camp ASAP!  Meninos like Rafael Curly Fries da Silva, Ganso, Pato and (drumroll) Hernanes, also finally received their call-ups after waiting on it forever. This is not to say that all of them deserved it (Lucas??), but it’s a nice technique to soothe the Brazilian public who can’t shut the image of defeat from their minds.

Rafaelito knows it, and he will be throwing a bitchface – like the one below – if you do not agree that he deserved the call-up. Seriously, enough of PS3 and barbecuing in Manchester… it’s time for the real deal. Hopefully, Fabio isn’t jealous because sibling rivalry is hilarious!

FULL SQUAD
Goalkeepers: Victor (Gremio), Renan (Avai), Jefferson (Botafogo)

Defenders: Daniel Alves (Barcelona), Rafael (Manchester United), Andre Santos (Fenerbahce), Marcelo (Real Madrid), David Luiz (Benfica), Henrique (Racing), Rever (Atletico-MG), Thiago Silva (Milan)

Midfielders: Sandro (Internacional), Ramires (Benfica), Lucas (Liverpool), Jucilei (Corinthians), Ganso (Santos), Ederson (Lyon), Hernanes (Sao Paulo), Carlos Eduardo (Hoffenheim)

Forwards: Robinho (Santos), Diego Tardelli (Atletico-MG), Alexandre Pato (Milan), Andre (Santos), Neymar (Santos)

Photos via Gettyimages/Reuters

Madridistas all over the world are devastated that Raul The Great One announced his decision to leave the club yesterday. Yes, it’s the end of an era…! you cry. But don’t forget that also takes great bravery to step aside when you know your time is up, and for that, Raul certainly needs to be applauded! There are many critics who often accuse Real Madrid fans of being “plastic, commercialized and/or mostly glory hunters,” but for a moment, let’s forget about the post-Beckhamadrid fans. The ones who’re certain to feel the pinch are the ones who’ve been following Raul’s career ever since he stepped foot against Atletico in 1994.

Perez loved him, so did King Juan Carlos, his wife, associates and the waitresses of Madrid. And looking back, Raul was also the first European player we personally met five years ago. A lot has changed since then… but we will always remember The Nose and his affectionate friendship with Morientes.

Speaking of which… look! We found the ancient photo from that July afternoon of 2005.

Don’t worry, we haven’t transformed into a Wedding Agency yet. It’s just the season for Baller’ Banquets. All you need to do is to scroll down and you’ll be ready to chuck that useless copy of InStyle Weddings! Last year (during this time), Nilmar, Pato, Lucas and Roberto Carlos all married their partners days apart from one another. One year on, three out of four ain’t so bad.

Baptista’s linda wife is a 2003′s Miss León Silvia Nistal, and although they’re both based in Italy now, the couple originally met in Spain (presumably when he was a Madridista). So of course, they decided to ‘formalize’ things in Madrid. How sweet! Former Arsenal teammate, Cescy and his novia, Carla, were thrilled to attend the ceremony as well.

Of course, it would’ve been sweeter if Baptista had gotten married after winning the World Cup with Brasil. Well, too bad. Manooooo, are you listening?

Fotos via EFE/ HOLA

From the looks of it, all Detinho (next to Ronaldo) wants is a FREE PASS to Mano Menezes‘ next seleção bootcamp! That expression on his face says it all. You could dial an ambulance and you still won’t be able to incept the Menezes/Detinho mind game because dude is dying to go to Granja Comary ASAP. They have a secret pact which does not include Roberto Carlos, infelizmente.

The point of this is to put our hands together, stand in a circle and say “Bem-vindo!!!” to the former Corinthians coach who will needing some of Dopey’s sleeping pills now as the official Brazilian national team coach! E ai MANO?!

Take a good look at the man whose first job is to say “Felipe Melo Who?”

Photos via Mauricio Lima/AFP

Bem-vindo to the Friday CQC Club! Today, we have another zany clip of Fabregas kissing a Spanish male reporter (classic) and a recent one of Felipe Andreoli at the Deco/Messiah event which was all the rage in Brazil last week. Fabregas pulled a IkerBonero, planted un beso on him and the CQC reporter instantly fell in love!

It’s been a bizarre week. Yesterday, an Australian dude admitted to us that he was “physically attracted“ to the Spanish team. Ooo, ésa es la verdad!

Ooh la la, Bobojan is giving you the eye in this picture. Quick everyone, do something! Tipo was said to be dating Sara Carbonero’s sister, Cristina, but he has denied this claim and is still with Blanca, his current namorada.

Anyway, many of you may be wondering how Bojan feels about his best friend, Pedrito and his World Cup win. After all, they both had equal chances to make the final squad… until Del Bosque maxed out his number of attackers for the final list and you know you can’t have everything. Well, he’s not bitter but admitted that he felt “healthily envious” when La Furia won.

“I am as delighted as all the players (as) we would have liked to be there. My goal is to return to the selection. I’ll work for it.”

Bobojan still has Euro 2012 to work towards, and we’re sure that he’ll be called to the squad then! In the meantime, here’s a bonus of Spain’s new favourite lovebirds, IkerBonero (move aside, Raul and Mamen!)

Photos via Gettyimages/Bellazon

It’s been a while since we last heard something about Botox Berlusconi. Obviously, we’ve been watching too much Chiambretti Nights for our own good, but that show is just brilliant beyond words… so can you really blame us?

Now it seems that the Milan fans are really annoyed and have decided to go on strike – something that has become a sort of hobby every season, especially if the club  is linked to a massive sale of a player. They want Berlu out and they want him to sell the club to better owners. Of course, he arrived smiling as if he had one too many cigars and started talking to the “safe” fans (aka NOT Curva Sud). Let’s not even go to Massimiliano Allegri, the new coach who has been brainwashed by Uncle Fester Galliani.

“This team still has a lot to offer, there are players in their 30s but there are also many young players. We have all the characteristics and the qualities necessary to do well and achieve important objectives: top three in the league and going as far as possible in the Champions League,” said Allegri.

“But conviction is vital for everything. I have a group of players who have won everything but there is still the ambition to do well again.”

Mio dios, this does not work in football anymore. Old players need to get out and new blood, brought in. Everybody’s moving on, it’s time to revolutionize and get with the times!

via AFP, Gettyimages